On The Way
by Gamewizard2008
Summary: Takes place between Legend of the Seven Lights and Seven Lights: The Last, also called the Voyage Arc. It will take 3 years until the KND reach the First Dimension. They must prepare their selves on the way there.
1. Protective Angels

**Just recently, my _Legend of the Seven Lights_ story saw its final chapters. This story is a collection of one-shots that take place during the 3-year journey to the First Dimension. (So, don't read this unless you finished the main story. P.S. now that Sugar's older, she sounds more like Lucy from _Fairy Tail_.)**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 1: Protective Angels_**

 **G.U.N. H.Q.**

His name was Joey Beatles… His brother was Wallabee, who had a wife named Kuki… Joey killed Kuki. He killed dozens of people. His mind was torn apart and reshaped into that of a killer. He was arrested by the Kids Next Door and locked in Moonbase. When the Apocalypse arrived, he was moved to GUN H.Q., locked in a secure cell with metahuman cuffs. He vaguely remembered where he came from, but now he was a monster that had to be locked away.

A soldier knocked on his cell door, but Joey didn't look up. "You have a visitor." The door opened as Joey saw a pair of bare feet walk in. His gaze directed up at the magenta music note dress to the head of long, aquamarine hair. The woman of 22 had purple eyes with a pink glass eyepatch over the left one.

"Hi, Joey. My name's Sugar. I'm with the Kids Next Door."

"Sigh… you're no kid." Joey said in a rough, morbid Australian accent. "I remember those guys. They don't let adults in."

"Joey, I used to occupy this cell. I know how you feel right now. I hurt people, too. I felt so bad that… I didn't wanna live, anymore."

"What did you do that was so bad? You look like you're on top of the world. You ever kill anyone?"

"Not specifically… but I ruined a lot of people's lives. I kept hundreds of people prisoner for my father's sake. And even though I tried to find enjoyment in what I was doing, I was dying inside. Joey, nothing you did was ever your fault. You know that, right?"

"Save your breath, I heard it already. The Government brainwashed me, I was made an assassin of CP10. 'No, that's not who you are Joey, you're my brother! You're Kirie and Joey's uncle—I even named him after you!' But when I look at that girl or her friends, I feel the urge to kill. They were the enemies I was ordered to fight… and even though I have no reason to hurt them, I want to. You couldn't understand. Otherwise, you would be in here with me."

"Maybe, but the reason I'm not in here is because I had someone to take me outside. I learned what I want to do and what to live for. Please, come outside with me, Joey. I can help you, too." She held an open hand.

Joey stared at her curiously and helped himself to his feet. "Why do I matter to you? I don't even know you."

"I don't really know why I want to. Maybe it's because of your family."

"My family?"

"My father died, and my brother and I… aren't getting along very well. I have friends, but I don't have anyone to come home to, anymore. I guess I feel like… I relate to you. So, I want to help you."

"Right… and where are we going, exactly? Taking me to rekindle with the family? Reintroduce me to society?"

"No, I wanted to take you somewhere else. Just come with me. You'll see."

"Sigh… all right. This place is boring, anyway."

"Hey, is it okay if I take him with me?" Sugar asked the GUN officer.

"Well, we'll have to ask the commander first… and we'll also have to bring a couple soldiers to watch after you. Let me escort you."

"Come on, Joey." Sugar smiled and invited him to follow. "Wave to all the nice prisoners!" They passed a hallway of jail cells sorted by groups. Sugar winked flirtingly at each one.

"DON'T you give us that look, Traitor!" Diamante stated. He and his associates were in a cell labeled _Don Quixote Family_. "It's your fault Doflamingo is dead!"

"Ooo, Sugar looks quite sexy now." Señor Pink said smoothly. "Perhaps she will like a taste of… _pink_."

"You know, the Teens used to have a plan for Agifying kids." Nya commented from a cell labeled _Teen Ninjas_. "Way to bring back dead ideas, Sugar."

"Who are they talking about?" the headless Man Ray asked. He was in a cell with Dirty Bubble, Dennis, and Karen. "I can't see anything!"

 _"Ugh… and I thought Plankton babbled too much."_ Karen sighed. _"I really wish XANA was still here."_

Sugar and Joey passed a cell labeled _Pipo Monkeys_ , which held dozens of Specter's former soldiers, including four of the Freaky Monkey Five. "LET ME OUT OF HERE!" cried Mojo Jojo as his unintelligent brethren were fighting with him. "I am Mojo Jojo, and my intelligence is superior to these lesser-minded chimpanzees, ergo I deserve a more sophisticated cell, perhaps with a journal from which to write my…"

The Nefarious Drones were conversing in a cell of their own. _"I can't believe that boy turned out to be the Seventh Light."_

 _"At least we found out what happens when Dr. Nefarious sees a plot twist. Sigh…"_ The robots bowed their heads in respect.

They passed a cell labeled _Cipher Pol 10_ , where Eldwin and five of the CP10 agents were held. "It's your fault we ended up in here." Ernie said to Eldwin. The chicken was wrapped like a mummy, having survived Chris Uno's attack with heavy damage. "I knew we should've elected Lucci as leader."

"Well, guess what: LUCCI AIN'T HERE! And for all we know, he probably decided he's too good for us."

There was also a cell for the Big Mom Pirate officers. "Hey, Peko-o-o-o-oms. Did you hear Augustus's voice earlier? Mmmmm boyoyoyoooon." Bobbin jiggled.

"Yeah, I did… I wonder if he's around? Growl…" Pekoms replied.

"Better watch out, Tyrone!" Black John Licorice said to his brother in the other cell. "He's coming back for Round 2!"

"And to think the _Noah_ 's power was almost mine…" Lord Licorice sat miserably in a cell shared with Veruca Salt, Violet Beauregard, and Mike Teavee.

"Boy, we turned this place into quite a party." Sugar mentioned. "Last time I was here, cells were all empty and boring. Still, seeing all these villains in one place makes me wonder what our new enemies are doing…"

 ** _King Dutchman_** (Play "Meanwhile in the Prison Ship" from _Rayman 2_.)

The dimension where our heroes had sailed from was ravaged in chaos and inter-dimensional ruin. The only thing that had been spared from the chaos was this titanic vessel with sharp teeth on the keel: the _King Dutchman_. Its massive sails carried the dark breeze of millions of souls who perished in the ultimate cataclysm. The Jolly Roger atop the mast depicted a green " **13** " with an "8" in the center.

And the Thirteen people who were spared the fate of nonexistence were gathered in the ship's dining room. The thrones had been torn out of the Great Clock and set around the rectangular table. Yellow Diamond and Thanos' giant thrones were set on one end of the room. "Good afternoon, crew!" Bill Cipher announced, pacing on the table in his human child form. "Terribly sorry we called you into this prophecy so abruptly. Why don't we begin our late orientation? Ahem…"

Bill directed up at the giant poster of his master. "This good man right here is Lord English, the single most powerful being in the entire multiverse. He's kinda responsible for the little masterpiece outside. Now, you are all here because you have been personally acknowledged by Lord English for your powers and characteristics, and have been chosen to serve in his crew. Scarce few have won such an honor, so you should be very thankful. We have constructed this ship, the _King Dutchman_ , to serve as our primary headquarters. Since you guys have been dubbed the Thirteen Darknesses in this prophecy, our organization shall hence be called 'The Thirteen.' …Ignoring the fact there are 16 of us, including me, Lord English, and Giovanni.

"Now, my name is Bill Cipher, Lord English's mentor and closest companion. Since my good friend hasn't had practice talking to people directly, I will act in his stead and serve as your boss. Rest assured I will certainly be writing to His Lordship about your accomplishments. Our job is to travel across the multiverse and spread the word and rule of Lord English until he has absolute control of everything. If you are successful, Lord English will reshape the worlds specially to your liking. Madara, you will be granted a world of peace and no conflict! Aizen, you will be granted millions of powerful warriors that will test your abilities. Zeref, we will transform all our fallen victims into Inferi and give you a world where no one can die, where no evil lies."

"Well, **I** want to return to my homeworld!" Yellow Diamond stated. "Is it not true that those children have sailed to the realm where my home lies?!"

"Rest assured, My Diamond, you will see your homeworld again. Unfortunately, this ship isn't built to survive the torrent of the First Byway like theirs is. Currently, the First Dimension is under a state of repair, and until that repair is complete, our enemies are safe from us as they travel the First Byway. If they get to the First Dimension, there's a chance that they _might_ discover a couple of Lord English's weaknesses…" Bill shrugged. "It's not likely, but just in case we'll have to stop them. All we can do now is begin conquering the multiverse.

"Now, Dimentio there has swallowed a powerful dimensional portal that can take us to all your home dimensions and beyond. Before we begin any real heavy-duty work, we have some pre-requisites to take care of. In other words, getting YOU guys involved in this prophecy! In the storage room, there are stone pyramids and little eyeball things called Unown. I'll tell you guys how to use them…" (End song.)

 **Earth; Forest of Light**

A small group of GUN troops carried Sugar and Joey to the Forest of Light on a ship. Under the night sky, the forest was still lively with fireflies, glowing plants, and moonlight that poked through the leaves. Sugar enjoyed the feel of the soft grass under her feet, and had invited Joey to go without shoes. Having his cuffs off felt nicer. "The sky looks different." Joey observed. "It looks… like something an artist created."

"That artist is April." Sugar replied. "She painted realistic images of the planets' skies, and Wendy used her magic to project those images inside the protective barriers."

"…Oh." Joey never heard such a direct and simple explanation to something so beautiful. But Sugar had explained what happened. Explained how the world was a smaller place…

"We did this so everyone could still live the normal lives they always had. We hope we can restore the worlds to their full size one day. But as long as that monster is around… we'll have to keep protecting them."

Sugar and Joey found a bushel of glowing blue butterflies. She reached and gently allowed one onto her finger, holding it to Joey. "Your niece really likes butterflies."

"Well… I like fighting and dodgeball." Joey chortled. "As a child, I was never awed at the sight of a butterfly."

"But you can become one. You have the power to change into any animal, according to Caesar."

"Yes, and it has proved quite handy in assassinations. So, what?"

"Joey… look around you. This forest is full of tranquil animals. They have no queries and no worries except finding food to eat. Even the would-be predators settle with fruit. Put yourself in the place of these animals… this butterfly, for instance. Know how it feels to be one."

Joey stared closely at the little creature. The butterfly's light glinted on Sugar's features. There was a blue twinkle in her eye, and her aquamarine hair seemed to match the blue glow in this light. The butterfly sat calmly on Sugar's finger, for it felt no fear in their presence.

 _I know that you have done things you're not proud of…_

 _You still feel the nightmares… swarming in your head_

Sugar's voice flowed with the harmony of the forest. The slumbering animals thought of it as a lullaby.

 _We only feel this pain… only 'cause we're human_

 _But you don't have to live in dread…_

Joey softly tapped the butterfly's antenna. With his metahuman power, he changed into a butterfly and landed on Sugar's finger. She brought him close and smiled.

 _I know you feel shamed for your wrongs…_

 _You want to stay away… but first, you must know_

 _How a butterfly feels as it flutters fro_

 _How to spread your wings and fly and grooooww…_

The bushel of butterflies fluttered to the moon under Sugar's lovely vocals. She watched as Joey joined the flock.

 _And let your nightmares goooo…_

Joey saw the glowing yellow eyes of a lemur in the leaves of a tree. He transformed into a lemur, scaring the creature as it leapt across the branches in fright. Joey excitedly pursued, and Sugar raced after, delighted by their antics.

 _Guilt is just the heart's way of mending its wound_

 _But no medicine heals stronger than joy_

The two lemurs began to fight over a peach.

 _We all have battles… we all make a choice_

 _To let our passions shooooww…_

Joey reverted to human form and fell out of the tree with the peach. The lemur was terrified and chose to leave him with this victory. Sugar picked up the peach and helped Joey to his feet. "And let your nightmares goooo…" She brushed the peach on her dress and handed it back.

"…What is this, a Disney musical?" Joey retorted, taking a bite from the fruit.

"Why can't it be?" Sugar grinned.

"It may be easy for you to forget what you did, but I killed people. I killed my own sister-in-law and didn't even realize it. Pretending to be a bunch of different animals in the forest ain't gonna make up for it."

"It's not about pretending or hiding from your problems. It's reminding yourself there's joy to be had in life. If you don't let your fears control you, you can be anything you want to be. Literally!"

"What if I still have an urge to kill? To assassinate for money? Because that part of me is still yelling over the part… that says I'm Joey Beatles. It's yelling that the Kids Next Door are still my enemy."

"Then… am I your enemy?" Sugar frowned.

"What?"

"I'm with Kids Next Door. If you wanted to, you could kill me. You can turn into a bear, maul me to death, then just blend in with the animals of this forest. You could get away with no consequence."

"I don't want to kill you. You were never my enemy."

"Then will you dance with me?" Sugar offered a hand.

"I don't dance, either."

She giggled. "You never tried!" Joey sighed and locked hands with her, with the peach still in his right hand. They twirled and danced through the forest.

 _Before you decide you must live by your fears_

 _Live by that overwhelming instinct_

 _Imagine a place heard only by your ears_

 _Where the dark and pain are extinct_

Sugar gasped when her foot stepped into a river. She giggled to ease the start in her heart and stepped back on land. "What's the matter? Can't swim?" Joey smirked.

"Physically, I can't. That part of my curse stuck with me." She blushed. "Can you swim?"

"Yeah, I can turn into fish."

"Would you swim for us?" Sugar asked with a cute smile.

"Er… okay." Somehow, Joey couldn't say 'no' to that twinkle in her eye. He stepped into the river and morphed into a fish, swimming with the current alongside others. There were glowing anemones on the riverbed, allowing Sugar to see and race after her friend. Her notes vibrated the current.

 _Imagine a place known to no one else_

 _Picture yourself… and slowly, you will get there_

 _A river has its hardships and trials_

Joey maneuvered around jagged rocks to stay with the current.

 _Just persevere… Have no fear…_

 _A brand new world you will knooooww…!_

Sugar stopped and gazed at the moonlit lake which the river led into. Joey transformed into a dolphin, and enjoyed the sound of Sugar's giggling. A sea creature had no business being in a forest lake, but then again, neither did anemones. It truly was a magical place. The dolphin swam to shore as Sugar bent down to pet him. "And let your nightmares goooo…"

After Joey turned back into a human, the two sat together with feet in the purifying water. They took turns eating parts of the same peach. "It's better than that noisy dungeon, I reckon." Joey said. "But let me ask you something, Sugar… if you killed as many people as I did, would you still be singing? Would you still feel like you were free?"

"I can't say for sure… I guess I would feel a tight pain in my chest. I would want to atone for my crimes. But if I ever wanted to relax my mind a little… I would come to a place like this and sing. And when I think about the friends I have… it feels even healthier."

"I haven't seen my old friends in years… I barely remember their faces."

"Can you remember my face?" Sugar turned to him.

"I'll probably have this song stuck in my head."

"Good!" she grinned. "If you feel upset, just hum my song to yourself. Ask the soldiers to bring you here once in a while. I'll always be here, Joey. Even when I'm not right next to you."

Joey raised a brow. "Does that mean you're… dead?"

"Hm hm hm! No, silly! But I'll still be watching over you."

 _No matter where you are, always knooooww…_

 _My voice will help your mind to grow…_

 _And you will let your nightmares… go…_

Joey grew drowsy and lay his head on Sugar's chest. She rubbed his arm and hugged him softly.

 **The _Noah_**

Nebula D. Winkiebottom heard Sugar's call from Planet Earth. She used her spacebending to warp Sugar off the miniaturized planet, appearing beside her on the platform at normal size. "You want to go to Symphonia now?" Nebula asked, curious by her request to come back.

"Yeah, in a minute." Sugar floated in the artificial space, passing the miniature planets until she was close to Earth. "Nebula, do you ever feel like we're the protective angels of these planets?"

"I'm the only one who's protecting them. Unless you want to sit and meditate here for hours and hours every day."

"True, but we all have a part in this. And we all have people we want to protect on these planets."

"Do you have someone to protect, Sugar?" Nebula raised a curious brow. "Are you anyone's 'protective angel'?"

"…I guess so." Sugar closed her eyes and hummed her song. "Hmm hmm hm hm hm, hmm hmm hmmmmm…"

Whenever Joey would revisit the forest, he would see her beautiful face in the sky. _"Hmm hmm hm hm hm, hmm hmm hmmmmm…"_ He slept peacefully knowing she was protecting him.

* * *

 **This is basically a character-development story for certain people, and we also get snippets of the Thirteen Darknesses (who don't wanna see friendships between those big baddies?). During that GUN scene, I based that off of _Arkham Knight_ , where you can see labeled prison cells of all the baddies Batman defeated. XD Since Joey is 20 years old, the only character that's actually close to him in age is Sugar, so I thought it'd be a cute pairing. See you guys for more.**


	2. Bitter Work

**As you might remember, not all the Firstborn were sealed away in Egg Chambers.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 2: Bitter Effort_**

 **Tree of Beginning**

The painted sky depicted mountains of white clouds, yet there was a large gap at the top to let the sun shine on the earth. After school was over, Anthony, Shelly, Tom Taylor, Emily, and Ikuyim signed up for a summer earthbending class, and were on their way to the first session. In any other case, Anthony would be reluctant to go to summer school while Emily would jump at the chance. The roles were reversed for this situation. "I don't wanna go to Earthbending Schoooool!" Emily moaned, slouching as she followed her classmates to the mountain range. "They were teaching seventh-grade maaaaath!"

" _The Guardians of Earth_ is among the most treasured and true stories in Minish Kingdom." Gedra responded, riding Tom's shoulder. "That makes you one of the most renowned humans the Minish know. You should be honored."

"I wanted to be honored for my I.Q., not for throwing around rocks!" Emily cried. "I didn't ask to be an earthbender, at the very least I wanted psychic powers!"

"SHUT THE HECK UP!" Anthony shouted harshly. "How are we gonna beat that English creep if you keep whining like a baby?! Woman up or I'll break your glasses in!"

Tom whistled. "You won't hear a 7-year-old say that ever again. That was more harsh than you, Ged."

"Is something bothering you, Anthony?" Ikuyim asked. "You sound more hard-boiled than my sister, and that's saying something!" She chuckled.

"I'm just tired of hearing her whine. She's starting to make _me_ look like a pro."

The class took place outside the wall of the Tree of Beginning. Shelly Johnson was already there, lying on the ground as she awaited the others impatiently. Once she felt them arrive, she stood up. The five students faced their teacher, a black-haired woman with metal armor and blank eyes. "Good morning, earthbending students."

"Hey, I know you!" Anthony beamed. "You're Toph Beifong from the Avatar Realms!"

"She certainly is!" Minish Queen Lánshelly was on Toph's shoulder. "Miss Beifong was the youngest and greatest human master in her world, so we thought she would be a great teacher to you."

"She's perfect at Seismic Sense, metalbending, AND sandbending!" Anthony recapped, putting a proud smile on Toph's face. "…But my mom's probably better." Anthony folded his arms.

Toph stomped and sunk Anthony into a hole up to his head. "That's because your mom probably taught you, 'It's okay if you fail, just get up and try again! You did great, you get a star for the day!' Well, failure isn't accepted in my class. If you want my respect, you have to earn it."

Anthony grumbled and helped himself out. "Alright, so class begins 8am sharp, but I can't tell what time it is, so I assume it's now. Let's do roll call: Anthony McKenzie?"

"Here." He rolled his eyes.

"Shelly Johnson?"

"Yo." Shelly answered lazily.

"Tom Taylor?"

"Never late."

"Emily Garley?"

"Unfortunately _not_ in the chemistry lab." She whined.

"Ikuyim Latser?"

"Here! And, heheh, it's Latsyrc."

"Good. I was told your names earlier, but for all I can see, you're probably fakes. Next item on the list is dresswear. Most of you seem ready for class." While Toph couldn't see their clothes, she only paid attention to their feet. "Except you, Garley. Lose the shoes."

"But I have unstable ankles and my skin is like paper!"

"That's what we're going to fix. OFF."

"Awwwww." Emily sadly took her shoes and socks off.

"Don't start, yet! Sorry I'm late!" The students turned to see Diancie hurriedly hopping over on her pointed rock bottom.

"Who is this?" Toph asked.

"Princess Diancie!" Lánshelly yelled. "You weren't supposed to be in this class."

"Why not? I'm an aspiring young earthbender, too!" Diancie argued.

"You're a freaking god!" Anthony stated. "You'll blow us out of the dirt!"

"Just because I'm good at earthbending doesn't mean I know how it works." The Firstborn furrowed her eyes. "I thought I was still your sister, Big Brother!"

"Look, I know you want to _try_ and act like you're still human, but you're still a showoff."

"You know what, I don't care, she's in." Toph decided.

"Miss Beifong-" Lánshelly tried to reason.

"One extra student doesn't matter, I'm still taking time outta my day to do this. Alright, so I've been told you all are fairly skilled in what you do." Toph put her hands on her hips. "If that's true, then we can skip basics and start with the real training."

"Er, just in case, I think we should go over basics." Emily said, sweating nervously. "J-Just so these guys can warm up, I mean **I** never need a tutorial… hehe."

"Or, you can show them how it's done!" With that, Toph stomped a giant spherical boulder out of the ground and crashed it inches from Emily, her heart almost stopping. "Without using a massive portion of chi, lift that boulder above your head."

"Uh… okay." Emily slowly and feebly bent down and stuck her hands under the boulder. "HUUR- ow, I feel a cringe in my elbow!"

"For the record, I can tell when people are lying." Toph mentioned. "And I certainly know when people have jittery legs. Let's see what the rest of you can do!" She stomped five more boulders for each student. "Use a chi outpour of about 20% in your hands and pick up the boulders."

"Haaaaaahhh, this is easy!" Tom Taylor successfully raised his boulder, enjoying the burn in his arms.

"Hnnnnnn…!" Anthony had more of a struggle lifting his boulder, but he managed to stay firm.

"HAH HA!" Shelly Johnson effortlessly hoisted her boulder. "You shrimps have such skinny spines!"

Ikuyim burrowed her left hand into her boulder and retrieved a small emerald. "I couldn't pick the rock up, but I found this!"

"Awwww! That's really beautiful." Toph smiled brightly.

"I know! It's amazing what gems you find-"

"TOO BAD I CAN'T SEE IT!" Toph smacked the emerald out of Ikuyim's hand. "All I feel is a rock made of glass. I told you to pick up a boulder, not open a jewel shop! Do it and show me that chi flow!"

"Yes, Ma'am." Ikuyim tried—and failed—to pick up the boulder with limited chi.

Toph held her arm for a second. "Mmm-hm." She went to feel Shelly's arm. "Mm-hm." She went to Anthony, who was squirming terribly from the stone's weight. Toph punched the boulder away from him. "Know when your arms are about to break." She examined Tom's. "Um, your boulder's melting."

"Oh!" Tom noticed the magma droplets dripping from the boulder. "'Guess I went too hot." He cooled the lava and set the distorted rock down.

"And last we have…?" Toph cocked a brow when Diancie was failing to lift her stone.

"Mmmmmmmm…!" Diancie seemed to pour every ounce of strength in her baby arms. Such a task was impossible for someone her size. But when Toph knelt down to feel her chi flow, she determined, "You're not even using one percent."

"Heh heh." Diancie blushed. "I guess precise earthbending is more hard than I thought."

"Hmm… I can't feel a heart rate in your body." Toph said. "But even I know that's a lie. Not putting adequate effort in your assignment, that gets you an 'F'!" She stomped a stone from the ground, shaped like said letter. "Take it home and show your parents."

"Sigh…" Diancie frowned.

"Not controlling your temperature and ruining your assignment, that's an 'F'!" Toph stomped one for Tom. "Goofing off instead of completing your assignment, 'F'!" One for Ikuyim.

The Negative happily picked it up and said, "My first grade for an earthbending class! I can't wait to show my parents!"

"I guess we know who passed _this_ course." Shelly was still holding her boulder proudly.

"Shelly, I'm feeling a greater outpour of chi from you." Toph stated. "The assignment is supposed to teach you how to do a simple task using limited chi, so that you don't waste it all pointlessly. You get an 'F', too!"

The letter sprouted by Shelly's left foot. She furiously stomped it into sand. Her boulder disintegrated as she was covered in sand. "And of course, not willing to admit your faults, is an 'F'." Toph stomped one for Emily. The scientist was on the verge of crying. It was the most tragic time of her life.

"And what do _I_ get, Sensei Toph?" Anthony asked smugly.

"You, Anthony, get a 'D' for your efforts. You demonstrated good control of your outpour, but you seemed a little unbalanced. And it's _Sifu_ Toph."

"Maybe that's because a 10-ton boulder was over my head and I wasn't allowed to use all my strength!"

"Boulders are big, lifeless rocks with no intelligence, you shouldn't HAVE to use all your strength."

"On the contrary, Toph," Diancie spoke with a thoughtful smile, "rocks have as much voice as do the plants. I can hear them speaking every day! Hehe, some of them get tickled by all the worms and gophers-"

"You can't use one percent of chi, now you're suddenly an expert on earthbending. If you're going to listen for earth, you should do it when enemies are sneaking up or when giant rocks are coming your way. For now, our next exercise is using our brains."

"BOOYEAH!" Emily jumped for joy.

Toph stomped six more boulders up several feet away in a straight line. "All people possess Psychic Chi in their brains, but benders have greater access to it. Psychicbenders can control Psychic Chi in its purest form, but we earthbenders can telekinetically control our element by sending chi to our very minds. Stand completely still and use your minds to move your boulder."

"Yes! I read a psychicbending book in the hopes that I was one." Emily narrowed her eyes on the boulder. "Surely, the same rules will apply."

Everyone was intently focused on their boulders. They were trying to resist lifting even a finger, but bending without movement was stressful on the mind. …Emily's rolled forward and back. "Holy cow! I did it!"

"Don't lose focus!" Toph smiled approvingly.

An aggravated Shelly lightly tapped her foot to nudge her rock forward. Toph immediately caught that foot in a rock trap. "I felt that, Tappy Toes!" Toph focused on Ikuyim next. Though she couldn't see, the white-haired was smiling and her forehead was not bulging, but to Toph she felt light and still. "What are you doing, Ikuyim?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm imagining the boulder has wings and can fly!"

"Great, we have TWO wannabe psychicbenders, but guess what? YOU AREN'T ONE!" Toph looked to Diancie, whose brows seemed to be bulging from her intense focus. "…You are literally not trying." Toph knew. Diancie bowed her head in shame. She felt that Anthony's boulder was lightly twitching from his focused chi. "Again, good effort, Anthony. But I still feel like something is holding you-"

 ** _BOOM! ! !_** Tom Taylor's rock exploded into flaming chunks. Toph stomped shields up to protect her students. Minish were running and screaming as their forest of grass was set aflame, so Toph took care to smash those fires under flat rocks.

"…Well-p, I can make rocks explode with my mind!" Tom perked up. "Learn something new every day."

"This is why Sovite was considered the most dangerous." Lánshelly commented.

"Sigh…" Toph stomped their grades up all at once: 'F' for Shelly, Diancie, and Ikuyim, 'C' for Anthony, 'D' for Tom, and 'B' for Emily.

"This day gets worse and worse." Emily wept.

"Our next test will be more creative." Toph explained. "First, we need a sand pit. Any good sand pits around here?"

"Ditto." Shelly stomped and broke a wide area of ground into sand.

"Perfect. Your task is to focus your chi around the sand and create a miniature environment or statues. Everyone pick a spot of sand and work."

Shelly smirked and slid her foot along the sand to get a good feel. She then stomped and created a miniature Gallagher Elementary with all its students bowing her direction. Toph came by and smiled at the masterpiece. "You and I share a similar vision, Shelly."

"I would squish them, but it'd ruin the assignment." ;)

Ikuyim bent sand into the shapes of gems like a diamond, ruby, sapphire, and three crystals. "Aren't they pretty!" She grinned.

"Um, not bad, but without any color, they still look like sand shaped into rocks."

"That's why you have to use imagination, silly!"

"Why don't I just imagine grass is red and your eyes are rectangular? 'Cause for all I KNOW, they ARE!"

Next, Toph felt Emily shuddering and wiggling her toes nervously in the sand. "Sigh, what is wrong NOW, Emily?"

"A few years ago, I went to the beach and these kids made fun of my abnormally large feet. This sandy environment is rekindling those bad memories."

"Alright, you get an 'F' for not feeling pride in your appearance."

"Hmmm, hmmm, hmmmm…" Diancie hummed a merry tune as she was trying to build a mini sand sculpture of Stone with her bare hands. Toph came up and shook her head in disapproval.

"Diancie, it's not even funny anymore. It wasn't funny to begin with. Either you bend honestly or get out of my class."

Diancie sighed, and with a small usage of chi, she created sand sculptures of Granite, Sovite, Quartzite, Hornfels, Latsyrc, and Stone, animating them as they stomped and kicked sand rocks out of the ground. "She used to show off all the time with me, I don't know what her problem is." Anthony stated.

"I can say the same about you." Toph remarked. "What do you have to show me?"

Anthony calmed himself and refocused his flow of chi into the sand. He stomped and made mini sand sculptures of all the primary KND sectors. They dissolved after a few seconds. "Hmmm… Good job, kid. And with no need to check Taylor's…" Behind her, Tom's area was already a lava pit.

"All the grains I try to bend just turn into lava!" he complained.

"This is _not_ how I wanted to spend the post-Apocalypse." Toph stomped their rock-shaped grades out of the ground: Tom and Emily 'F', Diancie 'A+', Shelly 'A', Ikuyim 'C', Anthony 'B'.

The students were lined up as Toph paced before them. "Well, we've had three assignments so far, and what I can determine is: each of you has issues. EMILY!" She quaked the ground and whipped toward the scientist, who yelped in fright. "You're the most glass-boned earthbender I met since Aang! You're wimpy AND you're spineless."

"That's why I have brains! What we need is a good mental catalyst. Perhaps we'll train better by singing a song! Like… _Left foot, right foot, put your whole body in-"_

"If you wanna learn sing-and-dance, go to Airbending School. IKUYIM!"

"Present!" she saluted.

"Imagination is good when it actually helps. You're not going to win any battles by pretending your gem has a sword that cuts through anything. You need to make your rock sharp and cut through the baddies yourself. Tom!"

She kicked a rock to the older boy, who punched it into lava. "Ouch!" A drop singed him.

"The queen told me you were red-skinned. I guess you spent so long catching tans that you don't know any other temperature. Diancie, you seem to be under the impression you're a human and are therefore flawed like a human. Well, guess what? You're a god. Your powers are beyond our understanding and your level is higher than we'll ever climb to. You can make yourself think you're one of us by attending a class, but the fact is this lesson is beyond you."

"I know…" Diancie frowned.

"Anthony, something clearly has you unfocused. You seem like you have the potential, but not the mentality. And Shelly, while I was impressed with your Sand Art demonstration, you kind of like to cheat."

"Why is that a bad thing?" Shelly questioned. "In a real battle, we fight to win, so we would use the best strategy to win. When are those crummy instructions gonna matter?"

"You know what, I agree." Anthony stated. "I'm good enough to lift or move a boulder WITHOUT using my brain. I thought we were moving PAST basics, I thought we were gonna learn hardcore earthbending, how do you expect us to beat that monster with lousy SAND ART?!"

"I assume you're referring to Lord English." Toph replied, having been told of the Lord of Time. "Look, kids, I was brought here to help improve your earthbending. Even if you won't use psychic earthbending or 20% of your chi in a real battle, these exercises will help strengthen you altogether. But if the stories about that English guy are true… then you can't expect me to make you that strong. And frankly, I don't wanna waste strength trying to. You kids will probably kill yourselves trying to match his power."

"Then this really _is_ a waste of time." Anthony walked away. "Mom was wrong about you…"

"Anthony, wait." Diancie bounced after him.

"Well, this was bound to happen." Toph said. "Hokay, break time, you four. I'm gonna talk to him."

Anthony fell on his back in a random patch of grass, staring at the painted sky. Diancie laid beside him. "Why don't you float?" Anthony asked. "I know you can do that."

"I guess I prefer being on the ground. …I know what you're thinking, Anthony. If I was such a showoff when I was human, why does becoming a god change that?"

"Uh-huh. So obvious, I'm not even gonna make a joke."

"I don't know why I did… Maybe having a character flaw like that helped convince people I was human. I'm only happy when I'm human or mortal… Being a 'Firstborn' was just misery. Forced to hide, sensing death every few seconds… Anthony, you're lucky to be flawed."

"No I'm not, Michelle. If I did have powers like yours… I _would_ have a chance at beating him. If Cheren is willing to become a god just to protect us… why shouldn't I?"

"Talk about overdoing it." The two sat up and turned to Toph Beifong. "Anthony, what's really bothering you? Did Lord English… kill your mom?"

"No." Diancie answered. "She jumped on the ship before English turned his sights on her."

"But he did kill Cheren's mom." Anthony spoke darkly. "You weren't there, Toph. He killed Mrs. Drilovsky without even lifting a finger. He could end all of us right now. What are we to him? Easy bait, that's what. And when Mom started throwing rocks at him, I thought for sure… she was gonna…" Tears leaked.

"It sounds like something you need to talk to your mom about." Toph reasoned. "Otherwise, you won't be able to focus. Talk about it as soon as you get home."

"Yeah… I guess I should."

"You going to be able to go the rest of the day?"

"I guess so…"

"Just be happy that Mom is still alive, Anthony." Diancie said comfortingly. "She'll be waiting for you with a smile!"

"Hehe… yeah." Anthony smiled.

 **McKenzie Household, later that day**

Anthony's sectormates picked him up on the S.C.A.M.P.E.R. and dropped him and Diancie off at their house. His mother was napping in the front yard, entranced by the Earth's breath. She awoke when she felt Anthony's footsteps. "Hello, Anthony! How was your first day of class? Is Toph a fun teacher?"

"Y-Yeah. Mom, I need to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"W-Well… when you fought Lord English, did you think you were gonna die?"

She felt the worried tone in his voice. "I…I didn't really think about it at the time. To be honest, I was only hoping you got on the ship. I guess if Arceus hadn't intervened…"

"Please don't die, Mom!" Anthony cried and hugged Angie close. "I don't think… sniff, I don't think I can make it without you!"

"Anthony…" Angie softly patted his head and let him cry into her chest. "It's okay, sweetie. I promise to be around as long as you need me. Don't worry."

"Sniff…" He pulled himself away. "Do you think… it's possible to beat him?"

"I'm positive there's a way. Every being has limits, Anthony. If our planet is safe from him in this space tunnel, then he really isn't all-powerful. And don't forget, everyone else is probably going through what you are. They're worried, too. But you'll be fighting together. As long as you and Michelle have your friends, even Time is no match."

"But you saw what he did to the other moms. How are we gonna fight someone who can kill you on the spot?"

"I may not know the answer… but if things were really easy for Lord English, he wouldn't need accomplices, would he?"

"You mean the…the Thirteen Darknesses?"

"Remember how to fight, Anthony: look for the opponent's weakness and steadily mow it down."

"Yeah…" The impossible situation appeared to be easy now in Anthony's mind.

 **Tree of Beginning, the next day**

"This item is the Sun Chi Lantern." Diancie hung a large, brown lantern on a stone branch sticking from the outer wall. "We found it in the castle on Mariejoa. In the past, the Earth Children used the lantern to take each other's chis and use them to develop their own. Once we make a good bond with one-another, we can use the lantern as well."

"It still feels kinda pointless." Shelly commented. "If one of us takes the others' chi in a real battle, that'll leave the others powerless."

"Maybe, but what it comes down to is which of you will be the strongest." Toph reasoned. "That same person will have to be skillful and trustworthy. Then if the need arises, they'll be the most worthy to use all of your chis."

"For now, it's up to us to get as strong as we can." Anthony declared. "We won't be able to fight Lord English by ourselves, but taking out his lackeys will give us an advantage. And we'll only have to focus on one. Hopefully, the rest of the KND will be ready to fight the other ones."

"Six of us against one person seems like overkill." Tom said.

"Unless this one person is part of the Thirteen Darknesses." Emily affirmed, recalling the villains' immense Power Levels.

"Then let's start training." Anthony fist-pumped. "Because the one we're taking down is that Diamond lady!"

 ** _King Dutchman_**

Lord English was enjoying a delicious meal. A meal of fear in millions of voices. He could hear them talk about him… he could hear them think about him… They were afraid… and every thought of him made him stronger.

* * *

 **We met Lin Beifong in 2012, so can you believe we're just now meeting Adult Toph? :P**


	3. Sparring Partner

**Everybody has a rival. Has an equal.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 3: Sparring Partner_**

 ** _King Dutchman_** (Play "Meanwhile at the Prison Ship" from _Rayman 2_.)

MEANWHILE AT THE LEGION OF DOOM- I mean, the _King Dutchman_ , the members of The Thirteen were gathered in what would be known as the Portal Chamber. Dimentio Z. Winkiebottom had stretched his height and width so everyone could see the portal in his body. "My friends, with Lord English's generous donation of power, I am now one with the multiverse. The equipment for the Multiverse Portal is active in my own Logia dimension, enabling my body to transport you all to the marvelous universes that await. Oh! I feel a denizen from the worlds being slurped up through my tunnel already."

His portal spiraled and shined, and the creature to come out was a skinny robot with a large mouth of sharp teeth. _"WHAT?! Where am I?! I was swallowed by a strange light and all of a sudden…"_

"Future English was kind enough to lend me this dimensional guidebook." Bill snapped a small book out of thin air. "This creature is called an Akuma. It comes from Dimension Black. They are creations of the Millennium Earl and enemies of the Exorcists. An Akuma is composed of two human souls. Thanos, try to control it."

The Mad Titan used the Soul Stone of his gauntlet. _"Aaaack!"_ The robot bowed to him.

"It certainly looks like no Akuma I'm familiar with." Aizen commented.

"Nearly every universe has demons." Bill replied. "Many of them are different."

"As long as they're demons, I think we'll get along." Ganon smirked.

"When I was recruited," Giovanni spoke up, "I was promised more Pokémon than I could ever have imagined."

"One of my multiverses is the Original World of the Pokémon." Dimentio informed. "We intend to capture thousands to include in our army using the Perma-Mega Evolution Potion. Uh-oh, something else is coming!"

A huge black elephant with a skull face flew out and crushed the Akuma. "That is called a Grimm." Bill read the guidebook. "From Dimension Remnant, they are dark spirits who feed off of darkness and negative emotions."

"Intriguing." Xehanort stroked his beard. "I would like to visit this 'Remnant.'"

"Of course, Xehanort! You all will have picks of universes. Spread your reign to each and every corner and keep acquiring followers. And if there's any rebellion, by all means, destroy them!" Bill smirked demonically. (End song.)

 **Washington; KND Newbase**

Now that Moonbase was destroyed, the Sooper Convention Center became the new primary headquarters for Global Command. It was restless as the building was constantly quaking under Maddy and Sheila's exchanged blows. The Sunny Fist was still unsatisfied with her inferior Power Level, so she would often come to challenge Maddy, Sun Fist vs. Iron Fist. Every blow they exchanged sent vibrations in the air, if they didn't have the outside stadium to settle their squabble, the interior of the skyscraper treehouse would be in shambles. The scary part is Haki was supposed to penetrate elemental defenses, so if Sheila was this enduring, imagine if _she_ learned Haki.

They fought for 20 minutes until they started panting, their clothes drenched in sweat. "Huff…huff… break time?" Maddy gasped, her Haki Fury dissipating.

"Heff…heff… Parley." Sheila's Midas Body faded.

Maddy got a soda from the Newbase lounge while Sheila drank Flurp. "As soon as I get through with you, I'm goin' after that giant chick." Sheila stated.

"Good luck, Sheila. Mocha's been spending a lot of time in Amazonia. She'll be a monster by the time this voyage is over."

"In that case, she'll fit right in with us." Chris Uno said from the couch.

"Oh, Chris! I didn't see you there." Maddy replied. They were facing the back of the couch as Chris was lain down.

"Yah." He drank a soda. "Figured if you and Sheila get out of hand, you'd need someone to stop you."

Maddy felt a droll tone in his voice. She knew he must've been struck by the loss of his mother. With his father already dead, Chris's siblings were orphans now. Even his mentor, Fanny Drilovsky, was killed by Lord English. "Are you doing okay, Chris?"

"I'm fine. I'm not letting my folks' death get to me if that's what you're thinking. I have a training regimen going on, gonna have to keep at it if I wanna be at Cheren's level. 'Course, I bet you girls will get there in no time flat."

"The gold flames are pretty catchy, eh?" Sheila smirked.

"I'll stick to black. Hey Chris, you wanna spar sometime?" Maddy asked.

"Nah." Chris got up and passed them a cool smile. "Wouldn't wanna hurt ya, Mads. Come on, Sheila, let's go home." He walked ahead.

"…He wasn't wearing his headband." Maddy noticed.

"Yeh, he don't use it much, anymore. Maybe because everyone knows it now. Well, see ya down the ocean, mate." Sheila followed Chris.

 _But somebody knew it first…_ Maddy remembered.

 **King Household**

George King's head was still recovering, so he wore a purple hat to hide the bandages. Because of this injury he didn't even understand, he had very limited use of his timebending, for it had to do with Chi Overload. Whenever he wasn't on KND duty, he was playing videogames. "George, you have a visitor." He looked to his mother, who was standing by Maddy.

"What's the occasion?"

"It's about Chris." Maddy sat beside him on the couch. Misty left them alone. "He said you knew about his Combustion Eye."

"Oh… Yes, I knew about it."

"Why did he show you?"

"I don't even remember. But if I had to guess, it has something to do with this mess." George lifted his hat up. "Freakin' 8-ball whatever thingy was on my head? Dad actually thought I could control it?! Sigh, but I guess it's better I had it than that English freak."

"Well, did Chris tell you anything about his Combustion Eye?"

"Let's see…" George scratched his head. "(Ouch, Mom said I shouldn't do that.) Um, I think Chris said his father told him it was inherited from Malladus. Malladus was the original combustionbender and his lingering spirit could grant the power to mortals. Heh, I asked my dad about it once—without mentioning Chris—and he said combustionbenders have a habit of dying suddenly."

"Dying suddenly?!"

"You know, because they explode their selves in some way. Pretty scary, right?"

"Doesn't that make you a bit worried for him?"

"Well, hearing it out loud… But he's Chris, he's an awesome fighter! Besides, he covers it up most of the time."

"Not lately. I wanna see what Chris is up to." Maddy got up.

"I can tell you what he's up to." MaKayla said from the doorway, holding the Chrono Staff. "He'll return to his house shortly."

 **Underworld; Castle Hell**

Death the Kid led Chris to an underground chamber of the castle. Chris sat in the middle of a circle of candles and closed his eyes. "Are you sure you want to keep doing this?" Kid asked. "You know I'll have to detain you if you lose."

"Hey, if my dad can do it, so can I."

"So be it." Kid raised the Reaper's Scythe as it flashed.

In his Subconscious, Chris was in a fiery cavern, facing up at the towering entity that was Malladus Uno. _"You've returned, my descendant. I thought for certain you would be tired by now."_

"I'm just taking a few naps." Chris smirked. "I have a universe to save, man. I can't go down now."

 _"Such bravery. You still remember the rules, I'm sure?"_

"Yeah yeah." If Chris won, he gets Malladus's power. If Malladus wins, he gets Chris's body. Chris is allowed to call a draw and leave. "Let's fight!"

He shot a quick Combustion Beam at Malladus, but the Demon King took the hit to the face before punching Comet Fists. Chris flew with Rocket Boost and evaded the punches before shooting to Malladus's third eye. He punched the eye with fire fists and flew circles when Malladus launched his own Combustion Beam. Chris was lightly singed by the beam and fell to the ground, giving Malladus a chance to stomp him. Chris hopped up and entered Combustion Fury, flying high above Malladus to shoot a giant beam.

Malladus countered with combustionbending, the center of both beams growing bright as a sun. When the sun exploded and blew either opponent back, Chris hit the ground again, his Fury fading. His head aching, he looked up weakly as Malladus stomped forth. "Ugh… I… call a draw."

Malladus stopped, smirking victoriously. _"That was worse than last time. Keep fighting, boy. Your passion ignites your fire… and it ignites **me**."_

The flames turned to steam, and Chris fell back on the floor in his real body, panting. "You're too young to defeat the Malladus spirit inside you." Kid told him. "I strongly urge you to cease."

"Not gonna happen, Kid." Chris helped himself up and turned to leave. "You know as well as I do… we can't rest for even a second."

 **Uno Household**

The sun was setting beyond the horizon, and the painted sky possessed a solid orange-to-indigo gradient. Chris sighed when he stared at the sky from his front yard. "Nothing is the same, anymore." He could smell food cooking and knew it came from the Drilovsky house. Panini was making soup for her father, assuming most of the housewife duties now that her mother was gone. Since Patton lost an arm to Lord English, life was a chore for them now. It would be even worse if they didn't have treehouse bases, especially for the Unos.

Chris entered his house. "Chris!" He was surprised to see Maddy and Kayla have paid him a visit.

"Maddy? Why are you two here?"

"The Chrono Staff sensed you were in the Underworld." MaKayla explained. "You were in a meditative trance."

"Is that the training regimen you were talking about?" Maddy asked. "What exactly are you doing?"

"I feel a spiritual presence radiating from you as well. A dark one…"

Chris sighed in defeat, figuring they would learn eventually. "I've been talking to Malladus."

"Malladus?"

"My dad once told me that members of my family are born with Malladus's conscience inside us. Each time a descendant is born, the parents pass part of the soul inside them. Basically, Malladus is broken into little pieces. Those pieces can't actually do anything unless we talk to them. If we challenge the Malladus soul to a fight, we can get more of his power. That's what my dad did. He said he didn't want me trying it, though, that's another reason he wanted me to hide the Combustion Eye. But when I've been going Fury Mode, I started hearing Malladus."

"So you went to Kid to help you speak to Malladus?" Kayla deduced.

"But why are you doing this, Chris?" Maddy followed.

"The same reason you learned Haki, Mads. The same reason Cheren learned God Tier. Because after these three years are over, we'll have to fight the Thirteen Darknesses and that monster Lord English."

"And this is going to help?"

"It might not." Kayla answered for her, closing her eyes while her Chrono Staff glowed. "I see Malladus taking over Chris's body."

"What?! Chris, I don't think this is a good idea!"

"MaKayla's just being crazy, Maddy." Chris said surely. "Malladus isn't gonna control me."

"I don't think you should take a chance with it."

"Why not? We already agreed that we weren't just kids, anymore, we were monsters. We're monsters going up against even bigger monsters. Do you know what Malladus said when I first talked to him? He said even he didn't like that monster. Lord English. That's why I know he'll cooperate eventually, with just a few more punches."

"Why doesn't he just cooperate with you now?"

"Heh, he'll always be Malladus." Chris coughed a chortle. "But as long as we beat English, then I'll compromise."

"What does that mean?! You'd let Malladus burn your humanity just to beat English?!"

"Don't YOU want to beat English?"

"Not by signing away my soul!"

"Maddy, I already said I'm not gonna let him beat me. I'll take his powers and use them to protect everyone."

"Even if you did win, and we defeated English… what about after that? You wouldn't be the same, anymore. Nothing would be a challenge to you, anymore. Because you're too powerful."

"Cheren already made that decision, didn't he? It won't matter if we get to live like normal people. Defeating English is all that matters. We'll sacrifice our humanity if it means giving everyone else a chance to see the future."

"I don't think we need to be that powerful. Didn't Fybi's dad beat Bowser when he was only five years old? And at Mariejoa, Nagisa was able to knock out that World Leader, and he didn't even have powers like that magic girl."

"What about when Nya shrunk us? If Shade didn't turn out to be your secret protector, she could've finished you. All those instances were pure luck. We can't assume some _random_ convenience is going to help us beat the Darknesses. We have to _assume_ they're powerful and _assume_ we have to be as strong as possible in order to face them."

"But isn't that why the Firstborn Guardians put the Firstborn in those Egg thingies?! Maybe the Malladus power-up won't even work! Maybe the Firstborn is the only answer!"

"If that's what you think, maybe you and Sheila should quit sparring."

"Ugh! Chris, I just…I just don't wanna lose you. When we get to the New World, I wanna fight Lord English with you, not with… Malladus."

"Sigh…" Chris glanced at MaKayla. "What do you think, New Clockwork?"

"Honestly, I don't know. The Chrono Staff isn't showing me much. But as far as Chris's reasons, I…I wonder if he may be right. His father and mine were powerful, and they still lost."

"Maddy, you were willing to become the Seventh Light at the risk of losing who you were." Chris reminded. "How is this any different?"

"I don't know… I guess I didn't see any way around it."

"In the end, it turned out to be a hoax." Chris laughed. "I'd like to think this is all a trick… but it's not. We're on a shrunken planet with a fake sky. I know my dad liked to be reckless and lucky… but it can't last forever."

"Chris… just promise me you'll stay who you are." Maddy said. "Even if we become monsters… we're human at heart."

"…I will, Maddy." Chris smiled.

"So… are you going to challenge Malladus again?"

"Maybe tomorrow. I wanna sleep first." He slipped off his boots and headed upstairs. "You girls should head home, too."

"…He and Cheren have that in common." MaKayla noted. "Still, Cheren's fire burned with more love and passion. Chris just seems… determined. That's the good way of putting it, at least."

"Did you really see him losing to Malladus?"

"I can't tell if the staff is showing me the future or a possible future. But I do feel his soul dwindling."

 **Chris's Subconscious**

Chris returned to the fiery domain and faced up at his ancestor. _"Did you sleep well, boy?"_

"Better than you." Chris snapped.

 _"What a touching moment between you and the girl. Going through so much just to be able to 'protect' everyone."_ Malladus leaned closer. _"Admit it, boy. Protecting your friends is second nature. You want to **FIGHT**! You **CRAVE** fighting! You want to challenge the most powerful beings and tear them all down until you're at the top! After you destroy Lord English, you wish to challenge all the friends that helped you. Cheren… Anthony… even Maddy."_

"For now, I just wanna fight YOU!"

 _"So be it!"_ Malladus blasted a Combustion Beam, and Chris outran it by gliding with Rocket Boost along the ground. He flew a circle and shot a Combustion Beam at the demon's feet, but Malladus leapt to the ceiling, set his feet on fire, and erupted a flaming shockwave upon landing. Chris caught some of the fire to make it surround himself, flying around as a comet before hitting the back of Malladus' head. Malladus whipped around in attempt to smack him, his hand swiping across and dispersing the flame shield.

Chris spun around with fists on fire, flying around as a flaming wheel and aiming to chop off Malladus's tail. The tail suddenly whipped to life and wrapped around Chris, squeezing the life out of him. _"You thought my tail was just a dead limb?"_

"Nnnnn…!" Chris felt like his insides would explode. "D…D…Draw!"

 _"Predictable human."_ Malladus released. _"Let me ask you, Chris… will Lord English accept a draw? No. He would destroy you the moment your weakness showed. Not like me, the generous Demon King. The only way to survive is to keep fighting."_

"I will keep fighting! Just not right now."

 _"You do not have to keep coming to the Underworld to challenge me. I am always inside you, Chris. All you need to do is speak to me. You and me, like your brethren, are one. Aren't we… Chris?"_

Chris shot a glare at him. Malladus knew he didn't approve of him using that reference. The boy woke himself up on the bed in his room. He already knew he didn't have to return to the castle. It was now morning, and he had spent his night in another hopeless battle. "Mmm…" He put a hand to his third eye. Even it felt sleepy.

 **KND Graveyard** (Play "I Need Some Sleep" by Eels.)

Chris Uno stared at the grave that belonged to his father. Nigel Uno was lain to rest in a row with Rachel Uno, Fanny Drilovsky, Mikaela Chariton, Kuki Beatles, and Jagar King. He looked a few rows over: Nolan York was visiting the graves of Dillon Simmons and Corey Sanderson, even knowing they had graves in their hometowns. Chris gave a light sigh and faced up at the cloudy sky.

 **KND Newbase**

Maddy was at Newbase early in the morning. With very little decommissioning duties in recent days, all she had to do was walk around and make sure everyone was happy. With school done for the summer, many operatives spent their time here. Some were chatting and watching TV with sector pen-pals, others were in the stadium, training for the upcoming battles.

Maddy studied everyone's matches from a stadium entrance. The sun hadn't come over the stadium walls yet, so they fought under a dim sky. Nagisa held a rubber knife in his teeth as he nimbly evaded Morgiana's kicks, trying to counter with punches. Nagisa's blue eyes glimmered unusually bright in the dim morning shade.

Jinta was seemingly throwing punches at nothing, but Maddy could see the tiny fly that was Ururu buzzing around and hitting Jinta when he was open. Even Arianna Dunfree was trying to snatch Vweeb in vines, proudly taking hits from the swift Kateenian. Melody Jackson and Chimney were in battle, with the latter using Melody's water against her. Ruby and Diwata Uno were up on the stadium walls, so their furious fires wouldn't disturb any of the others. Carol Masterson was intently focused on a DS, mashing buttons quickly. In reality, Vanellope had entered her game and Carol was throwing all manner of attacks at the Program.

Maddy looked across the stadium and saw Chris leaning in the opposite doorway. She could feel him staring at her, too. He closed his eyes and bowed his tired head. "Hey, Maddy!" a voice yelled behind her.

She turned around. "Hi, Mocha!"

"You wanna battle?" Mocha smirked, balling fists. "I won't hold back this time! I wanna be ready to FIGHT those Darknesses!"

"Yaaawn… I'm still kinda tired. Wanna fight later?"

"Okay, but don't wait too long! I'm challenging Chrysundra later and I need a good warm-up!" She flexed her muscles.

Maddy passed her a smile before returning to the living room. She saw Artie and Makava talking, Apis and Index reading the Bible, Kodama and Quill Ramsey talking, Kirie and Sally, Lola and Haruka… It was perfectly peaceful in here without all those powerhouses.

"I was too scared to come up and see the Apocalypse." Eric Horvitz told Larry MayHence. "Just decided to stay on Earth."

"Me, too. I don't think we would've helped much, anyway. Did you hear about Lord English?"

"Who hasn't? I heard he killed Mrs. Drilovsky by looking her in the eye."

"Is it really safe to be living on shrunken planets with him out there?"

"I don't know. But the second I see Lord English for real, I'm jumping behind Melody. I don't care if it's cowardly, she's way stronger than me."

"Yeah, I'll take the life of a desk jockey any day."

Maddy saw Panini Drilovsky by herself in a corner, drinking soda. She approached the rabbit-earred girl. "I'm surprised you're not up there fighting anyone."

"Ay've got no one to spar with." Panini said with a reflective smile. "Cheren doesn't need a meek rival like me, anymore. Even if I tried, I don't think I can get up to your level. It's easier to just stay out of the way and let you guys fight the Darknesses."

"Is that how these other guys feel?"

"Pretty much. They know what's at stake, but they know they aren't the powerhouses. They know when they're no match. But some of them are determined. The Triplets are still honing their skills, might come in handy some day."

"Not everyone can be monsters." Chris's voice spoke. Maddy turned to face him.

"Chris… You're wearing your headband."

"Yeah…" Chris glanced at the red band on his forehead. "Thought it needed some rest. I need someone new to spar with. …You want to?"

"…Sure, but I kinda promised Mocha…"

"Ah, Mocha can have Sheila. It's no fun if we don't change things up."

"Hehe! I guess not." The duo walked to the stadium to join the sparring party.

At Tree of Beginning, Anthony kicked a boulder to Shelly, who broke it into sand and wrapped it around him. "Don't feel special, twerp! You're only the second big-tooth loser I had the pleasure of stomping." Shelly taunted.

At Arctic Base, three new recruits were introducing their selves. "My name's Mary!" The blonde-haired painting girl saluted. "I'm from Germany and I love to color crayons!"

"I'm Ib." The red-eyed girl bowed. "I'm from Germany also."

"My name is Wendy Marvell!" The blue-haired girl proclaimed with an enthusiastic smile. "I'm a wizard-in-training!"

"Good." Marcus nodded. "What about the rest of you?"

The cadets behind the three girls were all giant children that were former captives at Punk Hazard. "Eeek!" Wendy yelped. "I think we came a little under-prepared!"

Even above all the tiny planets, two gods were facing off on the _Noah_ 's deck. "You really think you can challenge me?" Nebula asked Cheren with a chuckle. "With a snap of my finger, I can make you the size of an atom."

"I'm sure you would've done that a long time ago." Cheren smirked, entering God Tier.

"Hm hm hm… but this time, I have planets to protect."

 _"That's how you see me?"_ Malladus inquired. _"A sparring partner?"_

"Why not?" Chris replied. "We are on the same team. We're against the same enemy."

 _"But you are a mere mortal."_

"Not just any mortal. I'm an Uno. You wouldn't have stayed with us if you didn't need us. Even if you took my body, you would still work with my friends to save the universe you want to rule. As long as you're part of me, you're part of the KND as well. I can't fight you as an enemy… I need to fight you as a partner."

Malladus grinned humorously. _"You consider yourself my rival? My equal?"_

"Well, we both like fighting. Don't we?"

Malladus narrowed his eyes. _"A different view on our battle… will only lead to the same outcome."_

"Then let's spar!"


	4. The Flower Field

**I have been super stressed lately, you have no idea. The only solace I can find is writing, but I don't have the energy to write anything. Speaking of which, _Seven Lights: The Last_ won't be posted until December. Don't expect much of me from this story, but good things to those who wait…**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 4: The Flower Field_**

 **Planet Flora; Flower Field**

The Flower Field was a vast, open country where flowers of every variety blossomed. It was always summer and there were few trees. There were creatures called Bub-ulbs, a sentient race of flowers with faces on their large bulbs and feet, as well as larger flowers with faces. Multiple rivers flowed across the fields, originating from a gigantic fountain with a rainbow. The water was so pure, it seemed like it could make one live forever from a single drink.

"The last thing I wanted to do in the Floran War was bring the conflict here." Viridi told the hundreds of operatives behind her. "I certainly never wanted to bring you horrible monsters here."

"But the Flower Field is a wonderful place!" Arianna twirled. "There's so much love and happiness in the air!"

"There certainly is." Cheren smiled. "That's why me and Nebula thought this was the perfect place for everyone to have a mini vacation. It feels like all we've been doing all summer is training. We deserve some cool-down time."

"He's right." Anthony agreed. "You have no idea how brutal Toph is."

"Let's lay some ground rules first." Viridi stated. "No shoes for one thing. …Actually, you aren't supposed to wear clothes in general, but since humans can't stand to see each other naked, I'll let it slide. No kicking flowers, but picking them or lying in them is okay, just make sure they aren't sentient. No loud noises, no defecating in the river, and no outside snacks or littering. I'll take that sucker off your hands, Mr. Fizzuras." She whipped a vine over to snatch Augustus's buhmillionth lollipop.

"Ugh." Augustus scoffed, removing his shoes, as did the Baby Trio. "I can't believe my mom's making me hang with you KNDorks."

"Interestingly, the Mushroom Kingdom has its own Flower Field." Goombella noted. "I oughta take you guys to visit. Since Nebula DID include my homeworld with the shrunken planets."

"Anyway, that's all I have to say." Viridi said. "Just ditch your footwear and enjoy the Flower Field."

Sector W explored a region of smaller flowers as they picked some to weave crowns. "I feel bad for all those other Firstborn trapped in the Egg Chambers." Diancie said as she put on her woven crown. "As someone who was trapped in a dark place for millions of years, I can tell you it gets lonely."

"I bet it does…" Harvey replied, staring close at a pink flower. …In the far distance beyond the flower, he noticed Sector RZ. Diwata was holding an umbrella for her Firstborn. "Hey, Diancie… you ever talk to Crest?"

"Hm?" Diancie looked their direction. "I don't believe I have. Knowing we're the newest Firstborn, it's weird that we haven't."

"You two should talk. You are the only Firstborn in the universe at the moment."

"Hm hm, when you put it like that… Okay, I'll talk to him."

Elsewhere, the Marzipan Pirates were lain down, growing sleepy in the softness of the flowers. "Look at us layin' in flowers like a couple-a gay people." Rallo said. "You think any of those fellas are hookin' up? Just rollin' around in the flowers, makin' contact?"

"It's pretty nice, I admit." Augustus rolled on his side, closing his eyes. "Too bad I don't got anyone to make 'contact' with." He felt a shadow come over his face. "That don't mean I'm getting with you, Stewie."

"Open your eyes, you creepy narcissist, that's not me." Stewie retorted.

"Augusus…"

Augustus peeped an eye open. A beautiful girl's face was hanging over him, pretty hazel eyes, dangling cyan hair, and a purplish-red line painted over her nose. "NEL!" Augustus's heart jumped. "Y-You're here! How…"

"I brought her." Death the Kid spoke. "Until recently, this woman was a 197 million-year-old Arrancar. After her Inferius crumbled, her spirit was filled with light again. It seems she longed to reunite with you. Her love burned bright for that much time. It was so great that it was impossible to subdue her. We didn't want her to become an Arrancar again, so we allowed her a Gigai to come visit you."

"Nel so happy she get to be with Augusus again!" Nel laid on the younger teen and rubbed cheeks with him. "Now that Nel matur, she make good mate for him."

"W-Whoa whoa! Nel, you're not quite alive anymore… are you?"

"Technically, a Gigai has _all_ the components of a living organic body." Kid noted. "Including reproductive organs."

"Why did you phrase it like that?!"

"Does Augusus know good cave for him and Nel?" asked the cavegirl.

"NO I DON'T! !" Augustus pushed Nel off and sprinted across the fields.

"Nel confused." said the cavegirl after helping herself up. "Does Augusus feel scared because Nel taller?"

"I'd give that a fair wager." Stewie replied. ("Mw-mw." agreed Maggie.)

Melody Jackson was laying on her back in the river, wearing her new white top, blue sarong with fish designs, and hair in a ponytail. "You should've seen the place where Manaphy's Egg Chamber was, Eric." She said to her friend sitting on the riverside. "That water was _beautiful_. So pure and clean… it made me realize how little I've spent in the water."

"Me, too." Eric gazed dazedly at her lovely form. "I mean, er… it's nice to be out of the news studio every now and then. But it is nicer than Mermaid Death Swamp…"

"Here's to that." Melody swam up beside him and gripped the edge, lifting one foot out of the water. "So, what if Lord English lands here and starts killing everything? Will you protect me, Eric?"

"Ulp! Uuuuuhhh…" Eric felt himself redden.

"For the record, I told her about what you said." Eric whipped around to find Maddy, Chris, and Cheren. The former continued, "You know, about you cowering behind your protector like a pussy if English showed up."

"GYAH, IT'S NOT TRUE MELODY!" Eric pulled his shirt up to hide his shameful expression.

"Hm hm hm! It's okay, Eric, I don't care if you're not a strong guy." Melody smiled. "Besides, you're the cameraman. You need to stay behind me and catch my good side when I battle."

"It's another balance we need to keep." Chris said. "Strong guys and nerds. There has to be an equilibrium, am I right?"

"I guess." Cheren sighed in disbelief. "…But that should be a rule, too. Try not to mention Lord English very much."

"How? He's named after our language."

"Yeah, what is he, Voldemort?" Maddy followed.

"I just think he's become the center of all our worries… I'd like it if we could quit being worried once in a while. That's why we came here."

"Well, you're not wrong." Chris said, walking away a few feet. "But the only thing I wanna do to cool off is fight."

"Try something new for a change." Maddy remarked, picking a blue flower to force in his hand, then heading the other way.

"You don't get to say that, Higher Level." Chris smirked.

Arianna Dunfree was lying on her back in a cluster of flowers. Her little friend was relaxed in a green flower beside her. "Do you like the new clothes I made for you, Vweeb?"

"I kind of do!" Vweeb answered enthusiastically. He was in a blue T-shirt and black shorts, replacing his jumpsuit. "I don't know what I liked about the jumpsuit. So tight." Vweeb looked around and studied other couples. Morgiana was doing a dance for Nagisa, Jinta was using a dandelion to tickle Ururu's nose. "I think everyone is turning this into a date."

"Why wouldn't they." Arianna said simply. "Speaking of, what about Nebula? Are you still… in love with her?"

"Um… somehow, I feel like she'll be too busy for me. …Hey, Ari, ever wonder what those Darkness guys are doing?"

"Taking over the universe, I assume."

"I know, but whaddo they do in their downtime? You think they have any beaches or flower fields?"

"Hmm… it's curious."

 ** _King Dutchman_** (Play "Meanwhile on the Prison Ship.")

In a very distant realm, the remains of what used to be a universe, Bill Cipher was at work in the flagship's office. The desk and chair was much too large for the child-size demon, but it made up for its size by holding thirteen old-timey telephones, each with a different color. Bill was closely examining a rusted sword collected from Dimension Karakura. When the dark-green phone rang, Bill tossed the sword into a pile of other inter-dimensional swords before answering.

"Hiya, Davy! Are ya finished conquering the Grand Line? Oh? The Big Mom Pirates want to join our powerful organization? She wants you to marry one of her daughters? We-hell, you let me know how that goes, buddy!"

A phone designed like a key rang. "Ahh, Xehanort!" Bill answered. "Is Remnant as good as you hoped it would be? …The Heartless and Grimm are having trouble getting along? Well, what can you expect? Say, keep a few prisoners and we'll have Zeref turn them into Inferi." A phone lined with six gems rang. "The C-Man speaking, how may I help?" Bill smiled proudly. Then he frowned. "Thanos, you need to tone it down with the Power Stone. I know it's easy to extinguish all life on a planet in one blow, but followers are good to have! So yeah, maybe give the next planet some time to worship you." He hung up.

"Sigh… taking over the multiverse is becoming slower than I hoped it would be. I guess I should have expected. The fact that these worlds _are_ powerful is why Lord English chose them to begin with. Needless to say, these Darknesses would have won with just a little more help." He heard large footsteps and looked to the giant doorway. "Ahh, just the person I wanted to see! Yellow Diamond."

The Gem Empress bore her scowl as she entered the office. "Why have you summoned me, Worm?"

"Yellow Diamond, I've noticed that your work has been a bit… lacking as of late. We got you a bunch of Pokémon to command at your behest, but so far you've barely conquered two universes."

"Conquering these worthless worlds means nothing without my Gems. What I desire is a universe of perfect order where my Gems live in order and harmony. If not for Peridot, I wouldn't have joined this voyage at all. I'm only here so I can return to Emera. _Your_ goals mean nothing to me."

"Look, Yellow, like it or not, you're one of Lord English's servants. You'll have everything you want and more, but ONLY if you do what we say! Otherwise… you may not have a Homeworld at all. Now, back to work, Gorgeous." Bill grinned.

". . ." Clenching her teeth, Diamond turned and stomped out, unknowingly passing Team Rocket, who had come in behind the giant's cape.

"And what can I do for you three?" Bill asked.

"Um… we seem to be out of medicine for Voldemort." Jessie replied.

"And we're kind of scared to confront him about it…" James said nervously.

"Ho, that poor man." Bill shook his head. "Fine, I'll take care of it. Stay here to answer my calls." He snapped his fingers and vanished into flame.

"'Course, which of these Darknesses isn't scary?" Meowth commented. "I never been so happy to be a chorecat. Sigh, how I long to be in Miss Carla's paws…"

"And that poor Diamond is the only woman among them." Jessie spoke emotionally. "Look at the way she's oppressed by this male autocracy!"

"I don't see why. That neck makes her the tallest person on this boat." James said.

"What she needs is a girl friend to confide all her problems to. Someone to turn to in times of turmoil."

"Good luck, Jess." remarked Meowth. "Girl or not, she's probably as high and stuck-up as these other tyrants."

"We'll see about that. I'm going to look for her." Jessie exited the office. (End song.)

She wandered the ship for 10 minutes in searching for Yellow Diamond. She hadn't come by the Portal Chamber or the Pokémon Shelter, so Jessie decided to check the deck. Having to squint her eyes at first from the bright green, wavy sky, she saw the yellow giantess staring in the distance.

Jessie approached Yellow Diamond slowly. She saw the anger and desire in her sharp, narrow eyes. When Jessie looked beyond the deck, she realized Yellow Diamond was watching the ongoing clash between Lord English and Arceus. "That battle will have no victor."

Jessie gasped. Yellow Diamond seemed to acknowledge her. "You… really think so?"

"They're both powerful beings. So powerful that every blow rips the universe. But really, they're disorderly savages. Look at what they did to this universe. It's horrendous."

"I agree. I can't even tell where we are, anymore. …" Jessie faced up at her again. "You're different from these people, aren't you?"

"And what are you?"

"Oh, I'm just… the ship's maid!" Jessie blushed.

"Oh, the humans' version of a Pearl."

"I beg pardon?"

"Be gone. You're not worth my time."

"I guess Meowth was right about that." Jessie mumbled. "I'm just wondering why they wanted you on this ship. You're not evil like the other Darknesses. You sound like you just want to go back home."

"Perhaps… but I am evil regardless."

"Why?"

"Because I am imperfect. I have always been imperfect. I betrayed My Diamond's trust and let myself be defeated by the enemy countless times. We Gems were supposed to be the most perfect race, and save the universe from its chaotic nature. The more I look at this, the more I begin to see… the flaw in that goal."

Yellow Diamond about-faced and touched her diamond. "And that flaw is… those who seek perfection will only be destroyed. The true path to perfection is imperfection. If that is the law I must live by… then I will." She grabbed the sword from her gem as it sparked to life. "Hmm… Strangely, it feels appealing to say it out loud." With that, she reentered the ship.

"… …" Jessie grinned gleefully. "Oooooo, you just made yourself a friend, Jessie!" She jumped and threw up a fist. "YEAH! !"

 **Flower Fields**

"You know, seeing all these couples together, it makes me realize something." Aisa said to her teammates. "None of us have boyfriends."

"That sure came out of nowhere!" Mocha laughed. "I guess none of us do have any close guy friends."

"Why do we need any now?" Chimney asked. "We ain't no smelly teenagers. Our hormones are just fine, thank you! …Em, no offense, April." ("Gyom-gyom.")

"I am rather curious, though." April said. "I've always examined couples from afar and watched how their emotions operate. I would like to practice it."

"So, what? We should try and look for boyfriends when we get back?" Apis questioned.

"Or at least new friends who _are_ guys!" Aisa grinned. "I hate to say I'm tired of you girls, but it doesn't hurt to expand our friendship circle."

"Eh." Chimney shrugged. "I guess it would be cool. Who you think would be a good friend?"

"GIRLS, HIDE ME!" Augustus jumped over and pulled Chimney and Apis together, hiding behind them.

"Him, maybe?" Apis said awkwardly.

The two chose to keep their pose for a few minutes. Augustus peeped around, but could not see his stalker through the flowers. "Sigh…" But when he turned, his face met with hers. "YAH! !" He fell back and knocked Chimney and Apis down.

"Why Augusus hide from Nel?" asked the cavewoman that was crouched like a puppy. "Nel want to be near her mate."

A frantic Augustus snatched Aeincha and wagged her in front of Nel's face. "Look, Nel! It's a tasty tiny person! Wanna taste the tiny person?"

"NO, PLEASE!" Aein cried.

"Stop it!" Apis snatched her back. "Speaking of couples, it looks like you two have some issues. We'll leave you alone." With that, Sector W7 left.

"Augusus no need run from Nel. Nel understand."

"Nel do? I-I mean, you do?" asked Augustus, calming down.

"Nel want to be with Augusus." She crawled up beside him. "But Augusus… too young for Nel."

Augustus instantly pictured the 5-year-old cavegirl in his mind, smiling and laughing. "Uh… yeah, Nel, I'm too young for you." He complied.

"Nel and Augusus from different time. We no can be mates. But Augusus always be Nel mate." Nel brushed her head against his. "And Nel always be with Augusus in breast."

"Y-You mean in heart, heh heh. …But, um… I'm glad you understand, Nel." Augustus withdrew a green lollipop from his pocket. "This is for you."

"Oh!" Nel took it happily. "Thank, Augusus! Up my nose it goes."

"NEL, NO-!"

"Nel jokes." Nel placed the candy in her mouth. "Nel smarter than that."

"Heh heh heh!"

There was no conflict and no drama in this peaceful meadow. There were only friends happily talking to one-another. Cheren saw it all from the giant fountain, and it made him happy to see his operatives this way. "Hoo! I haven't had a good bath in ages!" Viridi expressed, showering under the fountain's waterfall. "I finally feel my strength returning!"

"Just don't make me have to take it away again, Viridi." Cheren remarked.

"I know, I know. But now that you aren't aging anymore, your choice of girlfriends is strictly limited. And, admittedly, I have come to somewhat respect you, and… well, biologically my body is one year younger than yours."

"Yeah, I guess… I mean, WHAT?! ?" Cheren flushed.

"Well, back to my shower! Hmm hmm hmm. . . ." Viridi innocently resumed bathing.

"Enjoying ourselves, are we?" Cheren whipped around, finding a wry look on Panini's face. "It's either her or nobody, you know."

"Don't be ridiculous. She's too immature for me."

"Well, we're only human." Pan shrugged. "Most of us… anyway." On that note, she jumped down.

"…Sigh." Cheren turned away. Everyone else was happy… but she wasn't. "When are you gonna get over it?"


	5. Sleepover

**I've barely gotten any sleep… because I've been addicted to _Paper Mario: Color Splash_. Good game.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 5: Sleepover_**

 _Nolan York found himself on a white sandy ground under a black sky. White cacti and bones stuck out of the sand. He knew he was dreaming because he was on both legs. "I'm either in a nightmare from Darkrai or one from Affright." Nolan said to himself. "Either way, I thought I had the night off."_

 _To his left, he spotted a monochrome girl with pigtails staring at him. "Uh, hello, dream girl. Are you here to teach me a life lesson?"_

 _". . ." The girl's left eye melted as multiple arms poked out of her body. She moaned and moved closer like a zombie. Nolan stepped backward and bumped into someone else. He turned and saw it was a brown-haired girl with a pink window shirt. "Can I ask you something?"_

 _When Nolan faced forward again, the monochrome girl was directly in front. Her multi-limb body spun around like a disc, zooming in and out of Nolan's vision._

"Nnn!" Nolan startled awake when his wife kicked him in her sleep. "Sigh… well, that didn't make any sense." His eyes directed to the ceiling—"AH!" The window shirt girl hovered above them.

"Can you tell us where the chips are?"

 _"MADOTSUKI, WE FOUND SOME!"_

"Oh. Never mind." The spirit vanished.

"What the…" Nolan hurriedly climbed out of bed and rolled down in his wheelchair. A blonde girl in a green dress passed him on her way from the kitchen with potato chips.

"Huh?" Mary faced up at him. "You must be Mr. Von Schweetz!"

"Hi, Dad!" Vanellope glitched in from the living room. "Sorry to wake you."

Nolan looked in the living room to find that same spirit girl, along with a another brown-haired girl with red eyes. "Vanellope, who are these people?"

"They're friends I invited for a sleepover! This is Mary, she's a painting; that's Ib, she met Mary in the art gallery," she pointed at the red-eyed one, "and that ghostie girl is Madotsuki! Together, we're the Club of Girls Who Were Stuck in One Place For Too Long! Mom said it was okay…"

"Shouldn't you all be in bed by now? I mean, it's…" He looked at a clock.

"It's only 8:00." Vanel said. "You were already asleep, and Mom was drinking, so she kinda conked out, too. See guys, I told you my parents were lazy."

"So, how did you make Vanellope, Mr. Schweetz?" Mary asked innocently.

"Er, it's Mr. York." Nolan blushed. "And I didn't make her, my son found her in Cyberspace. Where is Dillon, anyway? Someone needs to watch you."

"Out on a solo mission." Vanel said. "You know, he's been real into Nightwing lately. Don't worry, Dad, we're just gonna watch an anime."

"Is it E-rated?"

"Ye-…" Vanel hesitated; the lie was clear on her face. "Yeah…"

"What brush did you use to make Dillon?" Mary asked.

"How old did you say you were?" Nolan asked.

"One hundred and two years old!"

"Sigh, you kids and your candy." Nolan shook his head. "Just behave yourselves while you're here. I'm going back to sleep."

"Okay, Daddy! Good night!" Vanellope called as he returned upstairs.

When Nolan reentered the bedroom, Danika was moving uncomfortably and ruffling the blanket. "Nnnnn, Kayla if you touch him again, I'll slit your throat…"

"Danika, remember when you were young and a sleepover seemed like the coolest thing ever?" Nolan asked, climbing back in with her.

"Nnnnnuuuuu…"

"Yep, neither do I. I suppose the worst thing we have to worry about is Quagmire climbing through the window. …See you in Dream Land, honey." He drifted back into slumber.

 ** _King Dutchman_** (Cue "Meanwhile on the Prison Ship.")

The flagship of The Thirteen was sailing in an uncharted region of this doomed dimension… but if I had to guess, it was around the vicinity where New Jersey used to be. Czar Baldy Bald III gathered some of his comrades in his sleeping quarters for a special announcement.

"Welcome to the first meeting of The Thirteen Boys' Club!" announced the czar from his bed. "Where masculine mischief makers get down with their bad selves!"

The only other people in attendance were James, Truman Zorc, and Xehanort. "Given how many men are on this ship, it's not very big." James commented.

"I'm surprised Bill Cipher didn't come." Truman said.

"Blah, if you invite the boss, they'll just make you work!" Tsuru stated. "Also, the other boys keep making fun of me. Even Davy Jones!" He frowned. "I'm sure that tentacle face had its share of teasing."

"I remember my days in Organization XIII." said Xehanort. "I was often uninvited to my cohorts' social conventions. Perhaps they thought I was too serious. So then, Czar Bald, what rebellious activities did you have planned?"

"I cannot believe that is coming from your mouth." Zorc mumbled.

"I have a list right here!" Tsuru drew out a paper. "Have a looksie!" He passed it to the three boys.

"Ganondorf uses hair gel made from a Moblin's gastric acids?!" James read in shock.

"Thanos looks at himself armorless with two mirrors after a shower." Xehanort read. "Interesting…"

"So, here's what we're going to do!" Tsuru began. (Play "Love in my Tummy" by Resnick and Levine!)

James crept into Ganon's room, swiped his Moblin Gel, and seemingly put it back before zipping off. Ganondorf returned to apply the gel to his fiery red hair. …There was an odd smell about it, but he had no time to ponder.

Ganon used the Multiverse Portal to go to Dimension "Gastrea," where giant mutant bugs threatened Tokyo. The giant bugs began to swarm Ganon instantly as he hurriedly sliced and burned them. In truth, James replaced his gel with bugnip, so any bugs in Ganon's area would fly to him like a magnet.

Zorc heard Thanos taking a shower as steam seeped out of the bathroom. He snuck into the titan's room and changed his giant mirrors into cards. Zorc rippled those cards before changing them back to normal. When Thanos finished his shower, he proudly came to pose to his reflections. One mirror depicted him with a fat round head and stick body, the other displayed him like a letter "A". A furious Thanos punched the mirrors all the way through the ship and into the chaotic universe.

Davy Jones was in deep, calm slumber on his organ seat. When he awoke, he yawned and stretched his—his tentacle finger was tied to his beard tentacles, surprising him when he yanked those tentacles up, and falling over. Baldy Bald ran in, pointing frantically to show Aizen his situation. The Soul Reaper shrugged and used his sword to cut Jones' beard and free him. Tsuru snickered at the half-bearded Jones, but when the captain glared at him, the czar bolted.

Blackbeard returned to his room and beamed at the sight of the triple cherry pie on his table. He skipped over and started chomping… but a serious case of the runs suddenly overcame him. One bathroom was occupied by James, another by Zorc, by Xehanort, and by Tsuru, so when Blackbeard ran by the Portal Chamber, he saw no other choice. Dimentio yelped when the sickened pirate ran up. He became a multidimensional toilet.

When Bill Cipher was in his office, Tsuru's phone rang. Bill answered, "Yes, Hairy Baldy?"

 _"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"_ Tsuru asked in a disguised rugged voice.

"No, but I have Prince Charming, Prince Ali, Prince Eric, Prince Hans, Prince Beast, Prince Naveen, Prince Philip…" Bill was looking at a shelf with cans of shrunken captured princes, each of which were shaking from their attempts to escape. "I don't know what's so funny about capturing princes, it just is! You think I should make a strip club on this ship for captured princesses?"

"HECK, YEAH!" Tsuru beamed.

"Haha, great! That's one vote! Spread the word, get the others involved." Bill hung up.

"YES!" Tsuru cheered. "We're getting a princess strip room!"

The other three exchanged weird glances. "Uhh… I thought we were making a Prince Albert joke." James said.

After that, they snuck into Yellow Diamond's room while she was absent. Xehanort used his Keyblade to open her giant bedside drawer. The boys climbed up, with James and Tsuru giddy to see what giant alien undies she wore (Xehanort was just tagging along and Zorc was detested). …They were surprised to find tiny, human-size clothes.

James and Tsuru curiously picked up a pink bra when an angry Jessie climbed up behind them. Apparently, Yellow Diamond let her use this drawer to store her clothes so they wouldn't be bunched in with James' in their cramped smelly room. The boys ran across the halls as Jessie chased them in a rage. (End song.)

"You have a very curious psychology, Baldy." Xehanort said as they were headed back to the room. "I was glad to have a chance to study it."

"Hyah, I had fun, too!" Baldy grinned.

"I must admit, I think I've found a friendship with you three." James smiled. "Jessie was right. You Thirteen guys aren't as scary as you seem."

"Speak for yourself." Zorc huffed.

"And now, back to the sanctity of our exclusive men's…" Tsuru stepped first into the room. "CYAAAAH!"

Their room was bright pink and occupied by princesses in pajamas. "THIS PILLOW WAS MINE!" Fiona yelled, playing tug-o-war with Rapunzel.

"That fat one over there is yours!"

"Me mother's a BEAR!" Merida exclaimed (no, it's not the same one :P).

"My grandmother's a tree." Pocahontas replied.

"GIRLS! !" The boys panicked. "RUUUUUN! (Our manhood is compromised!)" And they ran away.

Bill pointed the camera at himself and said, "The boss knows how to have fun, too!"

 **Von Schweetz House—I mean, York House**

 _Now Nolan was in a cloudy desert with cacti that looked like seaweed and block stacks with Aztec symbols. "Already? Well, it sure don't feel like an Affright dream. OKAY, DARKRAI, I'm still not understanding what you're trying to tell me."_

 _Nolan heard island music coming from the direction of some cacti. He navigated around the cacti and discovered a picnic. The people in attendance were humanoid birds and the music came from a stereo. "Hm. Bird picnic. Not quite the weird dream I was expecting."_

 _The birds flinched to attention when the cacti on the opposite side rustled. Madotsuki and two monochrome girls (one of them was the same as before) jumped out and bombarded the party with water balloons. The bird people flapped their wings frantically and tried to fly away, but more balloons came from unseen sources. Nolan walked around the party to find these accomplices. They were fuzzy versions of Vanellope, Ib, and Mary._

 _Somebody tapped Nolan's shoulder from behind: a slender, black alien with a white face and no mouth. "You're new. Who are you?"_

"DWAH!" A stray balloon hit Nolan, scaring him awake. He felt his face, but it wasn't wet. Danika was poking his chest with nail clippers, stuck in her own dream. "You need therapy. Wait a minute!" He quickly got into his chair and rolled downstairs.

"How has Sunni been, Mary?" Ib asked as the girls were watching _When They Cry_. "She would've had to give you Psychic Chi to stay out this long, right?"

"Sunni's still pretty upset about her mom. But it's okay because if you adopt me Ib, I won't have to rely on her chi!" Mary grinned.

"My parents seem okay with it, we're just trying to get everything organized. It'll be nice to really have you in our family!"

Nolan rushed downstairs and thundered, "Alright, NO THROWING WATER BALLOONS IN MY… huh?"

The four looked at him like he was crazy. "Dad… we're watching _TV_." Vanellope informed with disbelief. In _When They Cry_ , the characters were shooting water guns.

"…Oh." He looked up at Mado. "You were in my dream again. What's the deal with that?"

"I'm actually talking to you all _from_ the Dream World. When Bill Cipher switched realities with me, I took some of his powers. I'm projecting myself into the slumbering minds of your dreamselves."

"…I still haven't figured out how bending works." Nolan rubbed his aching head.

"But you were appearing in _my_ dream world." Mado mentioned. "For some reason, my friends were attracted to you. Are you… connected to the Dream World somehow?"

"Oh yeah, he's got that magic gem thing-!" Vanel remembered excitedly.

"Vanellope, please!" Nolan gestured a 'shush.' "Sigh… come with me."

Nolan led Madotsuki into the Sandcave. He put his hand on a pedestal scanner, triggering a round hatch to open on the floor behind it. Another pedestal with a metal cylinder came up. Inside was a green glowing gem with a point on either end. "An old friend gave this to me. It can warp you to the Dream World. It also turns the user into sand, which is good for a quick getaway. That's all it does, I think…"

"So, you can physically come to the Dream World?"

"Yeah, but I only used it in my teens, trying to find my life's purpose and such. But then I figured there's no point relying on dreams."

"…" Mado's half-closed eyes looked away. That was a lesson she was too late to learn. "Did you find a life's purpose?"

"It was either settle down and have a kid or keep being a hero. Now I'm just doing a little of both. But when I was on Mariejoa… I was almost certain that was the end. King Andrew killed me. And then…"

 _"Sorry Mr. York, but I don't want you to die, yet! I've become too fond of you!"_

Nolan smiled, remembering Cheren's golden shiny grin. "It was like God didn't want me, yet. He thinks I'm too important. I don't see why… those kids done replaced us. They've done more than we ever did in one month. Hard to believe there would be room for an old man like me."

"Can you enter the Dream World now?"

"You mean with this? I… guess I could."

"Would you?"

Nolan looked at her curiously. Her eyes were a bit more open. It seemed this girl felt a connection between them. And if he said 'no'… he might not get an ounce of sleep tonight. He calmly grabbed the Gem of Dreams and closed his eyes. In a flash, Nolan vanished from the Sandcave.

 **Dream Realm**

Unlike any other time he was in the Dream World, Nolan was in his wheelchair, sitting on a cliff overlooking a city at night. Behind him was an average park with lamp posts, fountains, and faceless people on benches. Madotsuki was beside him, a soft wind cooling their necks. "What was your life like, York-san? Did you ever want to escape into dreams forever?"

"Most of my dreams were nightmares… so I guess I would have to say 'no.' And if I had, I think I would have disappointed a lot of people."

"There's a lot of turmoil in your mind. I can feel it. The only reason I have friends now is because of what that monster did. If I don't help stop him, those people will be disappointed, too. And when I have so many people relying on me… thinking about me… it feels good. But what happens when they don't need me, anymore?"

"If they care about you, then they'll always need you. That's what I think, anyway."

"I think they will, too. These people are nice. I just wonder how _they'll_ feel about it."

At this, Nolan turned to find Madotsuki's dream friends: Mafurako the invisible hat-and-scarf girl, Kamakurako the sleeping girl, Masada the alien, and Poniko facing the other way. Masada was the one to approach Nolan as he touched the Gem of Dreams. "It really is the same gem I read about. It was made by Morpheus, one of Darkrai's apprentices, and it contains properties of the Protoon."

"I know." Nolan said. "It was made to help people with psychological problems."

"Indeed. But it was also created so that denizens of your world could better interact with the Dream World. It was made so our worlds could connect. But it seems that idea was lost to the ages. Can't say I blame them, with monsters like Bill Cipher."

"It feels so warm." Madotsuki touched the gem. "If I had this when I was alive… I wonder if it would've helped."

"I don't know." Nolan replied. "Maybe I can let you have it. It's not like I found much use for it."

Madotsuki looked at him. "York-san… even if I get my reality back, I don't have a home, anymore. Vanellope said you would be willing to adopt me like you did her. She said it couldn't be that big a deal since you don't have to spend money on her."

". . . . ." Nolan gave it some thought. Looking back, they adopted Midna, adopted Vanellope, briefly had Django stay with them… "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! We just got rid of Midna and we have to make room for someone ELSE?! I'm a crippled vigilante who rarely gets to hang out with his wife and son, NOT A FOSTER PARENT!"

That was what he said in his head. But what he actually said was, "Um… I'll… consider it. Either way, if you like this gem, you're welcome to visit."

"I'll consider it." Mado smiled. "Oh! Poniko!"

The ponytailed girl came to touch the gem, but her eyes were still averted. Kamakurako lay on the ground and touched it from below. Mafurako touched it and assumed a visible form. One of Monoko's multiple hands touched it, as did her sister Monoe. "Sigh… and I thought Foster's was a messed up home."


	6. Limbo

**Shout-out to IDA Official for mentioning The Thirteen in his _Guide to the Multiverse_!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 6: Limbo_**

 **Unknown Location**

His eyelids opened to a ceiling of bright white. He sat up and looked around. The walls were white, the floor was white, his bed was white, and his shirt and pants were white. "How many times have I woken up in some strange random place…" Nerehc Onu asked himself. "At least I remember who I am this time. What was I even doing…" He climbed off his bed, his bare feet touching the posh white floor. It felt as cold as he expected it to, but it also felt odd in some way he couldn't explain. "Wait… I dove into the Sanzu River to rescue Ganondorf. And then…"

Nerehc caught a whiff of something from down the white corridor. It smelled like tea. Nerehc followed the scent to a room with a small white table and steaming teacup. The back of a strange man in white clothes was facing him. "And they said no one could escape the Sanzu River. Well… now I have someone to attest to that." The man faced Nerehc. He had blank white eyes and red tribal makeup on his face. "Don't I?" He smirked.

"Did you save me?"

"I saved what I could. Your body was already dead by the time I found you. This is a little hidden place in the Spirit World for spirits like us. Some call it Limbo."

"And who are you?"

"I'm Knil. K-N-I-L. It sounds like 'Kill,' that's why the 'K' isn't silent. Of course, you probably know me as the Fierce Deity."

Nerehc gasped. "The Fierce Deity Mask?! Cheren told me that was destroyed by King Andrew!"

"Thank God for that." Knil stood and clenched the air in his hand, grinning wickedly. "I was the strongest warrior in all Eluryh. Slaying demons was my passion! And that annoying Mask Man wanted to keep me prisoner in that mask! If it weren't for my Positive's descendants, I would've died of boredom."

"You don't sound that different from your Positive."

"No… Link was a man of justice. He fought demons for the good of the world. I kill them out of pleasure. And my dream has been to slay the Six Demon Saints. But because of what you did, all the Saints were absorbed into Ganondorf's body."

"Ganondorf? So, he escaped… Hold on, what date is it?! What happened with the prophecy—the Twenty Keys?!"

"Oh, you're too late for that… The universe was destroyed by that monster, Lord English. The survivors are on a gigantic ship to the New World. From what I understand, somebody shrunk all the planets to carry them on this ship. This resulted in connected worlds like the Negaverse and Spirit World being shrunk as well. Heh… what's with kids in this universe being so damn lucky?"

"So, the DNK—my friends… they're all safe? I have to go back to them."

"It isn't that easy. When I rescued your spirit, it had trouble attaining a form. You kept blinking in and out of the Spirit World, as if the universe didn't know where you belonged. It's an anomaly that sometimes happens between Positives and Negatives, when one has prolonged life or comes back to life. That's what happened to Cheren. He achieved the God Tier and returned to life."

"But how can Cheren survive without me?"

"Because gods and spirits don't need opposites to keep existing. But Cheren's methods are foreign to our universe. That's why it isn't sure whether to mark you alive or not."

"Could I come back to life if I wanted? Can the Grim Reaper restore my existence?"

"He might be able to… but it wouldn't do you any good. Your Triforce of Power was already taken by Ganondorf. He also took your mother's half of it after Lord English killed her."

"WHAT?!" Nerehc would've lit on fire had he still had his bending. "I have to go back right now!"

"Aren't you listening? If you wanted revenge on Ganondorf, you can't do a thing without your bending. That's exactly why… I know you'll team up with me. When King Andrew broke my mask, my soul was distorted. I barely had enough strength to save you. I only look whole in this Limbo. But if we tried, we could mold our energies together and become a whole being."

"That sounds absolutely _disgusting_ , and I don't wanna be a part of it."

"It's not disgusting! At least… not as much as it sounds… If you don't, you'll spend the rest of your existence in here, eventually to be forgotten. You'll watch helplessly as your friends fight for their lives, only to lose without you."

"Sigh… If we did, what's the catch? Does one of us have total control or do we both take turns?"

"Well, because of my position as a lifeless mask these past thousands of years, my willpower is a little shorthanded. You might be in control… maybe… All I want to do is slaughter Ganondorf and Lord English. I know you want their destruction, too… so you're the only one I have to bond with."

"Whatever. So, how do we do this?"

Knil guided Nerehc to Limbo's exit, a tall archway of light whiter than the chamber's décor. "The minute we step outside Limbo, your spiritual body will blink in and out between realities while mine will simply scatter like mist in the wind. During that time, I will attempt to will my essence into yours."

"It just gets more disgusting the more we talk about it." Nerehc shook.

"Then let's quit talking and do it." Knil went forward first. "Besides, there are worse situations like these."

 ** _King Dutchman_** (Play "The Millennium Earl" from _D. Gray-Man_.)

Lord Vaati awoke in the dark of his cell. He lost track of the time he spent trapped in here, an aching pain coursed all throughout the left half of his body. He thought he would be looking at a brand new world after the Government's fall… but he made the foolish mistake of confronting the Thirteen Darknesses. But his defeat wasn't the true source of his pain.

"So… it seems you still haven't recovered." A pair of white, ghostly feet in a black robe stepped out of the darkness. Lord Voldemort's head was more skeletal than when he was alive, and his slit scarlet eyes were lacking soul. "Until now, Vaati, I never thought much on your people. Minish were nothing more to me than bugs, lower than even Muggles… but when I look at you, I imagine you would have longed for such a fate. Such unspeakable pain… and all because of the 'love' you felt for your daughter."

"And what do you know of love?" Vaati hissed.

"I know that it is a wizard's downfall. It's ironic that one who follows the ideology of freedom would feel it. But you and I are alike, Vaati. Our only joy is magic… and your child was nothing more than a barrier. A tether. But that tether has been cut…"

Unknown to Vaati, Madara Uchiha was in the cell also, using his Sharingan to hold the Minish in a Genjutsu as Voldemort circled him. Ganondorf and Davy Jones watched from outside. "It seems Voldemort's body is failing him." Ganon observed. "Having only one-eighth of a soul has that affect."

"Quite surprising this man was the Negatar's shadowbending teacher." Jones commented. "Now he hasn't even a conscious shadow."

 _"Hisssss!"_ Bellatrix hissed at the duo. She may be an underling, but she wouldn't show mercy or respect to these villains for speaking ill of her Voldy. They decided to leave the brig and appease her petty desires.

"Still, I am surprised with Vaati." Ganon said. "When he interned under me, he was nothing more than a rebellious adolescent. He's become quite famous after 20 years. I'll even be surprised if Voldemort succeeds in possessing him. For now, I have business to attend to…"

Ganon entered an upstairs office where a fat man with gray skin, a top-hat, and a huge grinning mouth was signing a paper. Giovanni was overseeing this from across the desk, petting his Mega Persian. "Ahh, Lord Ganondorf." The Millennium Earl sensed his presence. "I've just finished signing the last of the forms. You now control 20% of my Akuma army, in exchange that you will provide me more factories and souls from which to construct Akuma."

"Perfect." Ganon grinned. "It was a pleasure doing business with you, Lord Millennium." He shook the scientist's gloved hand. "You remind me of another scientist I know… not that I'm feeling sentimental."

"It's a shame _I_ wasn't chosen to be a member of these 'Thirteen.' Well, at least you were kind enough to give me a place in this army."

 _"Attention all officers and staff."_ Bill Cipher's voice was heard over the intercom. _"It seems that our universal domination and disruption of several Space-Time Continuums has NOT gone unnoticed. Some multi-dimensional law-enforcers have caught on to our actions and are combatting some of our forces. I kind of expected this to happen eventually; don't worry, it's nobody's fault in particular, coughthanos. Just, while you're out conquering universes, expect a more stiff resistance."_

"My, my. Seems you're awfully busy up here." the Earl said as he and Ganon proceeded down the hall. "Making contracts, interrogating prisoners… And I thought it would be so simple with the most powerful being in the universe as your master."

"Even the Almighty has limits, it seems." They viewed outside a window. Arceus trapped Lord English in a gigantic ice cube, then erupted a column of lava to burn him. Only a Paradox Clone took the blow, while the real English dropped down and stabbed Arceus's back with his golden peg-leg (turned into a blade). "When two beings have the power to destroy the universe in one blow, the battle will have no outcome. I expect them both to destroy each other. That would be the best thing to happen at any rate."

"Of course… but it also depends on who you prefer to win. Well then… I'll be returning to my world now. My schedule just became a lot busier."

"I'll bring you to the portal, then." Ganondorf led the Earl. "There's another world I was in the midst of conquering… before I became the target of a childish prank."

 _"Captain Jones."_ A thick Australian voice rang from the PA. _"That last blow English dealt Arceus stirred up a nasty cyber storm. It best to be makin' sail."_

"Turn starboard at 90 degrees, Mr. Maccus-ah." Jones responded. "Master Bill, we may need Dimentio to postpone portal operations to make a jump to hyperspace."

 _"That won't be necessary. Thanos' Space Stone should provide enough energy to give these guys some room. Keep the portal running, but make sure no one uses it during the jump. I prefer to avoid losing crewmen as much as possible."_

In his office, Bill took a delightful sip of tea. On his desk were bundles of multiversal currency, from ryo, berries, Rupees, coins, and Jewel. Of course, there were plenty more in the ship's vault. "As you can see, my company is a well-oiled machine." he said to the camera. "An ever-growing business chain, an empire! Even we Chaos Gods need to have _some_ organization. And it won't be long until we come to YOUR universe!" He pointed at the camera. "By then, you had better be ready to sign over."

* * *

 **Couldn't really decide where to go with this chapter… Like, I wanted to show what happened to Nerehc, but his training (with trying to merge with Knil) wouldn't be that fun to watch. So next chapter, we'll resume other side-plots. Also, I regret not making Earl one of the Darknesses, since his group has a Thirteen theme and he's from the NOAH Clan! :P**


	7. Giant Squad

**Time to meet some old friends.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 7: Giant Squad_**

 **Sector W7 Treehouse**

"'EY, NEBULA! NEBULA-SAN!" Chimney shouted up at the sky from her treehouse. "Are we at the New World, yet?!"

 _"Sigh… no, Chimney."_ Nebula's voice echoed from beyond. _"By my calculations, we have another 2 years and 11 months to go."_

"WAAAAAAH!" Chimney screeched. "Why did we have to ride a giant BOAT?! If my Rocket-san carried us, we woulda BEEN THERE by now!"

"I don't think it works that way, Chimney." Apis replied, reading her favorite book. "Besides, we need at least that much time to train."

"Bleh, who needs training when we can eat Aisa-chan's red apples and stomp everybody like Mochan."

"There's more to winning than brute force, Chimney." Aisa said.

"None I ever heard of. …Hmm?" Chimney saw a giant ship that she recognized as a KND transport vessel. "'ey, someone's coming to see us."

Her teammates curiously came over to see the incoming vessel. It stopped a few meters from the treehouse as Aaron Doblemitz's voice was heard. _"Howdy, W7! These cadets from Arctic Base asked to come visit you; said they knew you! Marcus said it was okay, but uh… you better make room."_

A door opened on the ship and connected with the balcony. There was a trembling that filled them with worry and made the girls ready their guard. _"MOCHAAAAAA!"_ Six giant children stormed across the bridge and into the treehouse. Sector W7 fell over from the tremors they caused.

"GUYS, IT'S YOU!" Mocha beamed when the six kids lifted and tossed her up in the air. Sind, the blonde Hispanic boy, wore a red soccer jersey with black shorts. Doran, the orange-skinned green-haired boy, wore a bright orange shirt and shorts. Ally, the girl with short brown hair, wore a white dress with red polka dots. Konbu, the chubbiest boy with thin black hair, had a green shirt and blue shorts that didn't hide his belly. Uzu, his younger brother, had puffier brown hair and a yellow shirt with a waffle picture. Biyo, the shortest boy with a large head and small bush of gray hair, had on a blue dress with black shorts barely seen underneath.

"Oh, they were from Punk Hazard, too!" Apis remembered.

"It's been forever since we saved them. Why they still giant, too? ?" Chimney asked.

"It was only about four months." April corrected.

"Ha ha! I heard Arctic Training accepted some giant kids recently." Mocha said as she was set down. "I didn't think it was you guys!"

"Yeah, we thought the KND scientists fixed your condition." Apis said.

"Yeah, they fixed us." Sind replied. "They got the poison stuff out, but it didn't shrink us back. The shrink ray and psychicbenders couldn't permanently fix us, either."

"We went back to our hometowns afterwards. Our parents were pretty freaked out." Ally explained with a blush. "We stayed in touch through letters. And, well… it wasn't easy fitting back in."

 _A blonde girl in a pink dress was typing on her computer in her room. Her house shook slightly, so she looked out her window for the source. "AAAH!" There was a giant girl in her back yard._

 _"Hi, Helga! It's me, Ally! Do you remember me?"_

 _"MOOOOOM! THERE'S A GIANT OUTSIDE! I think it wants to eat me!"_

 _"What, no I don't! Helga, we were friends! In fact, I never had a chance to return your-" Ally reached into her pocket._

 _"MOM, call the police—no the army—NO, ANIMAL CONTROL!" Helga ran away._

 _"…Doll." Ally picked a doll from her pocket._

"My parents didn't even want me going to school for a while. I had to sleep in the garage."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Mocha frowned. "What about the rest of you?"

"I had to sleep outside." Sind replied. "My parents let me go to school, but I had to sit my classes outside. When I got home, the first thing I wanted to do was play soccer. But…"

 _Sind hid behind two trees and watched kids practice in the field. His mother had woven a jersey and shorts his size, so he was ready to join them! "Hey, guys, can I play?" He jogged up excitedly—the kids gasped horrifically and backed away._

 _"I-I-It's a giant!" one of the boys stuttered._

 _"Is he gonna eat us?"_

 _"No, I wanna play soccer with you. Hehe, I bet I'll make an awesome goalie!"_

 _"Go away, you fatheaded freak!" The leader threw a shoe at Sind._

 _"Yeah, go away!" Another threw his shoe._

 _"Fathead!"_

 _Sind was bombarded by gym shoes, and while they didn't hurt, the actions still stung him. He decided to turn and run, fighting the urge to cry._

"Kids in my school started calling me the Carrot Monster." Doran followed. "Some of them tried to cut me with knives-"

"Oi, we heard enough sad backstories this past month." Chimney stated rudely. "And we didn't even care about those."

"Good to know." April said, shooting a glare.

"Anyway, we all found the secret KNN channel." Konbu said. "They were saying how you fought with Amazons and how you squashed a Teen Ninja base! We saw you get really giant and destroy Enies Lobby!"

"Ha ha ha!" Mocha blushed and scratched her head. "I don't know if I deserve credit for that one. Sector V did the hard part, I just got my legs cut."

"But you looked so cool doing it!" Uzu cheered. "We all wanted to join, too!"

"That's great! Is training going well?"

"As a matter of fact, it is." another voice said. The kids faced the entrance as Marcus Drilovsky approached. "These giants are the top of the combat classes, however they fail every other area."

"Ha ha ha! Sounds very similar to MY first day!" Mocha blushed.

"Exactly. That's why I brought these." Marcus raised a collection of papers.

"What are those?"

"Complaints raised by the other cadets and some of the guards. They've ruined several training areas, flooded several hallways, and the cadets generally feel challenged by them."

"We wouldn't-a broke all those rooms if the place wasn't made-a ice…" Biyo spoke lowly.

"It's okay, guys." Mocha said comfortingly. "The other cadets had trouble getting used to me, too. But when they saw how much butt I kicked, they wanted to climb all over me!"

"Mocha, just how many missions has Sector W7 completed solely or primarily thanks to your doing?" Marcus asked.

"Hmmm… Good question." Mocha scratched her chin. "There was the Amazons, that Trunchbull lady, that time Chimney was shrunken… but my teammates did a lot of work, too! The art gallery was definitely all April."

"Just tell us why you brought these fatsos over here." Chimney demanded.

"Shhhh!" Ally cupped her hands over Chimney. _"Don't use that word around Konbu."_

"What did she call us?" Konbu asked, looking hurt.

"Nothing, Konbu, Chimney just talks too much." Mocha patted his back in comfort.

"It's come to our attention that these giants may have a difficult time adjusting to the Kids Next Door. Naturally, given their size, any sector they would be placed in would need either a large aircraft to support them or a shrink ray to temporarily condense their size. And even if we wanted to spend money on these resources, one of our higher-ups believes that any sector who is assigned these giants will quickly be outshined by them. They suggested Nebula use her bending to permanently shrink them to their original sizes. …Since she probably could, because… you know. Otherwise, they could even be transferred to the Avalar Kids Next Door, since giants are natural on that world. This would also include Mocha."

"But we don't wanna change back." Doran said. "We wanna be strong and fight like Mocha. We want people to respect us!"

"We also wanna do it for the other kids from Punk Hazard." Ally followed. "They're probably having a hard time, too. If we become famous, maybe other kids will be nicer to them!"

"And I'm not leaving Sector W7, either!" Mocha stated firmly. "They're like family to me!"

"I admire your passion, but some operatives just feel, given your sizes, that you'll make them look bad because you're a lot stronger than them. Personally, I think it's a great idea." Marcus smirked. "They can use the motivation."

"By any chance, is the higher-up who made these suggestions Maddy?" Aisa asked. "Maybe's she's not over metahumans after all."

"Are you kidding?" Mocha chortled. "Maddy can wipe the floor with these giants. It's true."

"And that's why Maddy claimed she would enjoy having them." Marcus confirmed.

"Then who was it?" Apis questioned. "What officer from Global Command is so afraid of them? They deserve as much place in the Kids Next Door as Mocha."

"In that case… maybe you'll want to speak to Cheren directly."

 ** _King Dutchman_** (Play "Meanwhile on the Prison Ship.")

Meanwhile, in a place that is assumed to be a universe, Team Rocket was hard at work in the ship's laundry room. Thanos had placed his giant Infinity Gauntlet on the floor and ordered them to clean it, inside and outside. "Why did _I_ have to get the inside?!" Meowth's voice echoed from within. "This guy never washes his hands! What kind of alien dirt builds up under those nails?"

"Scrub faster, slaves!" Thanos demanded. "Today, Thanos begins his attack on the DC Multiverse. He will have them all exterminated by the hour."

"Heh heeeey, Thanos!" Bill poofed behind the titan's head. "Glad I caught you because I wanted to talk to you about that!" He put one hand on the giant's gold shoulder plate. "It's about that _thing_ you've been doing with destroying the planets and whatnot. I'm glad you're destructive, I'm glad you're powerful… but the thing is, we need living subjects in which to rule over."

"Thanos decides who lives and who dies." Thanos said, his moonlit eyes narrowed with murderous intent.

"That's good, I just wish you'd lean more to the living side. The Thirteen's purpose is to spread the word and reign of Lord English. Y'see, due to certain universal laws, Lord English can't extend his power to the Original Worlds unless people submit to him. So, if people CAN'T submit, less worlds to rule, less infinite power, and say good-bye to your ideal vacation world."

Thanos smashed Bill with his other hand. "I refuse to be ordered by an Earthling newborn! Thanos will destroy as many people as he desires!"

"All I'm saying is," Bill popped up between his fingers, "save that aggression for when we go to the New World. If you're really the big and strong guy you make yourself out to be, you can go one world without that sweaty gauntlet! What does the mighty Thanos have to lose?"

"No more than you… But if you wish to test Thanos's power, then he will."

"Wonderful! Then you won't mind if I also test your teamwork ability. For that reason, I'm pairing you with Yellow Diamond." Bill gestured behind him.

A shocked Thanos whipped around and saw the Gem Empress in the doorway. Yellow Diamond looked truly appalled. "You cannot _possibly_ expect me to work with this… thing."

"You had no problem working with Tallest Dirk in the old days, I'm sure you and Thanos will hit it off. The world you two will be targeting is called the Arkhamverse. Not a big deal, all you have to worry about are a couple of emo people in costumes. So, get goin' and bring us home the gold!"

"Just know that every order you give me is another reason I have to shatter you when this voyage is over." Yellow Diamond stated with malice before heading to the Portal Chamber.

"Hmm… perhaps Thanos will enjoy this." The Mad Titan smiled with interest as he followed her. "Make sure my gauntlet is twice as polished before my return." he said to Team Rocket. "And remember not to touch the gems." (End song.)

 **Arkhamverse**

A great beam pierced the dark sky and burned into the ground. Thanos and Yellow Diamond materialized in a barren field just a few miles from Gotham City. Moonlight shone through the rainclouds in the never-ending night sky. "You destroy planets for the very pleasure of destruction?" Yellow Diamond queried. "Life forms like you are despicable."

"And what are you? A guardian goddess, mother of all things? Perhaps you do not belong on this ship…"

"I care not for a planet's creatures, but each world is lush with energy that my people must feed upon. Imagine what valuable resources dwelled within those worlds you destroyed… but no, you are as lawless as the rest of them."

"The gems that I wore on my gauntlet were the Infinity Stones. There is no power greater, no energy more rich, than the infinite power within them. If these planets held any worth, they would not be extinguished so easily."

"Seeing you wear gems like common accessories disgusts me. It's clear we have completely opposite ideals."

"Indeed… but we both possess a longing desire to conquer and prove our superiority. Even someone who believes they are a just entity like yourself can't deny your own power. It's in your blood."

"What is 'blood'?"

The sky lit up again when another beam struck the earth. "Is that child sending somebody else?" Thanos asked. (Play "A Fearsome Foe" from _Paper Mario: Color Splash_!)

The person to appear from the beam was a teenage girl with light-brown skin, brown hair in a ponytail, and tribal getup. "Yellow Diamond and 'Mad Titan' Thanos, I am Avatar Korra, councilor of the Order Organization of the Inter-Dimensional Agency. By order of the IDA, the two of you are under-arrest for the widespread destruction of multiple worlds beyond your own."

"This must be one of the officers Bill warned us about." Diamond assumed.

"Stand aside, Child. Unless you want to become a speck under Thanos' boot." the titan ordered.

"Not in a hundred years, buddy!" Korra entered Avatar State and stomped a circle of jagged rocks up at Thanos, who punched through them effortlessly. He was then forced to hold up 10 giant sheets of earth Korra lifted from the ground. Korra applied pressure with her chi, but she had to dodge an electric slash from Yellow Diamond's sword. Korra collected the rain and molded giant twin axes in attempt to slice the empress, but Yellow Diamond fought back with her arms-turned-diamond. While Korra's water axes were splashed apart, Diamond still felt the strong force of their power.

"Psyche!" The dispersed water wrapped around Diamond's arms as Korra hauled the giantess overhead, quaking the earth upon impact. Thanos had pushed the flat rocks off himself and ran to smash Korra with a punch, but she flew high and trapped Thanos' fist in the ground with earthbending. Thanos struggled and yanked the chunk of earth out with his fist still inside. Korra flew higher and shot twin beams of fire that Thanos shielded with the rock chunk. With the stone now heated, Thanos spun around and chucked the stone up so fast, it hit Korra and knocked her to the ground.

Korra gasped and dodged when Yellow Diamond almost crushed her with a white diamond. Korra ran from the line of raining diamonds before punching her fists into the ground. The Avatar sent a giant burst of fire underneath and let it erupt below Yellow Diamond, who simply encased herself in a diamond shield so the flames would spread away. Korra found herself dodging a barrage of boulders that Thanos grabbed out of the earth, using water slices to chop the stones. Yellow Diamond swung a mighty kick behind Korra and sent her flying. Thanos came beside the empress, smirking while Diamond scowled at the Avatar.

The giants turned when a squadron of police cars lined up behind them. "What the hell are these things?!" Commissioner Gordon exclaimed.

"Hm hmm… this is truly enjoyable." Thanos said. He and Yellow Diamond turned fully as he announced, "We are The Thirteen's Titanic Duo! Thanos and Yellow Diamond!"

"Hopefully for the last time…" Diamond muttered. The giants made short work of the police and the city afterwards. (End song.)

 **KND Newbase**

"Numbuh 3621?" Larry MayHence knocked on the office door. "Sector W7 needs to have a word with you… and they brought guests."

"CHEREN-CHAN! !" Chimney kicked open the door without waiting for a response. "Get your dumb ass out here, dumbass!"

"GYAH!" Cheren was grabbed by the shoulders and hauled outside, stumbling on his feet before Sector W7 and the giant cadets. "Marcus? Why did you bring these cadets up here?"

"He told us that you didn't want them to join KND because of their size!" Mocha stated with anger. "Is this true?!"

"Um…" Cheren felt himself redden nervously. "I-It wasn't that _I_ didn't want them, but, well, some of the operatives raised logical concerns, and as Supreme Leader, it was my job to-"

"SLOW DOWN, BIG WORDS HURT!" Uzu thundered, rattling the smaller operatives' ears.

"Do these same operatives know you're an unaging god now?!" Apis asked hotly. "How is THAT not a logical concern?!"

"They do, alright?!" Cheren argued. "That's why they were so upset about giant cadets! And, the truth is, I…I thought they were right."

"Why did you call him an unaging god?…" Biyo asked softly.

"Marcus, take these cadets back to Arctic Base. You can't just bring a bunch of non-ops here without-"

"OI, QUIT BULLCRAPPING US and show us your God Form!" Chimney grabbed and furiously shook Cheren.

"FINE!" Cheren burned with golden flames and became God Tier. The giant children gasped with awe at his light.

"It isn't really like you to discriminate, Cheren." Marcus said. "The same Supreme Leader that allows gays, aliens, and even overaged operatives into the Kids Next Door suddenly has a problem with giants? Given what we'll be up against in 3 years, I thought you would welcome the extra firepower."

"I don't WANT extra firepower! I-I mean…" Cheren clutched his head. "Sigh, I know the Kids Next Door has evolved, but I never wanted it to go too far! I want…I want more NORMAL kids in the organization. I mean—kids who couldn't singlehandedly destroy a Teen Ninja base, topple down a 50-foot monster—stuff that Nebula, Sheila, Chris, or…or I could do. Just think of all the non-monstrous kids who watch from far away as we steal the show and save the day. If there are too many people like us, then other kids wouldn't feel worthy to join Kids Next Door."

"But we aren't even that tough!" Doran argued. "We got our butts kicked by a pink-haired girl and a raccoon girl Marcus invited!"

"I understand why you feel that way." Marcus replied. "But the Kids Next Door wasn't just about having extra firepower or deciding which operatives were better than others. It was also about helping kids find hidden potential. Mocha never would've realized how strong she was if she hadn't signed up, even IF she was bigger than all her classmates. Not to mention Carol learned she was a computer nerd. These lugs still get bullied by a bunch of kids smaller than they are. They're given the impression they're not human, anymore. I thought you'd be more sympathetic in that regard."

"But we actually have the means to make them normal again. They wouldn't need the sympathy or have to feel left out! I don't want them to think just being really strong makes you a good operative!"

"We DO know that!" Ally yelled. "It's just… well… we kind of like being giant. It's hard to explain, but…"

"It's the same way I felt." Mocha said, touching her chest. "A feeling in my heart that said… I was meant to be giant. I was meant to protect people using size and strength alone. What Caesar did to us was terrible, but for me, I felt like it was meant to happen. And I was right. …Besides, it's not fair to ban them for being giant when you don't even ban YOURSELF for being a god!"

"That's NOT what I meant to—AAAH!" Cheren was grabbed and slammed into the floor by Panini. "Ghh…" She kept a tight grip on his arms to keep him down. "Panini, what the hell are you doing?!"

"Makin' yer case, ya prejudiced little boy!"

"Panini, we both know you hate my god powers. That's exactly how some of the operatives feel about the giants- OW!" Panini punched his head against the floor.

"And yet, yer still able to have your butt kicked by a normal little lass like me."

"Yeah, like the word 'normal' suits- YOW! OW! AH!" Panini punched him three times in the face.

"You're as normal as anyone else in the KND and so are these giants. That's why you're BOTH allowed to be here! Or did ya forget? In that case, I'll BEAT the memory INTA YA!" Panini grabbed his ankles, leapt, and spun in the air before denting the floor with Cheren's body.

"Ugh… Sure, why not." Cheren conceded with a dizzy mind. "Having giants would be awesome."

"YAAAAY!" Mocha raised Cheren high. "Isn't our Supreme Leader the best?!"

"Cheren is the best!" Ally took him and hugged him to her cheek. "Thank you, Cheren!"

"YEAH, CHEREN!" Doran took him in his right hand and whirled him around.

 _"CHEREEEEN!"_ The giants took turns throwing him up and down.

"I guess that issue is resolved…" Apis said awkwardly. "But, he has a point, Panini… you never did approve of his transformation."

"I still don't." Panini stated. "His new god powers are really getting to him. He's forgotten that he's Everyone's Friend, what made him special. Good thing he has me to remind him."

* * *

 **So yeah, the IDA evolves from just being referenced in this series! It was nice to throw some action in finally. I can't wait to get back to the REAL action!**


	8. Lunch Time!

**Let me start off this chapter by welcoming Ohaymikoto, who has apparently been reading the Gameverse for a while! Now to determine the identities of other invisible fans! XP Anyhoo, I designed this chapter to make you feel hungry!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 8: Lunch Time!_**

 **KND Newbase**

"Chef Yuzu's Newbase Dining is once again open for business!" Yuzu Kurosaki beamed, wearing a chef's hat and holding a spatula and spoon. "There's nothing I can't cook and no appetite too big!"

Yuzu started to work part-time in KND Newbase after the Apocalypse. On those days, customers flew in and only ordered food from her. Sally Harper, Bon Clay Jr., Wendy Marvell, and Kirie Beatles along with other operatives worked with her and followed her recipes. "For Suki Crystal, a bowl of Everest Ice Cream, styled with snow from Mt. Everest and blueberries inside!" Yuzu placed a bowl of ice cream that looked like a mountain on Suki's table. "Eat it while it's frosty!"

"Yummyyyy!" Suki grabbed a spoon and started eating. There was a tingly chill on her teeth and a brainfreeze coursing through her body.

"For April and Mary Goldenweek, Hue Pudding, with six different colors carefully divided!" Yuzu placed a bowl of colorful pudding before her customers. "Mix it however you like!"

"It tastes like real paint!" Mary beamed. "Except it's not! Because real paint would be poisonous! April, how can you taste something, yet not taste it?"

"Artist intuition, of course."

"And of course we haven't forgotten our new giant friends!" A group of cooks worked together to bring a giant taco and bowl of orange carrot soup for the giant children. "Sind, you ordered a quintuple large Spicy Taco with salted churros at the bottom, and Doran, Giga Carrot Soup with giant Floran carrots."

Sind took the first bite of the taco. "WOW! This is even better than Dos Bros Tacos! (And not just 'cause they only make tiny ones.)"

"Doran, it's no wonder you're so orange with all those carrots!" Ally joked.

"It's not my fault Mom got me to like them."

"Hey, who wants a bite of my Halcandran Magma Burger?!" Ruby shouted, raising a burger with a burnt bun and lava for ketchup. Some of it dripped and burned the table. "Come on, it's not as hot as it looks."

"Be warned: it will melt the mouth of any normal human or non-Solaran creature." Sapphire said.

"I'll try it." Chris came over and took a bite of the burger. Everyone gaped and watched with anticipation. _"MMMMMFFF!"_ Chris's mouth was on fire and his face was red.

 _"Heh heh heh! Oh, my!" Malladus said in Chris's head. "Even I tasted that! Groudon really likes it hot!"_

With terrific willpower and a very firm throat, Chris swallowed the piece. "Pleah… _delicious!"_

"As I said." Sapphire confirmed.

"No one's more inhuman than Chris's family." Artie remarked, eating a Choco Chilidog with cream for ketchup.

"Thank you for sharing this Couple's Cake with me, Maseyfairy!" Carol Masterson said happily as she and Mason ate a white cake with hearts around it. "And paying for it decreased more of your $975 debt."

"Please stop increasing it…" Mason wept.

"If you become my full-time servant, I can happily do so."

"Not up for shrinking down throughout the summer."

"I ordered a Couple's Cake too, Mabel." Gideon Gleeful sat next to his beloved. "But specially decorated for us." The cake had light-blue icing, Gideon faces around the top, and shooting stars around the sides. _"It's got mah face on it."_

"I really hope you don't join our sector." Mabel frowned.

"YOWZA!" Lola yelped after tasting a red gelatin. "I know it's Bloody Jelly, but it tastes like REAL blood! Dude, are you killing people back there?"

"N-No!" Yuzu stuttered. "It's imported from the Underworld! The Spirit Kids Next Door brought it. We've asked them to remove any demon material. I added the extra flavors myself."

"Well, you got this vampire's approval." Lola tasted it again.

"THAT'S NOT RIKA'S BLOOD, IS IT?!" Mary screamed in horror and panic. "We need her to keep the disease from spreading! !"

"Vanellope, why did you make her watch that show?" Dillon asked, eating Night Waffles (waffles with black syrup and dots of white butter to look like stars).

"It had colorful characters." Vanel shrugged. "I told her it was paint…"

There was a loud _POP! !_ and everyone looked to Kodama, whose face was blackened as smoke emitted from her mouth. "Hehehe… So, that's why it's called the Small Kodama."

"I'm not tasting the Big Kodama." Jinta said, eating a Scrambled Eggball. "You, Ururu?"

"Um…" Before answering, Ururu ate one tree from her Tiny Forest tray.

"Boy, Yuzu, you have to be the only chef in the universe to cook with so many alien ingredients." Karin commented, eating a large Soccer Berry composed of several Gatorade flavors. "It's amazing that all those KNDs agreed to this."

"Well, the people in the Kid Council agree you humans have been through a lot in one Earth month." Vweeb said, eating large pieces of Shroom Bits on a plate.

"Incidentally, where do the ingredients for this Hue Pudding come from?" April asked.

"They're from the Mushroom Kingdom. Apparently, they started a Kids Next Door!"

"Really?" Goombella asked. "Oh my gosh, I must've inspired them! I feel, like, so important! Guys, we HAVE to visit Mushroom Kingdom after this!"

"It pays a hefty amount of coin, that's for sure." Nagisa replied. "How much did Cheren pay to have it all imported?"

"Nebula took care of the bill." Sally said as she brought Nagisa Happy Sushi; sushi with a grinning yellow face in the center. "But Cheren's got lots of paperwork to fill. I say it's well worth it after all we've been through."

 **Leader's Office**

It had been a little over an hour since Cheren's debate with the giant kids. It was somewhat of an embarrassing moment, and not just because he was beaten up by Panini in front of six cadets. After that incident, he didn't feel the same anymore.

He looked up when Larry knocked and came into his office. "Cheren, did you finish the paperwork for the imported goods? Yuzu's making quick work of them in the kitchen. Speaking of which, I brought you a Gold Cherry Pie that she made." He was holding a pie with gold cherries. "I don't think it's real gold, just some kind of topping."

"Thanks, Larry." Cheren smiled. "The papers are right there. Nowadays, kids are spending more time here than at their sectors. We might as well give them a good meal."

"Don't you wanna come eat in the mess hall? I'm sure the giants won't throw you around again." Larry chuckled.

"I think I just want peace and quiet right now. I'm going through a lot of stuff."

"Well… okay, then. Enjoy the pie!" Larry took the papers and left.

Cheren moved his papers aside to make room for the pie. He grabbed a fork and took the first bite. _"The life of a god is lonesome, isn't it 8oy?"_

Cheren whipped around in surprise. A Zoni was behind him. It had seven pupils in its left eye. "It's…It's you. Didn't you tell me about Zanifr?"

 _"Correct. Vriska Serket was my name. Still is. ;;;; P I never received a 'Thank you.'"_

"For what?"

 _"For your victory over King Panhead. Helping you achieve God Tier was always my plan. It's thanks to me that you're powerful and invinci8le. I mean, it helped, didn't it?"_

"Sigh, I guess it did… but why did you help me, anyway? What was in it for you?"

 _"Stopping Lord English, of course. We're afraid of him just as much as you are. Given that, I don't see why you wouldn't welcome the giant kids."_

"Because I don't believe sheer power and strength is going to be the answer. Nobody could get that powerful. Unless you were a god…"

 _"Well, then I guess we know the solution." :::; )_

"Hold on though, if I can become God Tier, shouldn't my siblings be able to? They're descended from the Shadow Queen like I am."

 _"Hmmm, I suppose they should… 8ut I never quite 'felt' it from them, if you know what I mean."_

"What _do_ you mean?"

 _"It didn't seem like they were cut out to 8e gods, they weren't 8orn with it. Not like you were, Cheren. You're the wisest, the kindest, and the most fiercest of all your human friends. You deserve to 8e God!"_

"Hardly." He turned around and bit into his Gold Cherry Pie again.

 _"It's a curious family you have, Cheren. Your 8rother's a devil, you're the god, and your sister could 8e the saint!"_

"But I never wanted to be a god. I just wanted to keep being a normal kid, regardless of the kinds of villains we fought. Sigh… but I guess fate had other plans."

 _"There really is nothing to 8e ashamed a8out. While you've 8een sailing on your ship, the Thirteen Darknesses have conquered hundreds of worlds in Lord English's name. And he's 8ecoming more powerful as a result. The only thing keeping him from doing any serious damage is Arceus. So, it's a shame when mortals don't appreci8 gods like yourself." ;;;; )_

"Why does it matter to you, anyway?"

 _"8ecause I'm a God Tier, too. Like you, or Zanifr. And I understand your plight." :::: )_

"Did your friends give you grief?"

 _"Oh, they give me lots of grief. That's why I'm positive we can 8e friends!"_

"Well, friends don't keep secrets from each other, and I feel like you trolls are keeping dozens of secrets from us."

 _"It isn't that we want to keep the secret, we just don't know the 8est way of telling you. 8ut we don't mean anything 8ad 8y it. And if you ever need a friend to turn to, I'm always here for you." :::: )_

"That's sweet, but I can't exactly add you to my Girlfriend Scrap Book until I see you in person." He smirked.

 _"Well, that'll 8e something to look forward to! You seem like a way cooler leader than Karkat."_

"He's the one who yells all the time, right? Hyeah, he's really got some anger issues. And that's coming from Mr. Demon State." Cheren chuckled and took another bite of pie.

 _"At least you had good reasons for getting mad. Karkat just gets angry whenever the mood strikes him. Which is all the time."_

"Heheh, reminds me of Terry! Ever try shrinking him? Maybe that'd calm him down."

 _"Hey, I was shrinking people 8efore you even existed, don't tell that to me." ;:;: )_

"I guess we know where we got it from. …So, uh, who else is in your crew, anyway?"

"Hello, Cheren!" Yuzu barged into the office, Cheren flinching. "I just came to collect your plate if you were finished. Doesn't that Space Honey taste delicious when it melts in your mouth and sticks between your teeth? ?"

"Oh, it's honey? I thought it was some sort of gold!" Cheren grinned, showing a web of the shiny honey in his teeth.

"Apparently, it's from a hive of gigantic space-bees, and it was really hard to acquire. I thought if anyone would love it, it would be you!"

"Well, consider me in love! …!" Cheren blushed. "Metaphorically."

"Don't you wanna come eat in the cafeteria? Food is much more tasty when you're around friends! It's a proven scientific fact!"

 _"It's not!"_ Emily called.

"Oh, that's alright, I…" Cheren glanced behind him. The Zoni was gone. "…have to finish this paperwork."

"Oh, it'll still be here when you get back. Everyone's having a good time, you should join us!"

"Nah, I'm enjoying the quiet. Besides, those giants took a lot of my energy."

"If you say so. Back to the kitchen with me! Bye-bye!" Yuzu twirled and exited the office.

Cheren looked around the room, wondering if Vriska hid. _Bing!_ He looked at his computer screen. _ArachnidsGrip wants to chat._ Curious, Cheren clicked on the message. A black chat screen came up as blue text was written.

 _AG: Thought it 8e 8etter if no one heard us. Wouldn't wanna ruin the quiet. ;;;; )_

Cheren smiled and typed: _Hehe, you make a guy feel comfy. Should I have a chat name?_

 _AG: Nah, you can use your real name._

 _But I want one! I'll be… Heroboy3621!_

 _AG: That's so dum8. I'll call you GoldenChild._

 _GC: Fine by me._

 _AG: To answer your question, there's lots of us. A 8lind chick named Terezi, she prophesized the prophecy. I mean, she didn't write it, she saw it coming._

 _GC: Which came first, the prophecy or the prophesizer?_

 _AG: LOL! Anyway, there's Tavros, he's a wheelchair guy. I shrunk him once. ;;;; )_

 _GC: Grl, stop shrinking people. I'll get Mr. York to kick your ass. ;)_

 _AG: I'll gra8 me a lightsa8er and cut his wanna8e Jedi ass._

 _GC: lol wannabe Batman._

 _AG: Jedi 8atman?_

 _GC: OMG he would be a great one!_

 _GC: Hey, want some of my pie?_

 _AG: Sure, I'll just eat it through the screen. :::: )_

 _GC: lol I thought you could warp it with your Zoni thing or something._

 _AG: My superiors don't want me to. Just descri8e it for me._

 _GC: ok. … Think of a highly saturated honey syrup, melting in your mouth along with the cherry… sigh, I'm not a food critic, I can't describe it. It's just really really really good._

 _AG: Mmmm… I can t8s it. :::: )P_

 _GC: Ha ha ha! :)_

 **Mess Hall**

"Since I'm dead, I can't actually taste anything." Django said as he was holding an Expired Sandwich, composed of rotten egg salad, decayed fish corpse, and moldy bread. "Any food that goes into my mouth becomes dead ash. That's why the quality of the food lies in its age." With that, he chomped the sandwich in his boney jaws. It dissolved, expelling a toxic aroma around the room. Arianna's Celery Blossom wilted, and even Mason and Haruka wanted to cover their noses. "Ahhhh… delicious. Hey, Emo Girl, give me some of that ice cream to wash it down." Django requested from Miyuki.

"Uhh… ok." Miyuki handed her bowl of Spidey Cream (vanilla ice cream with blackberry spiders) to Django, who scooped and ate a few chunks. They melted in his mouth and dripped onto the floor. "WAITER, cleanup on Table 5!"

"I'm starting to think you're doing that on purpose…" Wendy said as she flicked her wand to send the mess flying into a trashcan.

"The customer is always right, right?"

"Wendy, could you do Table 7 when you're done with that?" Sally asked. "They're having another muffin-stuffing contest."

"Not again…" Wendy moaned.

A few tables over, Sheila Frantic, Chimney, Index, and Crest were squeezing large quantities of muffins into their mouths, chewing them so they would fit better. Their cheeks were as big and puffy as balloons. _"Tht blke Uh-gstus say he wnts te be lke meh."_ Sheila muffled through chews. _"He gnn hve te et mrr thn meh."_

 _"Nani?"_ Chimney asked.

"Please don't talk with your mouth full, guys." Sally told them.

"Chimney's belly is bouncy when it's full." Aeincha blushed. She was dipping her hand into a giant tub of (edible) Hair Cream and licking it off.

"Index, are you sure there isn't another wormhole in your stomach?" Nagisa asked.

 _"Crst is cheating!"_ Index pointed accusingly. _"He's expndng hs chks wth hs pwr!"_

 _"Sharry, didn't catch that."_ Crest replied; his cheeks were the puffiest despite him being the smallest. The sides of his crescent head were round like twin moons.

"Their mouths are even bigger than ours!" Ally said in awe.

"Heh heh! Being with Chimney for three months, I can confirm that!" Mocha laughed.

"Whoa, look at Fybi's bubblegum!" Harvey Harper shouted.

It was only then everyone noticed the gigantic pink balloon expanding from Fybi's mouth. She sucked breath in through her nose and released a little at a time into the balloon. It was made from a sturdy candy rubber that could be easily molded, endlessly stretch, but never rupture unless hit with a strong force.

"And HERE COMES THE BOOM!" Aisa launched a light arrow from Fybi's B.O.W.. _BOOM! ! !_ A burst of wind blew all the food off the tables and against the walls (and into peoples' faces).

"KYAAAAAA! !" Yuzu screamed so loud that her hair stood on end. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LUNCH ROOM?!"

Chimney took a big gulp to swallow her muffins. "AISA-CHAN DID IT!" ("Gyom-gyom!")

"Hee hee hee!" Aisa grinned sheepishly. "It just got so big, I couldn't resist!"

In an instant, Yuzu whacked her with a ladle. "OW!"

"Food isn't something to play with!" the chef stated firmly. "It's not for throwing around the room or seeing how much of it you can fit in your mouth. When I asked for this post, I dreamed of a lunch room where everyone can come in and ask for a fantastic, inventive, and nutritious meal, and leave with happy bellies and happy mouths! And if all of us ate together, our mouths and bellies would be even happier!"

"None of this is supported by science! !" Emily called.

"Listen, this 3-year voyage is going to be over before you know it. It's important for you to balance training with a healthy diet. My recipes are specially designed to satisfy the needs of every customer – from spicy foods for firebenders, gaseous foods for poisonbenders, or juicy foods for waterbenders. I can't work in this kitchen all the time, but I will help you the best I can. So, I expect you to show my meals your respect."

Sheila swallowed all her muffins. "Bleh… she's right. I remember 'ow hungry I was after that bloody Candy Adventure."

"Knowing Aisa's mischievousness, mayhaps I should hath blown bubble outside." Fybi said.

"We're sorry, Yuzu." Aisa blushed.

"Alright, then." Yuzu nodded. "Fix 'er up, Kayla."

MaKayla King used the Chrono Staff to Rewind the room's time to before Aisa popped Fybi's gum. Everyone's food returned to the tables, so they resumed eating. "And they say life has no Reset button!"

"You make things unfairly easy for us." Dillon chuckled.

"Well, we have to fight unfairly powerful opponents in 3 years, so who cares!" Kayla took a bite of her Multi-Degree Pizza—a pizza whose 8 divided areas were cooked at different times ranging from raw to burnt.

"And thus, order is restored." Yuzu said proudly. "Ah, and I see Cheren's Kool-Aid is ready." Kirie brought her a small glass of the sugary red liquid. "Any trouble getting it?"

Kirie shook her head, smiling innocently as she whipped up a baseball bat. "Hey, Yuzu, ya mind if I take this ta him?" Panini asked. "Ay wanna try and invite him to the party."

"Sounds fine by me. Make sure he takes a hearty gulp!"

Panini took the Kool-Aid and headed for Cheren's office. Before she knocked, she heard a _"Heh heh heh heh!"_ She cocked a brow and barged in. "HEY, CHERRY!"

"COUGH!" Cheren choked on the last golden cherry with a start.

"Whatcha lookin' at, boy?" Pan smirked, seeing him on the computer. "Funny fanfic, funny video? Don't ya have more important things to do than look at that stuff?"

"Excuse a guy for wanting some entertainment."

"If you want entertainment, come to the lunch room." Panini placed the Kool-Aid on his desk. "Everyone's having a lot of fun. You ought to come, it's not the same without ya!"

"I'll join you soon, there's just a few more papers I wanna get done."

"…Ya sure you aren't upset about me beatin' you up?"

"You beat me up all the time, Panini!" Cheren grinned, exposing the gold on his teeth. "Don't pride yourself on this one!"

"…Ay guess I won't, then." Panini frowned suspiciously. "See ya." She left.

 _AG: She don't get to hear a8out me? I'm special!_

 _GC: I don't want her to get jealous. XD_

 _GC: Or tease me about having "so many girlfriends."_

 _AG: Cheren the play8oy. :::: )_

 _GC: lol ye. You got any boyfriends?_

 _AG: None that are willing._

 _GC: You really are a spider woman. :P Where do you live, a web?_

 _AG: I wish. 8ut no, just a crummy space fortress. Used to 8e a house, 8ut… you know. Apocalypse._

 _GC: Sorry. ^^; Maybe it'll come back when this is over._

 _AG: Wanna come over if it does?_

 _GC: This is going too fast! =P_

 _AG: Okay, okay. L8rd English first. ;;;; P Can't w8 until you get here!_

 _GC: Can't w8 either. :)_

* * *

 **If you remember _Operation: MASKED_ , Vriska talked to Majora during those chat scenes in a similar manner. So, this was a nifty throwback! Inspiration for this chapter lied in _Paper Mario_ 's recipes. Ah, how I miss those. X) If you got any food ideas, I'd be happy to hear them. ;)**


	9. Rebellion

**My mom broke her nose and got sent to the hospital today… so, that was a fun Friday. …Sigh, I don't even care about finishing this, anymore. I wanna start my _Paper Mario_ story. Or maybe I'll write _Terry's Tantrum_. :3**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 9: Rebellion_**

 **KND Newbase**

 _GC: So, how old did you say you were?_

 _AG: 6 sweeps._

 _GC: Sweeps?_

 _AG: 12 Earth years. ;;;; )_

 _GC: ok. Alien calendar. :P_

 _AG: Well, we were around first._

 _GC: Whatever. What else was your planet like? Color of sky, food you eat?_

 _AG: It was 8lue like yours. Our food was generally the same too, we ate 8urgers, fries, apples…_

 _GC: Wow, your culture is so unique. *sarcasm*_

 _AG: If you want to mouth at me, you shouldn't be procrastin8ing._

 _GC: I'm the Supreme Leader, I can do whatever I-_

"CHERRY PIE!" Nebula splorped inside his office. Cheren yelped and slapped his laptop shut.

"NUMBUH 3621!" Larry MayHence burst in. "Our sensors detected an intruder of incredible power inside the Newbase! Oh, it's just Nebula." He smiled casually. "Ha ha! Didn't mean to scare ya like that!" He left.

"Hm hm hm! I scared him first, by the way." Nebula laughed.

"Yeah, he did that with me the other day. Whatchu want, Nebula?"

"If you weren't doing anything besides goofing off on the Internet, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to the Mushroom Kingdom and recruit the newly formed Kids Next Door into the council."

"Doesn't the Goddess of the Universe already have everyone as her subjects?"

"Maybe, but it's not gonna last forever. After I change everything back, I still want to build up our allies."

"I'll come along, I guess." Cheren stood up and prepared to leave his office. "I just thought you would've done it by now."

"It's not the same without my buddy." she replied, following him out. "And besides, the people of Mushroom honor stars and Star Spirits. They're probably fans of your father for repairing the Star Rod. They'd love to meet you."

"I guess I shouldn't disappoint. Panini, I'm going to Mushroom Kingdom with Nebula." Cheren told his Global Officer. "You're in charge of the base 'til I get back."

"Cheren, Ay think someone else wants ta come with ya." Panini smirked.

"Who?"

"The pink mushroom right behind ya."

Cheren turned—he was startled by the sight of Goombella right behind his legs. She made big pleading eyes and asked, "Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaa…"

"How did you even hear about it?"

"My-sector-came-here-for-lunch-and-I-saw-Nebula-and-thought-that's-where-you-were-going –eeeeeaaaaaassssssseee…"

"Geez, all right, you can come. It might help make our case."

"YES!" Goombella twirled. "Don't worry, guys, just leave the talking to me!"

 **Mushroom Kingdom; en route to KND H.Q.**

"You've been talking to one of the trolls?" Nebula asked Cheren while piloting the Shooting Star. "How… did you say she found your computer?"

"Advanced chatting technology, I guess. We're going to have to work with these guys in the future, so it doesn't hurt to get to know 'em now. I'm sure you'd like to learn about their culture."

"True, but I wouldn't let my guard down. You know how it is with mysterious inter-dimensional entities who foresee our destiny."

"Pipe down, guys, we're almost there!" Goombella shouted.

The Mushroom KND main treehouse looked like a giant mushroom with smaller mushroom-shaped branches, growing out of a giant pipe. "In fact, did you know that pipes are actually plants that grow in the ground?" Goombella said knowledgeably.

"Really?" Cheren asked. "I thought it was because everyone used the bathroom a lot. Or, is that still the case?"

"We have toilets for that, too, silly. But most pipes are used for transportation."

"You know, they originally thought of installing transport tubes in Coruscant." Nebula mentioned. "But then they thought there'd be a lot of tubes." She pressed the speaker button. "Attention Mushroom KND. I am Numbuh Eternal, Supreme Leader of Galactic Kids Next Door, and I am here to request an audience with your leader."

"Nice, Nebula, you don't sound like an alien at all!" Cheren remarked with a hint of sarcasm.

There was no response for 10 seconds. Afterwards, there was a high-pitched girl's voice, _"This is Numbuh Top T., you have permission to enter."_

The Shooting Star parked in the mushroom's hangar. Two Kid Koopatrols (Koopas in 4x4 armor) escorted the three guests to the uppermost floor, located in the roof of the mushroom. The Supreme Leader, Numbuh Top T. (Toadette), was a girl Toad with a pink cap with white polka-dots and pigtails. Around her were Sector Leaders – among them a Goomba with a blue cap, an orange Bob-omb, a blue-shelled Koopa with a red neckerchief, a Boo with big round glasses, a baby Koopa that hasn't left his egg, and an orange Blooper. The leaders were murmuring to each other as they looked at their guests with concern and suspicion.

"That's right, folks, your inspiration has arrived!" Goombella cheered and did a twirl. "You heard right, I'm the one and only Goombella, the first Goomba to EVER join the Human Kids Next Door! These two are my Supreme Leaders, so I speak for them when I say we are HAPPY to welcome you to the Kids Next Door Empire!"

". . . . . ." The operatives exchanged confused glances. "Ugh, just throw the chi-cuffs on them!" Toadette ordered.

The Koopatrol Kids whipped out handcuffs and latched them on Nebula and Cheren. "What-?!" Cheren exclaimed.

"Don't think of trying anything!" Six Bob-ombs in ninja outfits landed around them. "We're ready to blow!"

"Numbuh Top T., what's the meaning of this?!" Nebula demanded.

"We knew you would be coming here to recruit us into your 'empire.'" Toadette stated. "We established this KND for the sole purpose of luring you here. You may already know this, Numbuh Eternal, but you're probably the most infamous girl in the universe. Even us Mushroom World denizens know about the daughter of Dimentia, hundreds of Supreme Leaders in her command, millions of kids under her beck and call. You never sounded like an evil person… until you went and shrunk all our worlds. Being an empress wasn't enough, you wanted to evolve to goddess."

"Wait, you got it all wrong!" Cheren reasoned. "Nebula shrunk our worlds to protect them from Lord English!"

"We ALL heard the story." Kooper, the blue-shelled Koopa informed. "But you can't just project your gihugic face in the sky and not expect billions of people to panic."

"And you have every right to panic." Nebula replied. "But if I didn't shrink your worlds, they would've been destroyed. I'm not the bad one here."

"We can understand WHY you did what you did." Toadette said. "The real question is if we can trust you. The power you used to shrink our worlds was Jirachi's power. As long as you have it, you can do anything. You could force everybody to obey you. You may have earned the loyalty of those other leaders at first, but under these circumstances, how do you know they aren't following you out of fear?"

"I told the leaders what I was going to do and they trusted me to protect them."

"It was a choice between letting their worlds be destroyed by the Apocalypse or allowing them to live under your protection and power. How is that not fear?!"

"My only wish is to destroy Lord English and save our universe. I plan to restore everyone's planets when the battle is finally over, but we would have a better chance at winning if we had as many friends and allies as possible. I established the Galactic Kid Council for this very situation."

"Then let me ask you something else: just how many planets did you save? Was there room in this ' _Noah_ ' for _every_ planet, or did you only save the ones that you thought would be of use to you?"

"I…" Nebula bit her lip. This was her most guilty decision. "You're right… I couldn't save every world. I worked on saving important worlds like Mobius, Avalar, Lunaria, Symphonia, and any world that I knew was heavily populated. I didn't waste time with uninhabited planets. The _Noah_ couldn't contain them all and I didn't have enough time to save any more. The universe is endless, there's probably billions of planets and races that… were destroyed. If I knew this was going to happen, I would've spent more time…"

"It's not your fault." Cheren said. "I'm the one who kept the Apocalypse secret until we had one month to act."

"Well, even if you did, we still didn't know where Jirachi was. We didn't think it would come to this. But you guys have to understand." she said to the Mushroom leaders. "I never felt any kind of pleasure with shrinking the worlds. All I felt was anxiety, responsibility, and guilt. And annoyance since Galaxians are ALWAYS wanting to travel…"

"But you are trustworthy." Cheren stated. "And you guys can count on Nebula to protect our worlds. But if you don't wanna sign an allianceship, you don't have to."

"You know, I change my mind about that." Nebula said, casually warping the chi-cuffs off herself and Cheren. "On further inspection, this KND is too undeveloped to be part of the empire."

"SHE WARPED THE CHI-CUFFS OFF! !" Bub the orange Bob-omb screamed.

"Duh. I still have Jirachi's God Chi. It takes more than one measly chi-block to hold that. Anyway, I realize now that YOU operatives probably have NO real experience. You're just a bunch of kids that felt like building a treehouse and starting some phony rebellion."

"Isn't that how _every_ KND was founded?" Toadette questioned.

"Maybe, but those kids had the gumption to fight for it." Neb smirked.

"How's THIS for a fight?!" declared Jr. Troopa, the Koopa in the egg. "WAAAAAAH-!" He charged for the attack—Cheren went God Tier and grabbed his little baby fist. "I GIVE I GIVE I GIVE I GIVE!"

"Nebula, I still don't understand what you're trying to do here." Cheren replied, not releasing Troopa's fist. ("Waaaaahhhh!")

"The fact is, this KND didn't start a rebellion against a tyrannical ruler, you started one against a kind ruler. Which is why you are undeserving to sign this treaty!" Nebula smiled, floated up, drew the treaty from her pocket, and tore it to pieces.

"W-Wait!" Toadette spoke up. "We didn't mean to hurt your feelings. You sounded sincere when you said all that, so-"

"Too late. If you guys want another shot at me, go take down Bowser. Hasn't he been kidnapping your princess enough? Cheren, Goombella, I'll be waiting in the Shooting Star, come on when you're ready to leave." With that, she floated off.

"I'm still open for autographs if anyone wants one!" Goombella smiled.

". . . . . ." There was still no response. "We don't know you." Boostein said.

"Wellp, this trip was a waste of time." The Goomba frowned. "I'm confused about something though. If you guys never signed a treaty with Nebula, then why did the Newbase get Mushroom Kingdom food?"

"Well, that stuff came from Roguetown." Cheren answered, finally releasing Jr. Troopa.

"Even the Hue Pudding? Roguetown doesn't sell that."

"Hue Pudding?" Goombario the blue-capped Goomba heard this. "That comes from Prism Island. We don't have a KND branch there, yet."

"The paper said it was from Roguetown. Maybe I'll check up on that…" Cheren figured. "Well, we'll see you guys later. Sorry for the trouble." The two proceeded to leave. Jr. Troopa sucked on his aching fist, glaring in Cheren's direction with hatred.

 ** _Noah_** **; Planet Storage**

Nebula sent Goombella back to Earth, while Cheren accompanied her in the _Noah_. "I guess you can't expect to win them all, right Nebs?"

"I expected this type of thing to happen eventually. I didn't expect Mushroom Kingdom to put up much fight, but I wanted to bring you just in case."

"Oh, for protection, right." Cheren sweatdropped.

"They were right, though… there were so many planets I could've saved. So many species…"

 _"You need not fear."_

The two gasped at the echoing voice. Nebula recognized it, so she hurried to the ship's deck with Cheren behind her. It was then they remembered the Encyclopod, the tremendous manta who led their voyage through the endless vortex.

 _"The burden you feel is mine too, Nebula. I have taken the liberty of rescuing as many species as I could in the vast reaches of the universe. There were many souls who had to perish, sadly… but if our voyage is successful, they may yet be reborn. Don't forget, Nebula… you are only human. (Well, somewhat.) The life of **all** beings is not solely your responsibility."_

"Well, that softens the blow a little…"

 _"Indeed… however, I fear for the worlds suffering under the tyranny of the Thirteen Darknesses. They are_ not _in such capable hands…"_

 **Original Mushroom Kingdom**

Like many worlds in the Dimensional Fusion, the Mushroom Kingdom also had an origin. The people of this world were in a deep panic—a vortex appeared in the sky, and it was expanding, the earth was shaking. The people had only seen this one other time before. And it seemed like the same person was responsible.

Dimentio Z. Winkiebottom's terrifying mismatched face was displayed in the sky. _"So… this was the universe where my original self came from. The one who was so unfortunately destroyed. By such adorable little urchins. Their pitiful cries of agony… **irritate** me. But I'll fix that."_

Dimensional gaps cracked across the earth and the air. Dimentio, using the most minimal effort, tore pieces apart, sent Toads drifting to the air like fallen leaves, placed snowy mountains in the desert and skies in the ocean… _"After all… if the multiverses will not bow to Lord English… then they will tremble before **ME! ! !"**_

* * *

 **Now you guys can understand why the Mushroom Kingdom wasn't so trusting toward Nebula. :P**


	10. The Day a God Cried

**Let's start this chapter by wishing IDA a happy birthday! :D He's currently the Gameverse's strongest supporter as his forces struggle to protect the multiverses from The Thirteen!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 10: The Day a God Cried_**

Arceus conjured a hundred suns around his enemy and had them crash into Lord English like meteors. English nimbly dodged them by slowing down time and flew to stab his golden sword into Arceus' belly. Arceus blocked the attack with psychic, then expanded a psychic bubble to bounce English away. The minute the psychic vanished, Arceus was tackled by dozens of Paradox Clones from all sides, forcing him to counter with a trillion lightning bolts. Arceus teleported a few space-miles off and watched his opponent as he caught his breath.

 _All along… this creature—this… phony god… It was he who brought chaos to my creation. Forced me to destroy it. Nothing has filled me with greater dread, has crushed my soul more… than what I did._

 _"Well, that's what I think he's thinking, at least. Arceus was always a kind god, he still is. I think he just did it out of love, 8ut the pain is still with him. You would, too, if you saw our world."_

The sun rose over a small, quiet neighborhood. It consisted of ordinary houses, shops, benches, and colorful flowers within bright green grass. The sign at the entrance of the village read _Gray Garden_.

"Dress – up! Dress – up! Shirt – shoes – pants!" Someone was awake and spry one morning. "Eat – ing – break – fast – brush – my – teeth! Get – my – back – pack – time – for – school. Time – to – join – my – friends-and-get-to-class!"

Her name was Yosafire, and she was a troll with bright green hair, garbed in a red sweater, black pants, and red boots. She had a Cross on her sweater, bat wings, and a red hat over her right horn – hiding that it was broken. "Hey, Fuh-roze! FUH-ROO-OOOZE!" She knocked on her neighbor's door. "Wake uuuu-uuuup."

Froze opened the door. She was an angel in a gray dress with giant buttons, white boots, and had blonde hair in two long, sharp pigtails. Her big blue eyes lacked emotion. "Yosaf, class isn't until one hour from now."

"I knooooow! Doesn't mean I can't spend time with my bestest buddy ever!" She nudged Froze with her elbow.

"You didn't do your homework again, did you?"

 _"Pleeeeaaaase?"_ Yosaf made puppy eyes.

"Siiigh. Get inside."

 _"Angels? Were they like Nimbis?" Cheren asked._

 _"Yep! They were the original Nim8i! That was our intention, anyway. 8ut most of our angels were more mystical…ish."_

 _"So, trolls and angels lived together? Gray Garden doesn't sound all that gray."_

 _"I know, I think it's called that 8ecause we have gray skin."_

 _"Really? I don't know any human cities called Peach Garden or Brown Garden…"_

 _"Very funny. And yeah, races got along pretty well, I don't think we always used to, 8ut we were chill with each other. Well, may8e not completely…"_

When the hour had passed, school was in session. The school building looked just like any you'd see on Earth. Hundreds of trolls and angels were in attendance. "You know Miss Greif is gonna be able to tell if you copied, so let's recap: when was the Diamond Authority established?" Froze asked.

"Uhhh… 200 sweeps ago?"

"You're cold, Yosafire."

"Look, Froze, it's Dialo!" Yosaf pointed at a red-haired troll in a black shirt and white stockings—without warning, Dialo grabbed Yosaf and embraced her in a kiss. "YAAAAAAH!" She punched Dialo off with fury in her fist. "What do you think you're doing, creep?!"

"He was professing his love to you, of course!" replied Vriska Serket, a troll with long black hair and an eyepatch over her left glasses lens. "Dialo has always loved you. Isn't that right, Chelan?" she said to an angel with a halo.

Chelan had short blonde hair and green eyes, but her mouth was hidden by her collar. She wore a thick blue dress with big white Cross stripes, blue boots with mini wings, and hovered a few inches off the floor. _"_ _"_ She hummed nervously. (Unfortunately, music notes can't be typed on FanFiction.)

"Grrrrr! YOU BRAINWASHED HIM, didn't you?!"

"Oh, how did you figure it out?" Vriska smirked. "Pro8a8ly 8ecause no one in their right mind would love you."

"Guess again! Froze loves me! Don't you, Froze?" Yosaf hugged her BFF.

 _"8efore you ask, yes I did use psychic8ending to make Dialo kiss Yosaf. Since there were no other gods to decide 8enders, we're just 8orn with our 8ending naturally."_

 _"So, you were a bully. That's original." Cheren remarked._

 _"Oh, and you're a passion8 leader who goes to extremes to protect his friends and is uncommonly kindhearted. That's original." :::: P_

 _"So, will this be a story where you're a bully on the outside, but inside you just want people to accept you and you really want Yosafire to be your friend?"_

 _"Screw that. I know who I am and I'm proud of it. My attitude makes me distinguished."_

 _"Okay, but it seems like this story's more about Yosafire than you._ _I wanna hear about you, not them."_

 _"Alright, if you insist, I'll change narr8ives for a little 8it."_

Vriska was on her bed after school one day, laptop on her belly. Her expression was lazy and her room was dim. Spiders took residence in the corners and desks. She used psychic to bring over a slice of pizza with a web design.

 _"As you can see, my life was very exciting."_

 _"Fine, but it's still you. Why is Yosafire so important—how do you even know all that about her?"_

 _"8ecause the story's not really a8out me OR her. It's a8out Arceus."_

 _"Oh…"_

 _"Okay, let's fast-forward to after school. You know what school's like, you don't need to hear it. Yosafire and Froze were going to 8ake apple pie. First, they had to pick some…"_

"Yosafire, I'm gonna fly home to get started on homework." Froze told her as they were leaving. "Why don't you go to the forest and get 5 apples?"

"Mm-hm!" Yosafire was nodding to earbuds.

"Did you hear me?"

"Ya ya, 50 apples!"

" _Five_ apples."

"Don't worry, Froze, I got it!"

"Sigh… Alright, see you later." Froze flapped her wings and took off.

 _"Sorry – just one more question: if all trolls have a certain way of talking, shouldn't Yosafire?"_

 _"It's ta8oo for trolls to use another troll's type."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"No, 8ut if I type in a 8unch of different styles, your head will explode. Moving on…"_

Yosafire hummed merrily as she skipped into the Apple Forest. Apples grew on trees, apples lay on the ground, apples sat on the benches. Yosafire climbed a tree, picked 15 apples, and put them in her pockets. She got 15 more from another tree, then 14, then 17, then 21, then 16, then 15…

An hour later, she came over to Froze's house. "Hi, Froze! I got the apples!"

"THAT'S WAY TOO MANY APPLES!" Froze screamed at the pile of 150 apples.

"Oops." Yosaf blushed. "I was wondering why we were making a gihugic pie."

"Uuuugh! What are we supposed to do with all them?"

"Let's invite our friends over! We'll bake a bunch of apple pies and have an Apple Pie Party!"

"We'll still have too many apples left over."

"Don't worry, Froze. I know just what to do with them."

 _"Let me guess, she names them all after the First Generation Pokémon!" Cheren exclaimed._

 _"Um… no. 8ut that is something she would do. Anyway, Yosaf and Froze have two more friends named Raw8erry and Macarona. Raw8erry's a vampire troll that loves to eat 8ugs and small animals, and Macarona's an angel that's generally repulsed by that."_

 _"That explains some movies. Actually, Rawberry sounds like my cousin, Berry. Well, a mix of her and Lola."_

 _"Isn't it funny how things line up? ;;;; ) Anyway, they go to Raw8erry's house to cook the apples 8ecause she has a 8igger table. They invite Dialo and Chelan to the party, too…"_

"Ahhh… I couldn't eat another bite." Dialo sighed in relief.

 _"_ _"_ Chelan's belly was full.

"Next time, let's have a Bat Blood Party." Rawberry smirked.

"Let's not…" Macarona said.

"Absolutely delicious!" Yosafire beamed. "And we still have one pie left!"

"The one who gets it shouldn't be you." Froze stated. "You eat too much as it is."

"Hey, I get plenty of exercise! Don't forget who had to carry all those apples!"

"Does anyone wanna save it?" Macarona asked.

"No, I wanna take it." Yosafire picked the pie up. "I'm gonna see if God wants it!"

"He's visiting today?" Froze asked.

"Yep, I saw him earlier! I'll tell him you said 'hi'!"

Yosafire raced out the exit to town, crossing a vast and colorful field of flowers. Bees and butterflies were buzzing about in harmony. A soft breeze whisked across the earth. Yosafire was entering some ruins; monochrome pillars and gems, and soon she was climbing a monochrome palace, believed to have been built by the Gem Empire. Yosaf and her friends have been here before, usually to play since it was abandoned. Apple pie still in hand, Yosaf was at the top of the structure. "Hi, Arceus! I made this pie for you!"

At the highest point, Yosafire stood directly before God Arceus's face. The palace was set over a towering cliff, below which Arceus stood. _"Is that apple pie I smell? I am a bit famished. And it's for me?"_

"Of course! Even God needs to eat!"

 _"Then who am I to refuse?"_ Using telekinesis, Arceus lifted the pie into the air. It drifted toward his unseen mouth and vanished into his godly form. _"It was even more delicious than your last one."_

"I try my very best!"

 _"Thank you, Yosafire. …Are you sure you don't want me to fix your horn?"_

"Huh?" Yosaf took her hat off, exposing the broken horn. "I don't think it's that bad. It's kinda cute, don't you think?"

 _"Well, if it doesn't bother you, I shall not interfere."_

"Oh! Froze and the others said 'Hi' by the way! Well, not really—you probably know."

 _"I do. But I still appreciate the gesture. Tell them I said 'Hello' as well."_

"I will! Bye-bye, God Arceus!" Yosafire made the merry skip home. Arceus smiled at her bright spirit.

 _"Arceus gave mortals life. He gave them emotions and the a8ility to think. And for a time, that was all he thought they needed."_

Arceus traveled to Alternia, the world of the trolls and angels. He traveled to Indo, a nighttime indigo world of salamanders, also known as Land of Wind and Shade. He visited Ore, a world of gray stone beings called Ores. However, the Gem race of Emera insisted on keeping him away.

 _"8ecause there was no esta8lished law, there was nothing separ8ing mortals and spirits. Arceus came and went to the worlds as he pleased. He loved each and every creature he cre8d."_

Arceus gazed at the universe from very far away. He had view of each and every living being. Seeing them all filled him with joy. They lived in bliss and harmony.

 _"…8ut inside, he was suffering."_

What Arceus really saw wasn't at all beautiful. On days when he visited Gray Garden, the monochrome temple hasn't even been built, yet. When the Gems tried to take over that territory, Yosafire, Froze, Chelan, and all Gray Garden's citizens fought them. And then the next day, they wouldn't remember. That's because those versions of Yosaf and Froze died, leaving their children, Yosafire and Froze – same names and same identities – to grow up alone.

"Wuh-oh! Froze, the gravity's going off again!" Yosafire exclaimed when everyone in Gray Garden began floating. "Wheeeee!"

"Froze, I'll race you across the ocean!" Yosafire raced across the sea as if it was solid land.

"It'll liquefy eventually." Froze said.

On another day, Yosafire was wearing a swimsuit. She had resurfaced above the ground and spat out a mouthful of liquid earth. "Come on, Froze, the land is great!"

"It'll solidify eventually."

Black holes randomly opened and closed wherever. When people slept, their subconscious bodies took solid form and remained awake until they went to sleep—it was like everyone had two bodies. If someone died, their zombies would rise on a distant planet, but they could always fly back to their homeworld and continue their normal lives.

 _"Arceus saw our universe for what it truly was: chaos. And its citizens merely lived in 8lissful ignorance. 8ut Arceus knew it was false 8liss. It was slowly destroying us. You can imagine how much it hurt him… to do what he did."_

With a terrific and humongous godly breath, Arceus accumulated all the energy of the universe into one core. The core grew bigger and bigger, like a spiraling white planet. "Look, Froze!" Yosafire pointed as everyone in Gray Garden stared with delight. "It's so pretty!"

"Muh…" Vriska cared not and kept her vision down.

And the core continued to expand and expand… until finally, Arceus slurped it into his lungs. **_"RAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"_** And he released it all: a supernova bigger than any in existence, sweeping across the cosmos. Yosafire's bright smile was outweighed by the nova's light, as was all the peace in Alternia. The entire planet and its happy inhabitants were erased, and thousands of worlds were to follow Arceus's wrath.

Vriska Serket awoke on an island in the middle of empty space. She looked around, fascinated. Certainly not how she was planning to spend her day. Close to her was the angel, Chelan. She still kept silent except for humming, but she was also curious. And across the space were others lost in the ruin, like Karkat, Terezi, Nepeta, or Majora and Sanula.

 _"Survivors of the universe… I am Arceus. I know you all are very confused about what's happened. The truth is… this dimension was chaos and disorder. So chaotic that it was slowly crumbling apart. You were unaware as to how much you were suffering… so with the heaviest of hearts, I have decided to destroy the universe and start anew. I have analyzed my mistakes and intend to rectify them… however, I believe the creation of the New Universe should fall to you as well. Chosen survivors… help me to design the New Universe. In return, I will allow you to use it as your new home."_

 _"That's all he said. Eventually, me and Chelan worked our way to the other survivors, we formed our team, and we set to work. Of course, Arceus lied a8out letting us live there. He created the Great Clock—the Time G8—to seal our dimension away. 8ut the Great Clock was more than just a g8. It represented Arceus's 8rain. Its Cy8erspace contained the memory of his First Dimension. We saw Arceus's memories and his feelings…"_ (Play "Man of the World" from _Naruto: Shippuden_.)

His creation was lost… reduced to little bits and pieces, drifting in endless nothing. Arceus was in the center of it all… it was his responsibility. It was his duty to watch the universe, nurture it. He was proud of all the people he created. He could see Yosafire tackle-hugging Froze, see her baking apple pie for her friends. When Yosaf forgot her homework, her teacher forced her to trim the bushes outside. Macarona threw up when Rawberry ate a live bat, Vriska used psychic to make Dialo repeatedly punch himself.

It was a world of love and friendship… and he destroyed it. The Ores, the Gems, the Carapacians… It was a universe he created. Every person had a soul and a life. Whether they were happy, sad, or angry, Arceus enjoyed seeing them all prosper. But their existence was crumbling, an unstable force that was seeping beyond the dimensional boundaries. He did the merciful thing and destroyed it. And yet, drifting along the debris left by his life's work… were his tears. Tears that glimmered like miniature suns.

 _"A person cries when everything they held dear crumbles away. So, to see a god cry… is the most painful feeling in the entire multiverse. That's why, the same day we lost our homes… was the same day a god cried. Of course, what we saw was just a Supreme God doing his jo8. We thought he felt nothing toward it… so, we were angry. We wanted to a8use his kindness."_

One of Arceus's golden tears splashed in the darkness. The tear molded into a little ball… which compressed into an egg. Three lumps stretched the egg until it hatched. Azelf, Mesprit, and Uxie were born. Another tear dripped, and there was the Ancestor. _"Mew…"_ Another dripped, and there was the Forest. _"Bi…"_

 _"And then we learned… may8e Arceus felt more pain than we did that day. Even after we made his New World… he still felt pain."_

And now, all his feelings were poured into correcting his mistake. A trillion years after that day, it was here he faced the one responsible. _"Answer me… Lord English… how did you feel… when trillions and trillions of people were erased with a single breath? How do you feel knowing trillions of souls will never be heard again?"_

It was this question… that made Lord English confused. **_"I don't even know what you're talking about! Those were just a bunch of dumb ideas taking up my working space!"_**

On a sudden impulse, Arceus spawned a thousand giant swords to pierce every side and angle of English's body, each imbued with the god's rage. But, Lord English didn't want to feel pain, and he didn't want the blades to have form. Because he didn't want it, the blades were erased from history. **_"I don't want you either, you four-legged dog-giraffe mutant! Why won't you go away?!"_**

Arceus trembled for a moment… but he endured the pain. _"I will never vanish… not so long as my greatest mistake… has YET to be ERASED!"_

 **Cheren's room**

 _"When Lord English was re8orn in your world, we 8egan physically downloading the digital First Dimension from the Great Clock. When it's finished, your 3-year voyage will end."_ The text on Cheren's computer read.

"So, your homes will be restored." Cheren summarized. He was on his bed with the laptop on his belly. "Does that mean, if we beat English, our worlds can coexist?"

 _"I don't know if that'll 8e possi8le. Our dimension is still messed up, so you'll still need to make the New World."_

"Don't worry, Vriska." Cheren smirked. "I promise when we design the New World, we'll leave enough room for both of us! I mean, how big can a universe be, am I right?" He grinned.

 _"Awwww… you're so sweet. :::: ) I actually feel a little confident now."_

"I do have that charm." Cheren winked. "Wellp, I think I wanna get off now. My body's getting stiff. Thanks for the story, Vriska."

 _"You're welcome. Good night."_

Cheren shut the laptop and got up, bending back to cure the stiffness. "Hmm… 'think I'll go out for some fresh air." He went God Tier, flew out the window, and into the sunset.

Aurora Uno creaked open his room door. "Hmm… so, I guess it's not just a new girlfriend he's talking to."

* * *

 **Chapter 10 just had to be important. ;) So yeah, those characters are from the game _Gray Garden_ , so if you wanna learn more about them, might I suggest playing it. ;) It's a pretty fun game. It looks a lot like _Homestuck_ , so that's why I made them and the trolls one in the same. Well, next chapter will resume our regular adventures. Or at least Sheila's. ;O**


	11. Summer Adventure

**Only a few more chapters of this until _The Last_. Better make the most of it.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 11: Summer Adventure_**

 **Mason's House**

It was another peaceful summer morning for Mason to sleep away. Since there was no school and few missions, and since he wasn't one of the powerhouses that had to train every day, he enjoyed every bit of time he was allowed to sleep.

"WAKE UP, MASON! !" But today, Sheila Frantic burst in and began jumping on him. "IT'S AN EMERGENCY!"

"MMMPH!" Mason's face was smashed under her foot, but she chose to stop in this funny position. _"What's the matter, Sheila?"_ he muffled.

"I was so busy pickin' fights with Maddy all summer that I forgot something! I was gonna take you with me on an Exotic Summer Adventure! We'd fly all around the world seein' all sorts of neat places, all summer long, there ain't be ONE tired moment! But with all this Apocalypse hooey happening, Oi totally forgot about it!"

 _"Yeah, and I forgot how good it felt to sleep in. What's your point?"_

"The point is I want you to get off your lazy arse and come have an exotic adventure with me! Half the summer is already over, and I ain't have one! (Certainly not counting those bloody dream worlds.)"

 _"SHEILA, GET OFF ME!"_

"Oh, right!" Sheila hopped off.

Mason annoyedly sat up and rubbed his face, feeling the shoeprint indent. "Sheila, I honestly thought we got enough adventure in one month than most people get in their whole lives."

"And I don't think we got near enough! I went around and talked to other sectors," she pulled out a paper, "and wrote me a list of all the places they been to! We are up for a heck of a summer!"

"Uhhhh…" Mason sighed, already feeling the exhaust. "I thought I would get to relax this summer."

"The words of the sloth who wisheth not to release from his branch." Fybi Fulbright fluttered into the room.

"Why are you here, Fybi?"

"I wished to accompany Sheila on her adventure of exoticness! I believe it shall be most healthy for my lungs, to breathe the many breaths this world hast to offer!"

"In that case, I don't think you wanna travel with a poisonbender."

"Oh, Mason, don't ya remember how much fun we had on the _Sunny Day_? At least now we ain't planning to fight any bad guys! (Though that would be cool if we did.) But me and Fybs will whoop their butts, so what've you got to worry about?!"

"Whatever." Mason got out of bed. "So, what's first on our list of 'exotic adventures'?"

"I shalt lead thee thither!" Fybi winked.

 **Adventure Day 1: Birka**

"YAHOOOOO!" Sheila Frantic clasped the wing of the Angel Wing, soaring through a sea of black thundering clouds. "THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN MISSING OUT ON?!"

"SHEILA, PLEASE GET INSIDE!" Mason yelped. Even inside the ship, his heart jumped at every bolt of lightning that struck every two seconds. Fybi's fast, reckless piloting prevented him from having a comfy seat.

"There is not to worry, for the island is much more pleasant relatively!" Fybi announced.

In case you've forgotten, Birka is a Sky Island surrounded by eternal storms and runs on powerful electricity. The Nimbi here have wings of electricity and can fly at lightspeed. Whether it was night or day, the city was kept lively with lightning. "I can't believe it lightnings here 24/7!" Sheila exclaimed once they made land. "How does anyone get any sleep?! And blimey, everybody's going so fast!"

"And it's so windy here!" Mason shouted, having to squint his eyes from the powerful gusts. "Was Sector W even able to stand in one place too long?"

"Like anyone wants to stand in one place! HEY, those kids over there are kickin' some kinda ball around!" Sheila pointed at five Birkans zipping around and kicking a shockball. "OI, KICK IT THIS WAY!"

"Huh?" The Sector STORM kids looked over. "Hey, we have new visitors!" Amper pointed.

"I don't think you want this ball!" Dio shouted. "Shockballs are too fast for humans!"

"I'M too fast for humans!" Sheila spun her feet and turned them gold.

"You asked for it!" Dio kicked it to Laxy, who sent it to Amp, who kicked to Brendix, who sent the ball flying to Sheila, and she shot the ball skyward with a terrific kick. Ela zipped up to kick it.

A spark had coursed through Sheila upon the kick, so she was paralyzed and darkened. _"Mates… don't play soccer in sandals."_ She shook the soot off. "'ey, look at that tower!" She pointed at Dashi's Peak. "It's so high, I can't see the top!"

"'Tis Dashi's Peak." Fybi said. "'Tis where the Birkans honored the God Thor. I canst confirm its heightfulness."

"Come on, Mason, let's see the top!" Sheila used her Light Feet, grabbed Mason, and raced across the town.

"WHOOOAAA!" The island was like a blur, but it was at this speed that Mason and Sheila could see the zipping Birkans. Sheila began to run in a spiral up the tower, and Mason nervously closed his eyes to keep from getting dizzy. In a few more seconds, Sheila was at the very top of Dashi's Peak. She took a big breath and cried, _"'ELLO, BIRKA! I'M SHEILA, THE GODDESS OF ADVENTURE!"_

"I think you just offended several religions."

"MASON, look at that!" Sheila yelped when two horse-drawn chariots swooped by, leaving a trail of lightning. "They're horses made of bloody lightning!"

"They art Lightning Chariots." Fybi replied after flying up. "Perhaps the fastest creatures that fly the skies."

"Sheila, please don't tell me-"

"I GOTTA GO RIDE ONE! _WOOHOOOO…!"_ Sheila leaped off the tower and took the great fall, which was slowed with her tail propeller.

"If thou lookst at yon bright side, she ist losing much calories." Fybi said.

"I guess she needs it, considering how she beat Big Mom. Whatever you do, just don't give her a Golden Flurp. Or else she might evolve to a speed faster than light."

 ** _King Dutchman_**

Meanwhile, in a universe that looked like it had been vomited upon and hastily wiped, Dimentio's neon body, which linked to thousands of alternate universes, was spiraling rapidly. A dark yellow car with a triangle eye on its hood shot out of the portal and swerved to a halt. "YAAAHOO!" Bill Cipher fell out of the window, wearing sunglasses and a yellow scarf. "You ever wonder what coulda made the Knightrider universe a hundred times cooler? When you take his car and bewitch it to fly and shoot lasers!"

"Didn't it already shoot lasers, Master Cipher?" Dimentio asked.

"Um, I think one of them did." Bill scratched his head. "I'm not exactly sure which version of the universe I landed in… or even if I grabbed the right car. Well, if it couldn't make dirty jokes before, it can now! So yeah, I'm gonna have me a little snooze – this human body tires easy. Say, what's my next bedtime prince?" Bill checked a list. "Prince Eric, nice! Get ready to go from H2O to CO2!" The humanized demon proceeded to leave the chamber in a drunk, dizzy fashion.

He unknowingly passed Czar Baldy Bald III outside the entrance. The czar peeked in at the car.

 **Further down the passage**

"I know exactly how you felt, Teach." Xehanort said as he walked with Blackbeard. "I also hailed from an island, nothing to do but watch the waves wash the shore. I knew that the world was small, but I never truly understood how small until now. To think there was an _entire_ multiverse beyond our reach."

"And all that little twerp wants is to conquer this or conquer that!" Teach stated, munching a cherry pie. "We pirates aren't just pillaging and plundering, you know! I'd just like some time to explore for myself."

"Hey, Xehanort! Teach!" Baldy Bald pranced over and grabbed their arms. "I gotta show you something!" Blackbeard fell on his belly and was dragged along the wooden floor, but his right arm kept the pie up straight.

Baldy showed them the car Bill left in the Portal Chamber. "Bill's car?" Teach questioned.

"He's taking a nap right now! This might be our only chance to take it for a joyride! Come on, guys, haven't you ever wanted to ride the boss's car?!"

 _"Our worlds don't have cars."_ the two chorused. Baldy Bald collapsed like an anime character.

"However… it can't be much different than a Gummi Ship." Xehanort stroked his beard as he examined the vehicle. "You know, Teach, I think a 'joyride' is what we need. A quick little tour through the unexplored and unconquered universes."

"Sounds like a plan! A few drinks, a few bites, and if we want, a few heads loose!" Blackbeard smirked.

"Then start the engines, Xeny!" Czar hopped in the passenger seat. "We're off on a multiversal road trip!"

"Hm hm, have fun, you three." Dimentio chuckled.

Blackbeard squeezed his blubbery self into the cramped back seat while Xehanort used his Keyblade to start the car. The wheels spun, Xehanort yanked up on the wheel, aiming to drive into the portal—and the car flipped upside-down.

"…I was wrong. It isn't like driving a Gummi Ship."

"Alright, move over." In their upside-down positions, Baldy Bald climbed into the driver's seat while Xehanort took the passenger's. Baldy restarted the car and flipped them back over. He pushed a button that opened the roof and allowed Blackbeard to sit completely upright. "NOW we're rolling!" With a fiery boost, the car blasted into the multiverse. (Play "Playing With the Boys" by Kenny Loggins!)

Baldy Bald and Xehanort wore sunglasses, baring cool expressions as they drove across a beach. This beach happened to be the Teen Beach in the Teen Beach Universe, so as their spinning tires sent sand flying into the air, they swerved around a volleyball court and ran down all the teens. The rest of the beach-goers met the same fate as the tire tracks were implanted in the sand everywhere.

 _Haaaangin'_

 _Playing with a caaaaar!_

In the Star Wars Universe, Darth Vader was steadily approaching Luke on that narrow bridge in Bespin. "No, Luke… I am your-" The Billmobile blasted out of space and knocked Vader off the bridge. Luke stared confusedly. The car landed and swerved around the metal tunnel, Vader clinging to the windshield. Just as the car fell out of the tunnel and plummeted to the clouds, Dimentio caught them in his portal.

 _Haaaangin'_

 _Playing with Bill's caaaaar!_

They were dropped above Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends (the original), landing on the roof and driving into the house. Blackbeard reached over to grab Vader and throw him off. "Huh?" The pirate noticed a giant chicken leg Imaginary Friend coming up. He smirked and snatched the Friend, eating him in one gulp. He then snatched a partly-eaten cookie Friend, gulping him. He snatched a hamburger Friend and swallowed him happily. He caught a tiny pea Friend, shrugging as he chucked it down his throat.

"Ahh, that looks like a CHERRY!" Teach saw a cherry-pink Friend coming up and grabbed it—it was really a pink puppy Friend!

"Hello! My name is Crackers!"

"Oh. Do you at least taste like cherry?"

"That's what they ALL ask!" Crackers began crying. "WAAAAAH!"

"Blech." Teach tossed her back. "Let's go somewhere else to eat."

 _The car doesn't talk_

 _Maybe 'cause Bill was annoyed by iiiiit!_

The car came to a park outside Bob's Burgers. Blackbeard jumped through the window and scared all the customers into fleeing. "Okay, Bob, cook me 200 burgers or I'll eat you and your FAMILY!"

"You don't have the STOMACH for it!" Louise Belcher retorted.

Teach opened a black hole in his stomach and threw Louise inside. "Uh, coming right up." Bob said.

 _Taaaakin' food_

 _Blackbeard didn't free Louiiiise!_

The car landed in the Land of Oz, running over dozens of Munchkins before beginning to drive along the Yellow Brick Road. They ran over a brainless scarecrow, a heartless tin man, a spineless lion, then they flew up and over a hill, crushing a fairy in a bubble.

 _It's clear that_

 _Baldy doesn't know how to driiiive!_

"I do, too!"

Timmy Turner was about to make a wish to his Fairy Godparents, when the car rammed through his wall. Xehanort quickly snapped a picture of his fairies before they backed the car out. In mere hours, pictures of Timmy's fairies were going around the Internet.

 _And they had no reason to do thaaaaat!_

 _And now we're going to MLP-_

The car landed in Equestria—it was completely decimated. The land was black with soot, pony skeletons lay everywhere. A small Thanos flag blew in the dead wind.

 _And now we're going to Rugrats-_

Baldy was excited to play with some babies—the town was decimated. There were skeleton babies. A Thanos flag blew.

 _And now we're going to Spongebob-_

The car landed in Bikini Bottom—"OH, COME ON!" Baldy screamed at the decimated undersea town.

That's when Thanos appeared from the portal. He looked around, surprised it was already destroyed. He exchanged a glance with the joyriders and shrugged. There was a small Peter Griffin flag blowing nearby.

"I take over universes now." Peter said in a cutaway.

 _Now it's time to ruin some yards…_

 _No worry, 'cause what's the haaaarm?_

The car landed in Wayne Szalinski's back yard and spun around until it was ripped to shreds. As they drove away, the wacky inventor chased them in a burning rage.

Afterwards, they drove into the sunset, to put their relaxing day behind them. Mr. Szalinski, Timmy Turner, Bob, and Toto chased them to the ends of time.

 **Portal Chamber**

The trio finally returned and parked the car where they found it. "It seems Bill has not awakened from his nap, yet." Xehanort said as they climbed out.

"But with the car in one piece and safely returned, we have nothing to worry about!" Baldy Bald said surely.

 ** _BOOM! !_** The hood exploded open. The boys whipped around in surprise. "Whoops.

 _CHONG!_ The car doors sprung off. "Oh."

 _BING-GING-GING!_ The seats sprung up on springs.

Bill Cipher whistled as he twirled Prince Eric in a can, walking in casually. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CAR?!"

Thanos came out of the portal. _"THANOS DID IT!"_ Czar and Teach pointed, and they zipped off.

 **Birka**

 _"EEEEEEEEEEEE…!"_ Sheila had grabbed onto a Lightning Chariot just before it took off. The flesh on her face was wobbling loosely, several strands of hair flew away, and the dimensions of her body were stretched. _"Gng… too fst! Cn't… frm… cmplte… sntnc… nd gt… drvr's… nttntion!"_

"That friend of yours just jumped over the gate and hopped on one of our manned chariots!" a lady Birkan running the Thunder Horse barn yelled at Mason and Fybi. "Humans shouldn't even be able to stay on them for more than one second!"

"Yyyyeah… but she's half-Mobian." Mason said with a sweatdrop.

"What difference does that make?"

They heard steam sizzling and saw that Sheila had made it back. The experience stretched her a few inches taller. "Well, on the bright side… I think I know math now."

"I am positive she will shrink back eventually." Fybi said.

"So, you all adventured out for this place?" Mason asked.

"Are you kidding, man, we just got here! I haven't even eaten one of those Zappy Cookies! We ain't leavin' until the DAY is over! Which is probably quite a while here." And with that, she ran off.

"But just in case, I hath phone to confirm time." Fybi pulled out her cellphone.

"Hopefully our next location will be a little more merciful." Mason said.

 **Adventure Day 2: Arendelle**

The trio made land in the abandoned kingdom that was once shrouded in the snowstorm. Although the sun could now touch this ancient land, it was still incredibly frigid. Sheila, having not changed out of her shorts and sandals, was growing icicles on her body. "W-W-W-Why aren't you blokes c-c-c-cold like I am?"

"Because I'm wearing a coat." Mason confirmed; his black coat had a flame design like his shirt.

"And I project yon heat shield around me." Fybi said, keeping warm inside a bubble of steam.

"Oi, where is everybody? This town should be bustlin' with people waitin' to welcome us! Not like they got anything else to do but build snowmen."

"Methinks this town hast not been inhabited for centuries. Naught but the souls of those who once lingered."

The trio entered the abandoned castle. The carpets, chandeliers, the furniture, the décor, every frozen object had stood the test of time. "It's these kinds of places that upset me the most." said Mason. "You can just tell there was a lot of people here, doing things, and then suddenly it all stopped."

"I bet little ankle-biters played Hide-and-Seek 'ere oodles of times!" Sheila raised her fists excitedly. "We should play a round right now!"

"Nah, we should've brought more people for that."

They found a secret chamber in the basement. Fybi floated up to a platform above a chasm, and Sheila helped Mason run up there. "This be yon Gibberish Stone Suki hath spoke of." Fybi observed the Poneglyph.

"Why did Suki of all people get chosen? She's so innocent." Mason wondered.

"And I am _not_ in that regard? Hm hm hm!" Fybi giggled.

"Oi, it's a right-dang mystery all right. But we probably won't discover the answer by loitering around here. Let's decorate this town with snowmen!" Sheila turned and happily hopped down.

"You don't know the meaning of depression, do ya?" Mason chuckled.

 **Adventure Day 3: Boggly Woods**

"Siiiigh… now this place, I like." Mason sighed with relief as he wiggled his toes in the white fluffy flowers. The soil of Boggly Woods was a neon color and grew monochrome trees and plants. "It's warm, the wind's calm, and it's overall safe to stand in."

"Thou art a poisonbender like none other." Fybi remarked.

"Look, there's some Minish!" Mason noticed the little creatures using flowers to float by his face. "They're having a good time too, it looks like! Hey, mind if I shrink down and join you?"

". . . . ." The Minish were silent as they pointed behind Mason.

"Huh?" He turned around. "I don't understand, what am I looking at?"

"Mason, I believest they intend thee to run in that direction." Fybi said.

"Why?"

"Lookst thither."

"'EY, YOU STUPID BEES!" Sheila was yelling at a large hive on a tree. "GIT out here and give me your black-and-white honey!" She spun her fist and PUNCHED the tree.

A siren went off on the tree as a swarm of Jabbies flew out. Their eyes spun wildly as they positioned their beaks directly at Sheila. _"AAAAAAAAHHHH!"_ The three kids made a break through the forest, evading the furious swarm. "THIS PLACE GOT A HUNDRED TIMES COOLER!" screamed the energetic raccoon.

"And you've become a hundred times more masochistic! !" Mason cried.

 **Adventure Day 4: Guertena Gallery**

"Enjoy ze gallery." The receptionist told the kids.

"Ahh… nothing wrong with embracing some high-class art." Mason said. The Guertena Gallery was a very bright white, artworks lining the walls in every direction. There seemed to be lots of classy people here.

"Canst thou smell that paint?" Fybi said.

"Bleh… they 'ave the bloody place chi-blocked. I feel so congested." Sheila whined.

"It's okay, Sheila. Let's just enjoy the gallery."

The first painting they observed was the Abyss of the Deep, which depicted a giant angler fish on the floor. Sheila wanted to climb over and step in it, but her friends held her back. They looked at the Embodiment of Spirit, a giant red rose. "Is it real… or ist faux?" Fybi wondered.

"We will never know… because they forbid us from touching exhibits." Mason spoke poetically.

They studied the Lady in Red, a woman in a red dress. They studied the Reserved Seat, a white ragged couch. The Taste-Cleansing Tree, which were colorful bars hanging from a black coat-hanger. They stared at a painting titled "Goodbye" for several moments; it depicted several artworks smiling and waving at the viewer.

"Mmm. Mmm." Sheila nodded thoughtfully after processing all these arts whose German names she couldn't read. "Yep. There ain't one noteworthy thing about this gallery. Let's go to that one place Maddy talked about."

 **Adventure Day 4.5: Jellatonia**

"YAHOOOOOO!" Sheila was joyfully bouncing on a giant mount of green gelatin. "I am so glad Nebula saved this planet! ! It's so much FUUUUUUN!"

"Ha ha ha!" Mason bounced with a joyous smile on his face. "This whole planet's like a giant bounce house! I'm actually glad we came."

"Ay… In truth, bouncing is merely Flying's aspiring little sibling." Fybi said with an unimpressed frown, floating higher than either of them. "I fail to seest what joy thou land-walkers seest."

 _"MASON! SHEILA! Fancy seeing you here!"_

The two slowed their bouncing and looked up. Haylee Gilligan was waving at them from a small airplane. "HAYLEE! What are you doing here?!" Mason called.

"Oh, I'm just on a little adventure myself! Captain, you remember Mason and Sheila, right?"

"Of course I remember Sheila!" Augustus von Fizzuras rode the back seat of the _Ace Flyer_. "Don't care about the other twerps though." He sucked on a lollipop.

"I remembered Maddy talking about this place and I told Augustus about it!" followed Haylee.

"WHAT'S the MEANING of this, Haylee?!" Sheila yelled angrily. "Have you gone and betrayed us for that nickname-stealing wannabe pirate?!"

"It's just sort of a part-time job, Sheila, my mom did it all the time. I mean, there's so many places I wanted to explore, but I just didn't have the time to. Luckily, Augustus has been to dozens of places, it'll be just like the old days!"

"Well, no one said you could adventure in the same place as me! **I** called this place!"

"Keep dreaming, Raccoon!" Augustus retorted. "I've probably already been to EVERY place you explored and more! I may admire your spirit, but I'm still five years ahead of you, Sheila! I'll get out of your hair now, but just know, your adventure book's got nothing on mine." With that, Haylee steered the plane to take them away.

"Man, teenagers are as annoying as they used to be." Mason said. …He noticed the frantic look on his friend's face. "Sheila?"

"That candy-lovin' drongo is right! He really IS yonks ahead of me in adventure experience! We really gotta step up our game if we're gonna beat him! We still haven't been to Mermaid Swamp, Planet Wisp, Pwebla da Something, and even then that STILL prob'ly ain't enough to how many places Augustus been to! Oh, I'm a failure as a Goddess of Adventure, I DON'T DESERVE THE TITLE!" She fell and punched and kicked the Jell-O as she cried.

"Sheila, calm down!" Mason helped her up. "You have the rest of your life to become an Adventure Goddess or whatever. You really gonna let Augustus get to you?"

"No, mate, it ain't like that! When this bloody voyage is over and we gotta fight those Darkness blokes, literally anything can happen! It's makin' me realize I ain't get enough adventuring! There's so many places I wanna go in so little time, I don't think I'm gonna make it, Mason!"

"Sheila, just take it easy! It's all gonna be okay, I promise! I know the perfect place we can continue our adventures."

 **Adventure Day 5: Mason's House**

"Snoooooore…" Mason was tucked cozy in his bed.

"Ay, a boy liketh no place better than his nest." Fybi shook her head.

"Grrrr!" Sheila grabbed Mason and shook him. "Darn it, Mason, don't you realize what's at stake here?!"

"Of course I do, Sheila. That's why I don't wanna waste my energy adventuring."

"But think of all the places out there we can still visit! All the adventures, our LAST adventures, just waiting to be-"

Mason rolled over and grabbed Sheila's arms. "Sheila? Join me for a moment." And he pulled her in bed with him. He helped Sheila under the covers and threw her sandals on the floor.

"Ahem…" Fybi blushed and turned away. "I know we shalt not even become adults before this voyage ends, but… thou misunderstands it seems."

"Sheila… summer vacations are about staying up late and sleeping in late. Sure, traveling is great, but only if it's once in a while. We operatives get enough adventure and it's exhausting. So, for once… just close your eyes and let the blanket warm you."

"…" Sheila closed her eyes. "I don't remember the last time Oi used a blanket. They're bloody warm."

"They bloody are, Sheila."

Sharing a bed, tucked warmly under the blanket, they drifted to sleep. Fybi smiled and shook her head. "Like day and night, light and dark… there must be wake, there must be sleep."

The angel closed the blinds to block the sun, and shut the door on her way out. Mason and Sheila enjoyed a peaceful morning, sleeping in the darkness.

* * *

 **We haven't had good Mason/Sheila in forever. X) Only a couple of weeks until _The Last_. See you for a few more Voyage Arc chapters.**

"Do you taste like taters?" Crackers asked Darth Vader after finding him in the Foster's hallway.


	12. Star Harvesting

**Did any of you see _Moana_? 'Cause I loved it! Pretty animation, great songs, and she was pretty badass! Well, today we got a Wendy chapter.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 12: Star Harvesting_**

 **Facilier's Voodoo Emporium**

"Really dear, there's no reason to exhaust your magic like this." Carla said to the blue-haired mage. "Until we find a permanent cure, I'm perfectly fine being a cat."

"I know, Carla, but I wanna keep trying." Wendy stated, wielding her Lamia Scale wand. "I don't think I'll be worthy to wield the Fairy's Tail until I'm good at magic with my own wand."

"Sigh, very well. Just… don't embarrass yourself. Or me for that matter."

"Hehe… okay." Wendy waved her wand and cast, "Transfiguro!"

A puff of smoke shrouded Carla, and when it cleared, she was standing in a humanoid body with Nimbi wings. The only features left unchanged were the ears, the tail… and the fact she was still close to Wendy's feet. Her child still towered over her. "Heh heh. Almost close." Wendy blushed.

"I hope you don't expect me to buy you a dollhouse."

"Hey hey, girls!" Dr. Facilier kicked open the door, walking in as his shadow shut it. "Guess what came in the mail?" He held up an envelope.

Charle flew up to read it. "A letter from Hogwarts?"

"It seems they're on to Wendy's little magic endeavors." Harvey opened the letter and pulled it out. "They're offering her some extra credit if she writes a report about a place she's been to. 500 words. And it's gotta be on paper and in cursive. They like to go old school."

"That doesn't sound too bad. I'll do it!"

"Which place are you going to write about, Child?" asked Charle.

"If you don't mind my interfering, I was actually thinking she visit someplace new." Facilier said as he scooped a handful of Floo Powder from a bag.

"What did you have in mind?" Wendy asked.

The doctor threw the powder in the fireplace and called, "Star Hill, Avalar!" The emerald flames burst into existence. "Ladies first!"

Wendy and Charle exchanged glances and entered the flames.

 **Star Hill**

The girls emerged out of a lone fireplace in the middle of an indigo field. Shooting stars rained from a sparkling sky, breaking into glittery pieces on the ground. It was a steep, starry hill that seemed to stretch to the moon.

Facilier stepped through the flames, and was not surprised to see their gaping expressions. "Like it? The Star Hill is made up of millions of Star Bits that fall from Star Haven. Star Haven collects the wishes of people from across the universe and drops them here. Of course, it ain't the only Star Hill, otherwise there'd be way more stars."

Wendy looked down at a Star Bit by her feet, smiling with drawn eyes and a mouth. She picked it up and heard a voice. _I want to be an artist._

"Sounded like April's voice to me." said the doctor.

"This is amazing!" Wendy beamed. "There are so many stars here! And they're all peoples' wishes? And they all come true?!"

"Who knows? I'm not the one who makes them. Anyway, I'm gonna stay here and rest. Talk to me if you're ready to go back." With that, Facilier laid beside the fireplace, facing up at the sky.

Charle made a perch on Wendy's shoulder, watching as she picked up Star Bit after Star Bit. _I wish to fly every sky and breathe every air!_ Fybi Fulbright's voice. _I want to meet every race and create a universe-wide KND!_ Nebula Winkiebottom. _I just want my mom to accept me._ Nagisa Shiota.

"Mom, did you ever wish on shooting stars?"

"Honestly, Wendy, why would I do something so childish?"

Wendy picked up another Star Bit. _I really wanna be an engineer!_ Charle gasped and blushed at this familiar voice.

"Ha ha ha! Mom, did I just find your wish?!"

"Um…" Charle scowled and turned away. "J-Just keep looking."

"Hey, look at that star over there." Wendy approached a dark star with an angry face. She picked it up. _I wish mah mom would get the *** off my back._ Kimaya Heartly. Wendy tossed the star aside, displeased at hearing it. She noticed one with a sad face and grabbed it. _I wanna die…_ Miyuki Crystal.

"I guess this place has negative wishes, too." Wendy observed. "That's upsetting." She looked up and spotted a pile of Star Bits. She went to pick one up. _I just want to go home._ Lapis Lazuli. The other ones were from the same person. _I just wanna go home. I just wanna go home._ One was a Dark Ztar. _I wish Kyogre would get stabbed in the head._

"Hurrrrr!" The two looked around the pile, hearing a grunting sound. Not far away, an orange-haired girl in pigtails and a dress was trying to pluck a Star Bit attached to a stem. She didn't look to be any older than 17. "You're a stubborn one… aren't ya?"

 _I wanna be really big and strong when I grow up!_ Mocha's voice came from the star.

Wendy ran over and asked, "Would you like some help?"

"WHOA!" The star plucked off as the girl fell back and knocked Wendy over. She glanced back and realized she had fallen on someone. "Uh, sorry!" She scrambled to her feet and extended a hand for Wendy. "These things can be stubborn sometimes, hehe." Wendy took her hand and got back on her feet. "My name's Anna."

"Hi, Anna, my name's Wendy. This is my mom, Carla—I mean, Charle."

"You know what, either name works." Charle sighed.

"Your mom is… kinda small."

"Hee hee. It was a spell mishap." Wendy blushed. "I practice magic. Of course, that's probably no big deal on this planet."

"Well, I don't know that many wizards!" Anna shrugged. "Though I've been through way too much to be impressed. N-No offense."

"It's okay. What brings you here, Anna?"

"I'm harvesting. Well, we call it Starvesting." Anna chuckled. "Because we're collecting stars, you know!"

"Ha ha ha! Are you gonna cook them for Thankswishing Dinner? …Or something?" Wendy flushed at her silly attempt at making a joke.

"Nah, we're… gonna grind them into dust and make Nightmares."

"Excuse me?"

"Anna, pick up the pace!" She was yelled at by a short creature in green armor holding an axe. "You're not still listening to every single wish, are you?"

"Sorry, Green. I'll get back on it." Anna threw the Star Bit in a sack and went to pluck more.

Wendy and Charle saw Green go down the hill. They curiously stepped to the hill's edge, finding saucers were parked in a field. More axe-wielding creatures were chopping down star trees and chopping Star Bits before the ships vacuumed the remains. Drills were burrowing into the ground and collecting Star Bits underneath.

"HEY, what are you doing?!" She ran up to Axem Red and grabbed a Star Bit before he could chop it. "Those are peoples' wishes you're cutting!"

 _I wanna learn alien languages the normal way._ Makava.

"Oh, great, another eco-crybaby." Axem Red retorted. "Run along and play somewhere else, kid, this is a restricted area."

"I TOLD you we shoulda put signs up." Axem Pink shouted.

"How was I supposed to know there'd be other people around?"

"Just why are you harvesting these stars?" Charle demanded.

"Because our boss ordered us to, that's why. Now scram, kid, you and your little mutant cat-bird-human."

"Hold on, these look very much like spaceships."

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Could I assume, then, that your boss lives on a different planet?"

"If by planet, you mean floating city, then yeah." Axem Yellow mentioned.

"Shut it, Yellow!"

"A floating city?" Wendy thought for a second. "Mom, I remember one of the worlds I put a barrier around was a floating city. Nebula said it was Nightmare Land."

"Ugh, fine." Red huffed. "Our boss is the Nightmare King, Darkrai. If you got a beef with us, take it up with him."

"Well, maybe I will!"

"Wendy, a person with the title 'Nightmare King' doesn't sound like the right person to pick a fight with." Charle cautioned.

"But I remember Dr. Facilier mentioning the Nightmare King a couple times, like he knew him personally. Maybe he'll be willing to reason."

"You are way too optimistic sometimes, Child. But I'm in no position to restrain you."

"That's right, Mini Mom!" Wendy grinned.

 ** _King Dutchman_**

In a realm that looked like it could never have been anything beautiful, a game was taking place in the ship's dining room. The combatants, Ganondorf and Zorc Necrophades, were clutching three die, sitting on either side of a game board. Ganondorf rolled his die, and his player, the Skull Soldier (a skeleton in black knight's armor) moved three spaces forward and two spaces right, just one away from Zorc's player, 88 Faces.

Davy Jones sat a few seats over, watching them play with interest. He remembered the old days on the _Flying Dutchman_ , playing with the souls who wanted to gamble for their lives. Even now, he was enjoying a drink of liquefied souls who have lost his Game of Deception. Holding the glass in a tentacle, Jones pulled it away, and said what had been on his mind: "I have no idea what you're playing."

"It's all right." Zorc said. "Neither does he."

"Hm hm hm." Ganon chuckled. "I'm only giving you a few moments of pride. This is a mere children's game for a mere child."

"I am no child, Human. Quite frankly, I can drop this form any time I want. I just don't want to crush my new underlings."

"HA HA ha ha! I almost forgot how adorable children are when they exaggerate."

"Yet, you are really no different than I am: a Demon King forced to walk in mortal shoes. You may talk down on me… but it doesn't change that my skills are far superior." With one more roll of the die, 88 Faces barfed lasers in all directions, destroying Ganon's player and any traps he had lain on the field. "You lose again. I get two more of your conquered worlds."

"Very well, Zorc… Take your pick." Ganon grabbed a rippled paper from his armor and threw it on the table. It contained a list of worlds.

"Interesting… I choose Earthsea and Middle-earth." Zorc used magic to take the names off the list and place them on empty cards. The cards depicted images of the worlds. Zorc placed them onto a deck of cards with the backs facing up. The back of the cards were black with purple designs. "Today, they have a new ruler to obey."

"Reminds me of the time I let my daughter burn down a neighborhood for her birthday. You really think those worlds will acknowledge you as their conqueror, in place of the one who conquered them? There were religions in Hyrule dedicated to me. Even today, demons and simple mortals alike pray to me for sustenance."

"You think that impresses me? I was an icon of five different religions. Millions worshipped me. Given enough time, millions more in those pathetic universes would worship me."

"Sure, sure… But would you have the same charm as me?" Ganon grinned.

"Is that a BET I smell?" Bill Cipher walked across the table.

"What do you want, Triangle?" Zorc said spitefully.

"Look, Ganny, Zorcy, both of you are pretty big stars, I'm sure you have quite the fanbases. So, how about we make it a bet? See how many loyal followers you can accumulate over the next year. No brainwashing, no threats, just good old fashion mortals thinking you're awesome. I'll be keeping score." Bill snapped fingers, poofing a scoreboard out of thin air with Ganon and Zorc's names written. "Of course, I have managerial duties, so don't expect me to watch you 24/7. Instead, I'll just see into their minds to see if they truly acknowledge you as a god. Sound like a plan?"

"I accept the challenge." Zorc smirked.

"As do I. We will reconvene in 365 days." Ganon agreed.

"Yeah, like anybody can tell the time here." Bill rolled his eyes. "Well, best of luck to both of ya. And remember: it's all fun in games when cults start slitting each other's throats." He snapped again and poofed into flames.

 **Nightmare Land; Throne Room**

"Da'ky? Dey's something I really dink I should bring up wit' you."

"Fine, Jar Jar. What is it?"

"Da'ky… how can you go drunk when you don't have organs?"

"…The truth is, Jar Jar… I-"

"Boss, we have visitors." Customer Service spoke. "Dr. Facilier is here, and he's brought the Wendy Marvell child."

"Ah, Facilier, eh? Let him in, Customer."

"Howdy, Darky!" Dr. Facilier greeted perkily as they entered the throne room. "My student wanted to talk to you about something."

"Yes?…"

"Go on, Wendy, don't be shy." The doctor nudged Wendy forward.

"Uh… um…" Wendy shifted her feet. She didn't expect him to put her on the spot.

"Are you here to give me a small meal?" Darkrai joked. "Because you are clearly nervous."

"Is bad Nightmare joke." Jar Jar said.

"Oh for goodness sake, we want to know why you're harvesting the stars down on Star Hill." Charle explained impatiently.

"Those stars are born from peoples' wishes; their dreams, so to speak. By squeezing the wishes out of them, they serve as perfect materials to create Nightmares. After all… a person fears nothing worse than seeing their dreams crumble. Like you, Miss Marvell… You were afraid of never finding your family. Of being alone forever. It is why I kept your star." Darkrai reached into his body and extracted a sad face star, throwing it to Wendy.

 _I really wanna have a family. I wanna know why my parents abandoned me._ Wendy heard her voice.

"Of course, it wasn't the only star you created. People tend to make the same wishes over and over again." He grabbed another star from his stomach.

 _I wish people like Corey were more accepted._ Nolan's voice.

"This one's pretty old, though. …To be honest, guys, it's a _mess_ in there." Darkrai frowned shamefully. "I don't remember the last time I cleaned up. I have wishes from, like, the 1800s." He got another star from his belly.

 _I wish pictures could move!_ A voice of someone that sounded like a retro movie.

"But Mr. Darkrai, you can't just destroy peoples' wishes like that!" Wendy shouted. "Think of all the dreams that can't come true! The princesses who can't marry princes, the orphans who can never find homes, the…"

"The non-magic children who wish for magic they can never possess?"

"W…What do you mean by that?"

"What I mean is wishes and stars are irrelevant. True, dreams emit positive feelings that give life to Star Beings like my Nightmares… but their effect on the mortals who wished them is nonexistent. No matter what, their fate is decided. The mortals either follow their dreams with their own strength and achieve them, or they go down a different path. Wishing on stars does not matter. The same is with you, Wendy. You were only able to meet your family because you stayed alive; you allowed yourself to live and see your fate."

"But I feel like I didn't even do anything. I feel like I only met Dr. Facilier and Carla because the stars heard my wishes."

"Y'know, Darkrai, it's a tad odd to me that someone like you doesn't think there's a point in wishing." Facilier mentioned. "How many times did you wish Dimentia would find peace? I'm sure you got yo' share of stars on that hill."

"I do. See?" Darkrai extracted a star with one eye.

 _I wanna try me a couple of them mushrooms._

"Er… but yes, basically." He tossed it elsewhere. "Look, there's nothing wrong with _having_ hopes and dreams… but on a physical and productive scale, we need to harvest the wishes so my people can survive. It's as simple as that. If I decided to grind that star in your hands into dust, you wouldn't lose what you now have. Furthermore, my operations are environmentally friendly, in a matter of speaking. By harvesting Star Hill's stars, I keep it from being literally buried in wishes. Plus, people make far too many wishes for me to level it completely. There is truly no harm being done."

"I…I think I understand. I'm sorry for wasting your time." Wendy weakly threw the star back to Darkrai, but it fell short and rolled against the base of his throne. She turned to leave.

"Are you sure you feel that way, Child?" Charle flew by her face. "I wouldn't want you to be discouraged by some corporate jerk."

"Mom, he's right. We won't be able to fight the Darknesses by just relying on wishes. By now, everyone in the universe must be wishing for the worlds to be saved… but the only people who can make it happen will be us. Besides…" Wendy smiled. "I'm just trying to write a school paper. I'm certain I can squeeze 500 words out of this!"

"Before you go, would you like to buy anything from my stomach sale?" Darkrai asked. He stuck a finger down his imaginary throat and- "BLUUUUEEEEH!" threw up a pile of items, ranging from an inflatable raft, an Aerodactyl doll, a wheel from an old automobile, and a script that read _Titans Together REDUX_.

"Um… that's okay." Wendy replied awkwardly. Charle was mortified by this man's stomach.

 **Facilier's Emporium**

 _The Star Hill is a magical place where wishes take solid form. You can pick up a star and hear a person's deepest desires. Nightmare Enterprises harvests the land's stars in order to create their products. At first, I was upset at this because I thought the peoples' wishes wouldn't come true. But then I realized that, even in physical form, wishes are just expressions: they are heard, but after a while, they disappear. Only actions truly decide our fate. That's why-_

"Forgive this cat's prying, Child, but that cursive is hardly legible." Carla stated.

"I was never taught how to write it! ! Weh heh heh!" Wendy cried.

"Relax, Wendy, nobody does, anymore." Facilier consoled.

"It's a dead language!" Sonny popped out.

"What are you still doing here?"

"Mommy and Daddy are fighting and we had no other shelter! Donna also might go bye-bye."

"I just realized something." Wendy spoke. "If I go with my friends to the New World, I'll only just be finishing my 3rd year at Hogwarts. That doesn't seem like enough experience at all."

"Wendy, you got way more experience in four months than most students ever get in school." Facilier replied. "I won't be surprised if they bump you up a few grades. You'll blow that school out of the water, Ah know you will!"

"Ha ha! If you really think I can… Hey, I just thought of something funny! Wanna try it with me?"

"Try what, Child?"

 **Star Hill**

The Axem Rangers continued chopping down trees and digging up stars. "OW!" A large Star Bit fell on Red's head. "What the-?!"

A star storm began to rain heavily. _I WISH I HAD PEANUTS!_ Wendy shouted. _I WANT MORE PRODUCTS!_ Facilier joined. _I WISH PEOPLE WEREN'T DUMB!_ Charle nagged. _I WANT LOTS AND LOTS OF CANDY!_ Wendy. _I WANNA OPEN A SUPERMARKET CHAIN!_ The doctor. _I-SA WANNA BUY DA'KY'S OLD WHEEL!_ Jar Jar. _I wish I could leave my family and join the League of Assassins._ Peter Griffin. _I wish I had a MILLION wishes!_ Sonny screamed.

"WAAAAAAAHHHH! !" The Axem Rangers were quickly buried.

 **A barren world; one year later**

Ragged flags depicting both Ganon's likeness and Zorc's likeness blew in the dead wind. Bloody corpses lay beside one-another with blood-soaked weapons. "HAIL ZORC!" Wamuu declared.

"HAIL GANON!" Eric Cartman yelled back.

"ZORC IS THE LORD OF GAMES!" Angry Video Game Nerd cut a guy down the middle.

"GANON WILL BURN MY WEAK MORTAL FLESH!" Fanatic drilled through a man's face.

In the _King Dutchman_ 's Portal Chamber, Ganon and Zorc sat in lawn chairs and watched the show, sipping cups of sacrificial blood. "I must admit, you gathered more than I thought you would." Ganon said.

"True. But your followers fight admirably."

All the while, Dutchman Pirates were collecting the remains and throwing them in the nearby sea. "I guess we all won a little today." Jones said.

Bill Cipher chuckled to himself in the manager's office. He stared at puzzle pieces, each depicting his Darknesses. "It doesn't matter how many followers they collect individually." He put the pieces together and flipped them over to show Lord English's image. "Because they're all just pieces of _you_ , My Lord." A triangle eye was on English's forehead. "…Hm?" Bill cocked a brow at a tiny gap on the arm. "Though we appear to be missing one…"

* * *

 **The Star Hill is from _Mario RPG_. Always thought it was pretty. X)** **Also, that "Titans Together Redux" was a reference to my old idea for a series.**


	13. Zach Gets a Date?

**So, me and IDA were talking the other day because we watched _Kill la Kill_ , and, well, I found a good pairing for Zach. X)**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 13: Zach Gets a Date?_**

 **KND Newbase**

 _GC: Hey Vriska, back when I was in Termina, one of the Giants used the word "Matesprite." You know what that is?_

 _AG: It's the term we use for girlfriends or 8oyfriends. I remem8er Majora had quite the thing for Miyuki. Are they still keeping touch?_

 _GC: Unfortunately, Zanifr's been hanging around Iceland for that very reason. -_-_

 _AG: How unfortun8 that you have one girlfriend lost. :::; )_

There was a knock at Cheren's office door. "'ey, Cherry, we're having some trouble in the mess hall." Panini entered. "Zach's holding up the line again with his ludicrous requests."

Cheren closed the laptop. "I know joking is his superpower, but there's a thing called using your powers for selfish reasons." He sighed as he headed out.

"…" Panini seized the chance to look at Cheren's laptop. Nothing noteworthy was displayed except his KND files. "Hmmm…"

Cheren discovered a line of impatient operatives outside the kitchen. He sighed once more and made his way to the front. "Zach, I keep telling you over and over," Yuzu stated, "we don't serve Dolly Meat, we never had any Chocolate Magnets, and above all, TADPOLE MILK DOES NOT EXIST!"

"Well, it's clear to me that SOMEONE doesn't believe in 'customer is always right.'" Zach huffed. "Cheren, one of your employees isn't following basic protocol."

"You're right, Zach, and his name is you. Either order something that exists or leave."

"ALLOW _ME_ to solve this crisis!" declared a girl's voice from the back of the line.

 _Haaaalleluja!_ The girl in question was Japanese, with bowl-cut brown hair, brown eyes, a pink top with purple shorts, and a police hat. "Mako Mankanshoku, Newbase Guard, reporting for duty!" She zipped up to between Yuzu and Zach, startling the two. "What seems to be the nature of your distress?!"

Yuzu blinked confusedly. "Um, Zach is holding up the line. Could you please remove him?"

"Not until I get my Tadpole Milk!"

"Zach, there is no such _thing_ as-"

"Of course there is!" Mako proclaimed.

 _"THERE IS?"_ they chorused (including Zach).

"Allow me to demonstrate!" Mako got a tadpole from her pocket and put it on the lunch line. "If you use a Diamondium magnifying glass," she possessed said item, "you'll notice little seaweed-like filaments. It is from these filaments, you must carefully squeeze with two strands of nosehair." She picked two nosehairs, and it was shown on the magnifying glass as she carefully touched the two together against the utter. She put a plastic cup underneath to catch the near-micro drop of green milk. "Afterwards, all it takes is a quick spell from a wizard to make a satisfactory drink, otherwise you need a few thousand tadpoles. Wendy, if you would?" She passed the cup to the wizard.

"Um, okay? Engorgio…" Wendy cast a soft spell and expanded the micro drop to fill the cup. "Here you are, Zach."

She placed it in Zach's open hand, but he and the operatives remained awestruck at what had just happened. "…Son of a BEACHBALL, why didn't I think of a Diamondium magnifying glass?!"

"Because Diamondium doesn't EXIST!" Maddy inferred.

"No, you can find some in Galaxia." Vweeb commented from Arianna's shoulder. "I can't imagine anyone cutting it down for a magnifying glass…"

"Now, listen, Zach, the next time a lunch lady tells you a food doesn't exist," Mako begins, "you need to remind her that EVERY food was born in a plane of nonexistence, before finding its way to the brain of a perverted man with a mustache and using it as the portal to a world infested by ravenous monsters who will inevitably devour them." She seemed to change form for brief seconds during the respective points (i.e. a hamburger in white space, a venomous demon looming over it, then wiping her mouth while the hamburger's family had a funeral).

"But more importantly, you SHOULDN'T hold up a food line," she told him scoldingly, "because although it's tragic, food knows that deep down, it's fated to perish in the bowels of we hungry humans (and fellow aliens)," she said to Team Vweeb, "because as their bodies decay in our digestive acids, their souls ascend to the beauty of Food Heaven, where humans are treated as food like they always dreamed! After all, vengeance is in the Bible."

She took out a tape-recorder and clicked it. _Haaaalleluja!_ the track played. "She's not wrong." Apis shrugged.

Again, the operatives said nothing. Anyone who could baffle Zach with utter nonsense needed no comment. "I never saw the world more clearly until now! !" Zach dropped his tray and bowed down. "Teach me, Padawan!"

"Dude, the Padawan is the apprentice." Cheren rolled his eyes.

"Well, when you think about it," Mako began, "a teacher is only a teacher if she has someone to teach, and it is only through the student that she learns how good a teacher she is, so in a way, a teacher is also a student, which also means she never graduated, but they teach us anyway, so we know it's okay to be an undergraduate!" She grinned.

". . . So, when's your break?" Zach asked.

"There's never a break from life! Except for sleep. Do you ever wonder if you're dead when you're asleep?"

"I always imagined your body transforms into a bear and you have to think its winter to avoid eating everybody."

"I can respect that! Let's discuss it over some Tadpole Milk! Here, I'll throw your lunch in the dishwasher real quick." Mako scooped up Zach's fallen tray and rushed to the kitchen.

". . . Did Zach just. . . get a date?" Maddy asked.

"Where did she even come from?" Chris followed.

"Oh, she graduated back in May." Panini answered. "You know, when all of ya were… busy. Ay think her report was almost the same as Zach's."

"A girl who's as crazy as Zach…" Dillon shook his head. "Say, Kirie, didn't you use to have a crush on him?"

 _Ehhh… I'm over it._ Kirie grinned and scratched her head. _Tronta's cute, though. His body matches my EYES!_

"Is this line EVER gonna move? ?" Tronta complained. "I ain't hearing any footsteps! We drove like a billion light-years to eat here, you know."

"Maybe a new scene will pass the time." Vweeb said.

 ** _King Dutchman_**

Somewhere, in a realm that was now blank on all dimensional maps, with giant road signs reading _DO NOT ENTER_ …

"Please, excuse the sorry state of our dimension!" Bill told his alignment of guests. "It's under renovations at the moment! Ahem… Members of Lord English's Backup Army, you have chosen this position because you did not want to face the destruction awaiting your homeworlds! I can safely promise that your decision to serve us will be rewarded with ideal dream worlds of your own. Do your very best to make His Lordship proud! Why don't we go around and introduce ourselves?"

"I am the Millennium Earl." said the chubby gray scientist with a giant grin and thin top-hat. "Akuma and weapons manufacturer for The Thirteen."

"Sephiroth." A black-clothed man with silver hair, one blue angel wing, and a long katana spoke directly. "Shinra Electric Power Company."

"Ragyō Kiryūin, CEO of Revocs Corporation and Voice of the Life Fibers." A woman in white fancy clothes and bright neon hair.

"General Esdeath of the Partas Clan." A young woman with a white army uniform, whitish-blue hair, and a strange tattoo over her cleavage. Her eyes were sharp and cold.

"I AM DIO!" shouted a sharp-toothed man with golden hair, eyes, and attire. "And I demand a MILLION tasty morsels to obey me before I call you my equal—will you GET YOUR HAIR out of my face, you useless bitch?!" he yelled to Ragyō as her rainbow hair glinted off his eyes.

"Am I really going to have to work with this back-alley trash?" Ragyō remarked.

"USELESS BITCH, USELESS BITCH, USELESS USELESS **USELEEEEEESS**! !" Dio mercilessly ripped off the woman's limbs and ripped the limbs into pieces. Red threads connected the parts together and sewed Ragyō back.

"Who wants to guess my favorite?" Bill raised a brow at the readers. "Now, I expect the lot of you to play nice with each other, not very many people are given the honor of serving the most powerful being in the universe. You may be a Backup Army, but that's no reason to think of yourselves any lesser than your peers. Heck, work hard enough and maybe Xehanort will fix you a Keyblade! Anyhow, you've joined at a great time. We've recently installed a hot spring chamber, and my cohorts are resting there as we speak. Why don't I take you to say hello?"

Taking over a multiverse was a tasking job, even to these future kings and gods. But Bill was proud of his underlings for how much they accomplished, so the least they deserved was a hot spring room. There was a normal tub and a purple tub of darkness for the demons. Bathing in the normal spring were Madara, Aizen, Blackbeard, Zeref, and Thanos. Thankfully, the pool was deep enough to suit titans. Ganondorf, Zorc, and Voldemort had the dark pool.

"Mmmmmnnn…" The tub's heat made Thanos' mind foggy. He held up his left hand and stared intently. "My left hand is bigger than the right… the Infinity Gauntlet is making it swell. You know, I destroyed five different Gotham Cities yesterday. Me and Yellow Diamond are tired of all the reboots."

"You're a monster." Zeref sighed.

"And YOU'RE a mood-killer." Teach remarked, eating a giant wedge of cheese. "My GOD, this cheese is amazing! Voldemort, where did you say it was from?!"

"A town called Al Mamoon… COUGH, cough!" The frail pale wizard exhaled.

"You're all wasteful." Madara said, drinking a bottle of saké with Aizen. "All I need to do is throw everyone in a world into slumber with my Tsukuyomi. There is no reason for conflict."

"I don't think Bill lets them have very good dreams." Aizen replied. "Still, Tsukuyomi sounds like it would be one hell of a drug."

"Oh, BOYS! Sorry to interrupt the sausage fest, but I thought you would like some new company!" Bill walked in with the Backup Army behind him. "MEET the Backup Army! No, I'm not thinking of replacing any of you, I just thought we needed the extra help."

"Oh, goody, a hot spring!" Millennium Earl beamed. "I haven't had a good rinsing in eons!" He disrobed and bounced into the Dark Spring.

"Oh, great." Ganondorf groaned. "That's just what we need. More imbeciles."

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!" DIO jumped into the spring and splashed his way over, locking arms with Ganon in an arm-wrestle fashion. "I am DIO, Lord of the Vampires, and in my world I am a GOD!"

"Yeah, yeah." Ganon casually set his hand aflame. "I heard it before."

"AGH!" DIO splashed his burning hand in the spring—"WHY WON'T THE WATER DOUSE IT?!"

"Pitiful child." Zorc snickered.

"Ahhhh…" The minute Esdeath's naked body set foot in the normal spring, the water cooled. "The water is magnificent. …" She paid a glance to Zeref beside her. "You're a cute one. Have a girlfriend?"

"I did. Once. …She's dead." Zeref spoke grimly.

"Aww, that's a shame. I guess that means you're open." She softly stroked his cheek.

"If I was interested, you would be dead."

"My God, you're delightful."

"I'll show ya delightful." Teach smirked. "Oi, you with the over-compensating sword, cut this boy's head!"

Sephiroth raised his blade and chopped Zeref's head. The wizard sighed in agony. "ZEE HA HA! We play 'Try To Kill Zeref' as a pastime!" Teach laughed.

"Unfortunately, no one wins."

"Not until TODAY!" DIO climbed out of the Dark Spring, grabbed Zeref's head, and froze it solid before crushing it to pieces. All those jillion pieces melted in the spring and reformed again. "Wow. Suddenly, everybody's good at reforming their body."

"Not everybody." Madara said, remembering someone similar to Zeref.

"Well, aren't you men handsome." Ragyō surfaced between Madara and Aizen. "You know, most bathhouses keep men separate from women. Of course, Adam and Eve were of opposite gender, yet there were no walls to divide them. After all…" She wrapped hands around the two in a seductive fashion. "Being in a tub with a naked woman creates unsettling feelings, doesn't it?"

"COUGH, COUGH!" Voldemort began to climb out of his tub. "I need more unicorn blood!"

"OH MY GOD! !" Ragyō shut her eyes at the atrocious sight.

"Nudity is officially a sin." Aizen commented.

"I like it here already." Sephiroth said, relaxing in the dark spring. "So, Ganondorf… who's the kid? Is he Bill's brother or something?"

"I am the King of Darkness, you ignorant bird!" Zorc growled.

"So he claims." Ganon chuckled. "In fact, Dio almost looks like he's their elder."

"It's pronounced DIO!" Dio hissed.

"That's what I said."

"No, you have to shout it in big letters. DIO!"

"How about I lower-case the 'd' instead?"

"Lookee, I already made a card for you!" Zorc drew a crayon picture of Dio on a card, labeled 'deo.'

"I REFUSE TO BE MOCKED BY YOU IGNORANT FOOLS ANY LONGER! I WILL ESTABLISH MY AUTHORITY, NO MATTER HOW MANY ALL CAPS I HAVE TO USE. I AM LORD DIO, AND I AM A GOD AMONG MAN AND DEMON! And I command all of you to FREEZE BEFORE MY STUDDED GLORY!" With a flashy flex of his diamond-hard muscles, the bathroom froze along with the entire _Dutchman_.

"…Well, there's one more person I won't be marrying." Esdeath said, conceding defeat.

"I just realized I can't use my Devil Fruit in this water…" Teach grunted.

"Ahhh… It's so nice to see new friends getting along." Bill smiled, frozen as well. "And I thought the Brotherhood of Evil had a nice cast. Now we're making them look like a joke."

 **Murphy Household; that night**

Maddy returned home after a long day of no work, watching Amazon Gladiators on TV—it was actually a broadcast from Amazonia that was recorded and sent to her by Mocha, for her friend enjoyed taking part in the bouts. Her front door opened, looking up to see her brother finally come home. "Zach? Did you spend the whole day with that girl?"

"Maddy, it was amazing!" Zach was flapping his arms in a silly fashion. "Mako and I grew a steak tree today! At first, I was confused because steak is a meat and meat isn't a plant, but then she pointed out that animals grow like plants, even though they're made of meat, so all we had to do was put skin cells in the water and let 'em work their magic! Look, I brought us a prime cut baby steak!" He handed Maddy a cradle.

 _"Waaaaah!"_ A baby steak was crying.

"Ew!" She set it aside. "Well, it sounds like you had fun. You gonna hang out with her again?"

"Yep, we're gonna meet up tomorrow! Did you know Mako has a little brother, too? He wants to become a Master Thief when he grows up—their parents don't support him, but Mako does, because he's likely to find a genie lamp and marry a rich princess!"

"Or maybe he'll touch an ancient pirate treasure and be cursed into a skeleton. So, you going to entertain me with some late night comedy again? (I never realized how quiet it was without you.)"

"Actually, I was thinking of converting the living room into a banana factory run by magma demons, but I realized they would just burn everything they touch, so with no bananas, everybody in the world will switch to apples, and the gods will have to change the color of the sun to red to appeal to the popular opinion! Soooo… I really got nothin'. But I'll have a new plan soon, just you wait! No sister of mine is goin' to bed without laughs! Until then, I'll be in my Think Dome!" He ran off.

"Don't be late for dinner, Zach! Sigh…" She propped her elbow on the armrest. "'Guess I get a few more minutes of no headache."

Zach came to dinner still in his Think Dome, which was a round metal shelter. Little aliens flew out in mini saucers to take pieces of Zach's food to carry it inside. "So, did anything happen today, Son?" Doug asked.

 _"SILENCE! HIS INSERIOUSNESS IS THINKING!"_ an alien shouted.

"First I heard of it."

"Zach met a girl today." Maddy answered for him. "They spent the day together."

"He's already dating?" Gwen asked. "Just when I thought I figured out his maturity rate."

"Don't get your hopes up, Mom. It sounds like this girl is gonna make him more whacky than ever."

"But that's a good thing, isn't it? Since we know why Zach behaves like he does?" Doug mentioned. "By the way, told you it wasn't my fault."

"Yeah, but it also means we won't get a good night's rest. Just wait, second Zach pops out of that dome, it's 'Drink Your Milk' heavy metal."

However, the rest of their night was relaxing and quiet. Zach remained inside his Think Dome, and no jokes echoed from within its walls. The next morning, when Maddy went down to the dining room, she saw the dome was still there. "Zach?" She knocked on it. "You aren't over-exerting your brain cells, are you? Zach?"

She climbed on and opened the hatch at the top, gasping quietly. Zach had turned into a tree stump with a frowning, dumb face. Maddy climbed off and casually picked the dome up and threw it aside, exposing her brother to the light. "Zach, what's wrong?"

"…I'm a stump."

"You're stumped?"

Zach changed back, "I can't think of anything! One minute, I wanna open a jackhammer massaging service, but the jackhammers wanna be paid in snowcones, because the coldness of snowcones can freeze someone's tastebuds stiff, but as jackhammers have no tastebuds, it'll have the opposite effect, allowing jackhammers to retire happily on Candycane Mountain. Then I finally thought I had something with my idea for gorilla lullabies, but you wouldn't BELIEVE what they-"

"Zach, just get to the point!"

"I've been infected by Mako's logicitis! She's so smart, and she's funny at the same time! IT'S USUALLY ONE OR THE OTHER! I mean, why else do you think Mr. Gilligan wasn't funny?! Because he already chose smarts! And Numbuh 4 was so stupid, you just wanna laugh! Though I heard once that he was dropped when he was little, and it's impolite to laugh at someone who's brain-damaged—but it's okay for kids to do it 'cause they don't know any better, so in a way they're stupid too, so it's okay to laugh—SEE, I'M DOING IT AGAIN!"

"I think I see what the problem is, Zach." Maddy smirked. "You're clearly in love with Mako. You love her so much, she's the only thing you think about. It's even surpassing your love for comedy."

He gasped. "You're right! Then there's only one thing I can do to fix my stumpiness!"

 **Newbase**

"YOU'RE DECOMMISSIONING YOURSELF?!" Maddy panicked.

"I can't stop thinking about her, Maddy! There's no other solution: erasing my memory is the only way to get my comedy back!"

"But this means you're going to set your mind back three years! That means by the time this voyage is over, you'll be as strong as you were RIGHT NOW! It's not worth it!"

"I MUST!" Tears of passion leaking from his eyes, he plopped himself in the seat. "Laughter is the only thing I'm good at! It's the only way I'm useful! If the power of laughter will help me save the universe, I'll sacrifice it over my memory!" He aimed to push the button.

"STOP, YOU IDIOT!" Maddy grabbed his arm to restrain him. "There has to be another way!"

"THERE IS! !" called a voice from the entrance.

 _Haaaalleluja!_ Mako crossed her arms in an 'X' and made her presence known. "According to Zach's last X-ray, his brain is the size of a pea, so the memory-wiping force of a toilet plunger will suck it out altogether. It'll ruin his sense of humor worse than love would. But it's not love that's hurting Zach's comedy: IT'S A LACK OF CONFIDENCE!"

"Confidence?" repeated Maddy.

"Indeed, Zach was so befuddled by my intellect that he thought his own intellect was inferior. Which it is, but in a good way! Because after all, laughter is a medicine that ALL doctors should prescribe! But it isn't just me that's lowering his confidence. It's YOU, MADDY!"

"Me?!"

"You're so serious and boring, you never laugh at Zach's jokes OR support his gags! You make him feel like he isn't funny! Sure, you might get annoyed if he holds up a line, but Zach is being who he is, and that makes him special!"

"…Do I… really make you feel that way, Zach?"

"…I never thought about it." Zach scratched his forehead. "It never bothered me that much before, honestly. I mean, sisters are supposed to be unfunny."

"That much is true!" Mako declared with a raise of a finger. "But a good sister always supports her brother! And they stick to each other 'til the very end! Just like Dipper and Mabel!"

Somewhere else, Mabel had glued hers and her brother's cheeks together. Mabel was grinning, but Dipper was frowning.

"But Zach has other people that do gags with him. Like Jar Jar." Maddy told her.

"True, but if Zach did gags with you, you may find that his humor becomes a bit better. Which may lead to stronger attacks." Mako winked.

"Maybe you're right… All right, Zach, how about it?"

"I guess we could do something together. But what if Mako's logicitis gets to me again?!"

"Then just remember that logic doesn't always need attention!" Mako stated confidently. "And if it gets in the way, just work around it with a little nonsense! Zach… I would like you to have something. I brought it from home to give to you." Mako took off a black jacket and gave it to him.

"What is it?"

"This jacket was worn by a close friend of mine. It made her feel confident, even though she was a real nutcase, and liked to strip a lot! I'm sure it'll do the same for you."

"…" Zach stared at the piece of clothing in his hands. "Thank you… Senpai."

"You're welcome. Good-bye… Padawan."

The chamber turned into a grass meadow under an orange sky. _"MAKOOOOO!"_ Zach ran after his beloved, crying. _"DON'T LEAVE ME! There's so much I don't know!"_

 _"You will find your way, Zachary!"_ Mako was sailing away in a flying balloon house. _"I know you will! Trust in your heart!"_

 _"My teacheeeeerrrr!"_

 _"This isn't farewell, Zach! I will see you again… at lunch today! Just look for me… across the mess hall!"_

Zach collapsed to his hands, wetting the ground with tears. He heard footsteps behind him: the steps of his sister. "Zach… isn't there something we should be doing?"

"Maddy?" He turned around.

She was wearing a banana bunch hat and holding multiple jackhammers. "It's time to open that banana factory."

"…" He wiped his tears. "I'll get the snowcones! Wait, where should we build the factory?"

"This open field looks pretty good."

"Neato! Let's get to work!" And with that, the peaceful sunset meadow was overshadowed by a factory that reeked with potassium. The sunset was forever blocked by the structure.

* * *

 **You wouldn't believe how much writer's block this chapter endured. So, Mako is from _Kill la Kill_ along with Ragyō, DIO is from _JoJo's Bizarre Adventure_ , Esdeath's from _Akame ga Kill_ , Sephiroth's from _Final Fantasy VII_ , and the Earl is from _D. Gray-Man_.**


	14. Camping Trip

**Aisa needs more character development! Also, credits to Sarstar98 for helping with today's Thirteen skit!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 14: Camping Trip_**

 ** _King Dutchman_**

"YOU WANT THIS, don't ya?!" Bill Cipher was leaning out the _Dutchman_ 's window, wagging a dead gargoyle at a crowd of lawless gangsters. "You want this mystical creature 'cause you ain't got NOTHIN'! You got NOTHIN' to whack around any mo'! Go on, GIT IT!" He tossed out the gargoyle and watched the rowdy ruffians tear it to shreds.

"Ahhh…" Bill sat back on his chair with a satisfied smile. "There's getting to be a bit much of them, though. We oughta open a zoo up. So, how's that sign-up sheet comin'?"

 _"It is finished!"_ A purple armored alien with long robotic fingers and a green glass eye gave Bill a paper. _"Are you happy that I defiled this tree even further?!"_

Bill skimmed the paper. "Okay, your name is Dark Oak, ruler of the Metarex… you were commissioned by _4Kids_? Eeesh…" Bill winced at the knowledge. "Well, you're regarded as a childhood favorite, and you did well in the physical. Okay, you're in the Backup Army. Knock 'em dead, champ!"

After Dark Oak exited the office in aggravation, the white-clothed general of the Backup Army entered with a smile. "General Esdeath, why hello! Marvelous job what you did to the Seven Deadly Sins. I'm sure even Ganondorf was thankful."

"It was child's play. But I'm happy to be acknowledged for my work. I would like to make a request, Bill."

"Sure! Me and Lord English, we're like genies! Heck, Thanos, too. Comes with having unlimited power. What can we grant you today?"

"Someone with whom to have sex with."

That even caught Bill off guard. "Right, your show is definitely _not_ for kids. Wellp, if you want a sex slave, I have 31 shrunken princes in soup cans. Some of them are parallel universe versions of each other."

"Perhaps I'll have a look, but I don't just want any man. Back in my homeworld, I met this boy named Tatsumi. There wasn't anyone like him." Esdeath smiled and hugged her chest, fantasizing. "So kind, so handsome, so modest, yet so brave… alas, fate placed us on opposing sides, and we just weren't meant to be. And once all this started happening, he seems to have gone into hiding. However, in this world of infinite worlds, why should you not be able to find someone new? I may as well use my new friends to help me find a date."

"Meh, I've heard worse uses of time." Bill shrugged, poofing a paper and notepad. "So, what's this Tatsumi boy like? This will help us narrow down who to kidnap."

Esdeath proceeded to narrow down Tatsumi's key points: a slender young man who's both brave and strong, kind of talks in a calm tone. "Alright, I think I got a good visual. Though I guess you wouldn't want Zeref, would you?"

The black mage in question was looming outside the office. His dark, depressing aura soaked him like damp water, and his stare peered at their souls. "No." stated Esdeath.

"Alright, then let's go Boy Hunting!" Bill loaded his Net Musket.

 **Planet Earth**

In the thick groves of a pine forest, one would discover a lone silver train, but with no tracks to be seen for miles, it looked very out-of-place. It seemed to be a recent phenomenon, for several pairs of footprints led away from the train. One pair was larger than the others.

These five footprints belonged to the girls of Sector W7. All had large packs strapped to their backs (with April's being a briefcase) and they had walked almost six miles, following the lead of their Shandian Nimbi friend, Aisa, who was not wearing her hat. "Huuuuuum." Aeincha moaned with exhaust. "I feel like my legs are twigs when I'm hiking."

"You don't get to nag, you little hair-snoozer!" Chimney whined, for her tiny friend was actually laying comfily on her head. "We've been doing all the walking!"

"I know! But imagining how achy your feet must be is having a nasty effect on my own." Aeincha smiled innocently.

"I went camping once when I was three years old." Mocha smiled at a memory. "A bear thought I was one of its cubs, so it took me home. I was so small, you know!"

"Now you could probably capture a bear as IF it were a cub!" Apis joked. "Still, Aisa, we passed a few good places already, why couldn't we set up camp in one of them?"

"The higher we are up the mountain, the closer we are to the sky!" Aisa grinned with enthusiasm. "No doubt, we are crossing soil walked by the Native Shandians! I can feel the very breath of my ancestors!"

"Ew." Chimney said. "I don't see why we couldn't land the R.O.C.K.E.T.-T.R.A.I.N. up here. And better yet, we could sleep in it instead of these dumb tents. I don't like being this far from my baby!"

"We spend too much time in Water 7, Chimney. It's a pretty place, but we need to embrace nature more."

"You only doing this 'cause you wanna 'explore your cultural roots' or some crud. Why drag us along?!"

"I think it would be pretty healthy for us, Chimney!" Mocha said. "The Amazons do this sorta thing, too, like hunting animals. So, it's kinda like we're exploring our OWN roots!"

"Yeah, but if that were the case, I wouldn't have let you guys wear shoes." Aisa replied. "I just thought it would be more fun with friends!"

At the top of the hill, the girls arrived at a flat, open area exposed to the bright blue sky. "This looks like a good spot. Time to set up!"

Chimney plopped her giant pack on the ground, working with Apis to pull out the tent and set up. Gonbe climbed out of a pocket on the pack, wondering why he woke up. "Old-timey bologna." Chimney whined. "Oi, April-chan, what's in that briefcase you been carrying?"

"I asked Wendy to make this for me." April set the briefcase down several feet away from the others and clicked it open. A large white tent burst from it, the entranced labeled _Studio Goldenweek_.

"WHAAAAAT?! Aisa, why she get to have that?!"

"Because she needed the extra space to store her art, so I made the exception." Aisa said. "She can't live without the arts, can she? Alright, so who wants to explore the area with me?!"

"Nah-uh!" Chimney took out a bag of trail mix. "I explored enough and didn't even get to eat this stuff! It's camp site mix now. Nom, nom…" She munched the raisins and chocolate aggressively.

"I'd be happy to go with you, Aisa!" Mocha grinned.

"Me, too!" April said, holding a bag of canvases.

"I'll stay to make sure Chimney doesn't eat everything." Apis offered. "I know many a camper that nearly perished in the woods because of a hungry selfish friend."

"Are you forgetting the freaking giant we have ta buy extras for?" Chimney inquired.

"Whaddya think I packed in MY bag?" Mocha drew out a giant sirloin. "I'm set!"

"Hehe, okay, girls! Let's go!" announced Aisa.

Deeper in the forest, April set up a canvas and proceeded to paint the scene. Aisa was climbing the trunk of a very tall tree, and despite its rather smooth texture, her hands and feet stuck to it firmly. She climbed to the very top and clasped the branches with her feet as she looked across the forest. She took a deep breath, cupped her hands around her mouth, and hollered, _"OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOOOO!"_

"What are you doing, Aisa?!" Mocha called with a humorous smile.

"Hopefully not what I think she is." April painted a picture of Aisa on top of a tree, checking a phone, and going 'Lol.'

Aisa hopped down and landed firmly on her feet. "I don't know if my people had a tribal cry, I just winged it! I managed to find this while I was up there." She held up a red berry that was bigger than her fingertips. "It's a Blood Berry. It's as red as blood, but it's not real blood." She grinned. "April, you mind painting this on me? You brought a small cup like I asked you to, right?"

"I did!" April took out a small cup and let Aisa squeeze the berry's juice into it. "How do you want it painted?"

"Like this:" Aisa told April to paint scratch marks on her cheeks, and thin, snaky lines on her arms to represent wind. "Thanks! I really feel the Shandian blood coursing through me now! I gotta make me a spear!" She quickly climbed up the same tree and set foot on a branch. She jumped multiple times in attempt to loosen it, applying strength from her Red-Foot Style so that the branch would snap off.

Aisa recovered easily from the fall and withdrew a knife from her satchel. She started carving the branch. "I've never seen you with this much energy, Aisa." Mocha said.

"That's probably an after-effect of the Blood Berry. My mom said our people used to paint it on their skin to energize their selves and boost their strength. But if you eat it, your blood will boil over and you might explode."

"Gulp!" Mocha clutched her neck, feeling her throat burn from the very idea.

"The wind designs represent my connection with the sky and the scratch marks mean I've been in battle. But I plan to earn more markings, so April, hold onto that cup."

In about 10 minutes, Aisa was finished carving. "That's a spear if I ever saw one." she said proudly, standing her wooden weapon up. "If ya need me, I'll be at the river!" She raced off.

"Just what were Aisa's people like? Because she really doesn't seem like other Nimbi."

"The Shandians are the Indians from pre-colonial days." April explained, painting a picture. "The humans forced them to retreat to the sky, but since most Shandians were flightless, it wasn't easy living."

"So, there's not many Shandians left?" Mocha frowned. "No wonder she feels so happy to be out here. She's keeping the memory of her people alive."

"I guess she is." April painted an image of Aisa standing on a defeated bear with long claws, holding the spear proudly. "But she does a good job at it."

 ** _King Dutchman_**

"LADIES and GENTLEMEN!" Bill announced as neon lights shone around the dining room. "It's time for the First Annual 'Date or Esdeath' Dating Show! Which lucky man will Esdeath choose as her groom-to-be, and which will join the princes in the soup cans?! Our contestants will be rated by a panel of judges." Spotlights shone on Davy Jones, Zeref, and Voldemort. "These three young men are so disdainful with love that they're perfectly non-biased. Now, why don't we introduce Esdeath to her first date? Hailing from the Realm of EVA, it's…"

A meek young man in a plain white shirt, black pants, and brown hair walked up to his date. "H-Hi. Miss Esdeath, right? My name is Shinji."

"Hm… he doesn't seem that impressive." Esdeath said.

"THINK AGAIN!" Bill bellowed, startling Shinji. "This brave young hero destroyed a powerful god with sheer willpower (and his giant robot thing)! He's slain dozens of titanic monsters, yet listen to that modesty!"

"Haha… I wouldn't call myself a hero." Shinji blushed.

"Alright, I think we're getting somewhere." Esdeath smiled. "Now, what should we do for our date?"

"Um… how about a walk on the beach?"

"Sounds perfect! Do they have beaches in your world? Perhaps I'll visit."

"U-Um… well…" Shinji gulped, as if afraid to tell her something.

…

The blood-red sea graced the dull white sands. A red sliver had cut across the moon. Giant bodies were suspended like crucifixes. Shinji was shivering on the ground in utter despair. Not a single soul was alive in this world. "…This place blows." Esdeath said.

 _ANK-AAANK!_ Bill pressed a buzzer, indicating a failure. "Wow, that date blew up like LCL! But let's hear what our judges think."

"What in God's name did you do to the ocean?!" Jones asked.

"I would kiss Harry Potter before I dated you." Voldemort remarked.

"There's not an ounce of love in that world…" Zeref sighed.

"Well, at least you tried, Shinji. Time for some inverse thermal expansion." Bill zapped the boy and shrank him into a can, kicking it away. "Our next contestant comes from the Realm of Creators! Come on up, Sōta Mizushino!"

Another brown-haired boy with amber eyes behind glasses walked up. "Eh?!" The boy panicked, as if recognizing her. "Altair?! You're behind this?!"

"Altair? Who's that?" asked Esdeath.

"Y-You're… Hehe, I guess I mistook you for someone else." Sōta blushed. "Anyway, do you like anime? I draw anime as a hobby."

"How fascinating. You feel like drawing me?"

"Eh… I guess." Sōta got out a digital sketchpad while Esdeath made a sexy pose. "So, given your large breasts, I'm guessing you're from a hentai."

"Excuse me?!" Esdeath frowned in disgust.

"I mean, all of you are obviously Creations. And you kind of seem like a fanservice character, so it makes sense you're popular enough to—AAAAHH!" Esdeath slashed her sword viciously, dividing his sketchpad, as well as his clothes.

"Aren't we all just figments of each other's imagination?" Bill asked. "Judges, whaddo you think?"

"What an idiot-ah." Jones remarked.

"As dense as Muggles come." Voldemort followed.

"I feel envy in his heart." Zeref said.

"Sorry, Sōta, no date for you." Bill concluded. "If you like Creations so much, go create yourself a girlfriend!" He trapped Sōta in a can and kicked away. "Our next date comes from a version of the Mobius Multiverse. This strapping young scientist is Chris Thorndyke!"

An 18-year-old man in a cream-colored turtleneck, ginger hair, and sweet blue eyes approached. "So, you're this Esdeath lady I've been told about." Chris spoke in a handsome voice. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but I already have a girlfriend."

"So, what?" Esdeath hugged and pressed her chest to his, Chris blushing. "In this lawless world, we can have all the girlfriends we want, can't we?"

"'Long as it's okay with the Big Man." Bill said. Right on cue, they heard thumping, seeing Lord English walk by the doorway. He was posed like a gorilla as he looked in, and gave thumbs-up. Then he walked away.

"Sigh, I don't have a choice, do I?" Chris sighed. "If you must know, I'm a scientist. My greatest accomplishment was…!" The man's body began to swell in and out. "Uh-oh! Uuuaaaaahh!" Within seconds, he shrank into his clothes. His 12-year-old head poked out of his oversized turtleneck.

"Y-You're a child?!" Esdeath gasped.

"Sorry… I travel through dimensions a lot, and it had this negative side-effect. Sometimes, not all my body parts grow or shrink with me. …Ehhh…" He blushed, already feeling an example.

 _AAAAANK!_ "Yeesh, even Shinji couldn't beat that." Bill remarked. "Judges?"

"I remember coming across a universe that you and I existed in." Jones commented. "And I feel the need to eat your soul-ah."

"You lost me at 'scientist.'" Voldemort said.

"This boy possesses passionate love." Zeref said. "And it burns strongly for animals. …Very strong."

"Okay, not the worst judgment." Bill shrugged. "Don't worry, we'll set your proportions straight." And Chris was shrunk into the soup can.

"Hi, Miss Esdeath." A boy in a brown sweater and messy brown hair greeted modestly. "I'm Makoto Naegi. They call me the Ultimate Lucky Student back home."

"Well, you're a very lucky man indeed." She smiled slyly. "Scoring a girl like me."

"I wouldn't call it lucky to live in an apocalyptic world of despair."

"Oh, pish-posh. I, for one, LOVE the despair boys~"

 _"You think he knows anything about despair?"_ another voice hissed from the doorway. Makoto gasped, twisting slowly in utmost fear: a young man with scowling green eyes appeared. He looked as if he had never known a day of hope. "Imagine waking up one morning, barely inches from the jaw of a Titan." Eren Yeager rasped, his rage ever growing. "The smell of the blood of all those you love, digesting in its bowels. And I'm not talking about the pink blood your piece of shit universe has… _I mean real blood. Real… despair…"_

"Um, actually," Makoto tried to scoot away, "I think I'd better go-"

"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, NAEGI!" Eren lunged at him, sword drawn. "YOU'RE GOING TO FACE REAL DESPAIR!"

"AAAAAAHHH!" Makoto ran all around the room, resulting in Eren slicing the dining table to pieces. Eren sliced Bill's hat in half, Jones' tentacles in half, Voldemort's cloak, exposing his nudity, and Zeref's head, which flipped and fell on the table, his expression unchanging.

"Now, there's a boy I can relate to." Jones said.

"His hatred is inspiring." Voldemort smiled.

"He sickens me." Zeref scoffed.

"Grrrr! Just forget it!" Esdeath shouted. "None of these men feel right for me! In all these infinite universes, there is only one Tatsumi. I was a fool to think I could replace-"

"HEY, get back in there!" Bill yelled when a sky-blue-haired boy zipped out of the holding room. The boy—Nagisa Shiota—swiftly dodged the beams from Bill's wand and threw a knife at Esdeath. She gasped, almost suspecting she would be cut—the rubber knife bounced against her neck— **CLAP**! Nagisa clapped behind her, startling the general to where she was stunned in place. "Dammit, catch that prisoner!" Bill raced after him.

Esdeath's heart was beating rapidly, not from fear, but with… a different emotion. She blushed, putting a hand to her cheek. "That boy… was so… bold. Perhaps I spoke too soon…"

"Heeeeeeelp!" Makoto was still running from Eren's wrath.

 **A river in the forest**

"Oi, where are all the stupid fish hiding?" Chimney complained as she traipsed through a river with Aein on her head. "The whole point of water is to give us fish to eat! Does Aisa expect me to live off s'mores the whole time?"

"They certainly fill _my_ tummy up!" Aein happily rubbed her belly. "Maybe you should join me again, Chimney?"

"Hnn? Hey, I just got an idea!" Chimney grabbed Aeincha and dangled her above the river. "Oiiii, fishiiiees! Yummy, delicious food!"

"WAAAAH! Chimney, you're so cruel, sacrificing me to eat fish—aren't you part-mermaid, this is cannibalism, you're twisted! !"

"Aha, there's one!" Chimney saw a fish coming up—it was instantly stabbed with a wooden spear.

"Thought you could escape me, huh?!" exclaimed Aisa, raising the stabbed fish. "Sorry, but it's the fire for you!" She tossed it toward a pile of stabbed fish. "Beautiful! April, it's time for my next mark!"

"Your people earn a mark for making a pile of fish?" asked April.

"I don't know, but I certainly am!"

"Hmhm, okay!" With that, April dipped her brush in the Blood Berry juice and painted fish designs on the backs of Aisa's hands.

"Ha HAAAA! Boy, stabbing all those fish made me hungry. What'll I have to eat… Oh?"

Gonbe was sniffing the fish pile with the hopeful intent of devouring some. "GYOOOOOM!" Aisa's spear missed him by an inch.

"Hee hee hee! Sorry, Gonbe! …But I never realized how _tasty_ you look." Her eyes glimmered with hunger, complimented by a wide grin of big teeth. She licked her teeth. "Get in my belly!"

"GYOOOO…!" The bunny hopped for dear life, but Aisa caught up dangerously fast, not changing her terrifying expression. April was painting a four-legged Aisa chasing a rabbit.

The Shandian was quickly tackled by Chimney, hugging Aisa firmly. "'EY, Rule #01 of Sector W7, Aisa-chan: NO EATING MY NEKO!"

"Okay, sorry Chimney!" Aisa said joyfully. "I was just playing around."

"If you were hungry, why don't you eat the fish you just killed?" Aeincha asked.

"I didn't quite think of that. Wellp, I guess we're burning a fish mount!"

Aisa got two sticks, rubbed them together, and set the fish on fire. When they were cooked enough, Chimney used Fishman Karate to throw water from the river and douse the fire. Mocha ate most of the fish, grabbing handfuls like small roasted nuggets. "What are you guys doing?" Apis asked, coming to join them. "I saw smoke from the camp. Sniff sniff—ew, is that fish?!"

"You know, why didn't I think of that?" Chimney said. "Use Apis's powers to call the fish over!"

"That's it!" Aisa beamed. "Apis, can you use your telepathy to summon a bunch of birds?"

"Why?"

"Because it's time for target practice!" Aisa drew her bow. "My next mark will be of marksmanship!"

"You wanna shoot down innocent birds just for a 'mark'? Why don't you just… shoot the tops of trees or something?"

"Uuuuugh." Aisa huffed, finding non-moving targets to be boring. "Well, what do I need YOU for? I can easily spot birds with my Mantra!" She closed her eyes, pulled her bow, and relied on her sixth sense. She sensed a bird returning to its nest with a worm in beak – 30 feet upriver and 10 meters up—she shot the arrow and shot it down. "Ooo, a squirrel." She shot across the river, hitting the innocent critter as it fell out of its hole. A group of squirrels scampered out in a panic—Aisa expertly shot arrows and hit them dead on.

"Some over there!" Aisa shot two squirrels going across branches. "Hi, birdies!" She shot three birds flying overhead. "Look, ants!" She stuck arrows in the ground several feet upriver; the girls never would've noticed the bugs from this distance. "BEES!" She shot straight up and punctured a beehive. Buzzing sounds filled the air, for the bees knew who was at fault.

"AAAAH!" Apis screamed. _Bees, go away! Bees, go away! Bees, go away!_

 _"You wreck our hive and yer tellin' US to leave?! Bitch, we're gonna ruin your prom night!"_

"It's a bust guys, RUN FOR IT! !" The girls bolted, but when Aisa bravely tried to shoot some down, Mocha grabbed her friend and carried her off.

 **After the bees were appeased…**

April painted her next picture, depicting Aisa standing on an armed castle tower and blasting invaders with machineguns. Afterwards, she painted Blood Berry juice in the form of arrows on the backs of Aisa's feet. "Well, despite complications, your marksmanship was truly on point."

"Why the HELL didn't they sting April?!" Chimney shouted, she and the others scratching their swollen spots.

"Bees detect fear through guilt. I showed no fear, and therefore proved I was guiltless. Plus, I painted a red spot on that tree to draw them away from me." She pointed to said spot.

"Chimney, can I stay in here for the rest of the trip?" Aeincha was safely tucked inside her friend's zipper.

"Say, this is actually the perfect chance to earn my NEXT mark!" Aisa said ecstatically. "My Mark of Extraction!" She drew her knife. "You first, Mocha. Your stings are smaller."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Mocha yelped. "You're going to cut me?!"

"I'm going to cut a small gap in your flesh, suck out the poisoned blood, and spit it on the ground."

"Your people did this?"

"No, but I saw it in a movie, so it could work!"

"OKAY, AISA." Apis grabbed her arms before she could act. "I think you should cut down on the tribal rituals if you're thinking of cutting _us_."

"You know, if my people were still around to do this, we wouldn't need to waste money on doctors."

"Yah, but we also wouldn't have trains." Chimney stated. "Speaking of, can we go back to our nice, cozy train and SCREW the idea of camping ever again?"

"Fine, if you guys don't want a good old natural healing, then I'M going to try for my Mark of Strength, given only to the strongest in the tribe! And since you girls are the only 'tribe' I have, then I must defeat MOCHA!"

"Hee hee!" Mocha blushed awkwardly. "I'm flattered, Aisa, but I was hoping to get away from training on this trip."

"TOO BAD! We battle NOW!" Aisa leapt and KICKED Mocha in the eye, landing a stronger blow thanks to Red-Foot Style. With Mocha briefly stunned by the attack, Aisa wrapped her arms and legs around the giant's neck, applying all her strength to choke her.

"Aisa… stop!" Her grip was surprisingly tight. Mocha gently tried to pry Aisa off, not wishing to hurt her, but the gesture seemed meaningless. "It hurts… nnh!…"

But suddenly, Aisa was kicked off. "MOCHA AIN'T the strongest, baka!" The Shandian recovered to see her assaulter. "I AM!"

Aisa got up on her feet. "So be it, Chimney! You first!" She rushed up and kicked Chimney with the speed of a cannonball, but the quarter-mermaid quickly recovered to dodge any following attacks. Aisa endured Chimney's punches and countered with her own, before kicking Chimney's leg to knock her off-balance, grab her friend's neck, and throw her against the ground. "You had this coming a long time!" Aisa mercilessly began strangling her.

"ENOUGH, AISA!" Mocha clasped her in both hands.

"GRAAAH! Let me go, Mocha, I'll get you after I finish with Chimney!"

"A little shrink therapy never hurts anybody." April painted pink around Aisa's head, hypnotizing the Nimbi into thinking she's small and weak.

"Stop it! Let me goooo! I'm a Shandian warrior, you can't treat me like a-"

Chimney socked her in the eye and knocked her out cold. "That's enough outta you."

Mocha gently set Aisa on the ground. "I think something's wrong with her. Maybe we should go home and… get her help."

"Should we go to Haruka?" asked Aeincha, who had been entrusted to Apis before the scuffle.

"I was thinking someone else."

 **Water 7; Aisa's house**

Aisa groggily awoke to the face of her Shandian mother. Isa was finishing scrubbing off the markings on her arms. "M…Mom." Now fully awake, Aisa studied her arms and legs. "My markings! Mom, why?!"

"Your friends brought you to me after they said you'd been acting crazy. Aisa, don't you remember what I told you about Blood Berries?"

"Yeah, they make you energized if you paint it on your skin. But I didn't eat it, Mom, promise!"

"Hey, Mrs. …Aisa's Mom?" Apis hesitated, embarrassed she didn't know Aisa's last name. "Are those things that we mentioned really Shandian activities? Shooting birds and stabbing fish for fun, I mean?"

"I don't know where Aisa got those ideas because I never said we killed animals for fun."

"You don't remember ANYTHING our people used to do, Mom!" Aisa shouted. "Excuse me for making stuff up!"

"Sigh, it's true." Isa smiled, humored by the fact. "There's too few of us Shandians left. We've long since lost sight of our tribal customs. And because of that, I think we've lost our immunity to Blood Berries' effects. I'm sorry this had to happen to you, sweetheart."

"But Mom, I was trying to get in touch with our roots."

"I know you were, sweetie, and I'm glad you have such an interest in our culture. However, maybe instead of Blood Berry, use something else to draw your tribal marks. Like a sharpie!" Isa got a convenient sharpie from her pocket and drew the scratch marks on Aisa's face.

"Ugh! But it's not the same!"

"Neither is using the Blood Berry itself. Aisa, I didn't want to tell you this, but in truth, when our people earned a mark… they cut it into their bodies with a knife."

"HUH?! ?"

"JOKING!" Isa grinned. "But if that were actually true, would you still be as into our culture as you are now?"

"Are you saying we _did_ cut ourselves?"

"I'm saying that you don't have to follow your roots to the point of destroying yourself. Don't feel like it's your job to keep our culture alive and just live in the present."

"That's exactly what I been telling her!" Chimney stated. "That's why I told her we should camp in the train and not the freaking forest where all the stupid bees are!"

"Heh heh heh…" Aisa giggled. She observed the bee stings still present on her friends' bodies. "I guess I did go a bit crazy, didn't I? I didn't mean for it to go that far, guys. I'm sorry for attacking you."

"Well, as long as we're all still alive in the end, we forgive you!" Aeincha replied.

"Hehe! Anyway, I would still like to go camping, but if you guys don't want to, I understand."

"GOOD, 'cause we DON'T!"

"Chimneeey!" Aein glared scoldingly.

"Ooooooohhhh fine. Nothing goes on on this island, anyway."

"Why don't I join you this time?" Isa offered. "Children should always be accompanied by a grown-up in the wilderness, no matter how strong you think you are."

"She might have a point there." Mocha said, feeling an itch on her neck. The giant had been watching outside the window throughout the interaction.

 **Pine forest**

Night had fallen by the time the girls returned to their camp. Aisa's friends agreed to take part in the tribal customs, so Isa wove brown skirts and tops for each of them while April painted makeup. "YOIIII, look-a-meeee, look-a-meeee, I'm a smelly forest girllll!" Chimney danced to the sound of a flute Isa was playing, and she had a train drawing around her waist. Gonbe mimicked her motions, going 'Gyooo, gyooo, gyoooo…' "I got no shoes, I got no house, just dirt and dance and straws!"

"Miss Isa, could you teach me the ways of Shandian cosmetology?" Aeincha kindly asked. A scissor blade was painted down each of her arms. "How did your people cut hair without scissors?"

"Now, how would I know that?" Isa laughed. "You've been my barber ever since me and Aisa moved!"

"I know, it was just wishful thinking." Aein frowned jokingly.

"You know what I realized?" Aisa said to Apis, sitting with her on a log as they roasted marshmallows. "Just about anything with you guys is more fun than any ritual my tribe could've had."

"That's because we ARE your tribe, Aisa! You should've known that." Apis grinned; she had Crosses painted on her cheeks.

"Well, each of us are different, so it kinda threw me off! But deep down, I'm sure I knew!" Aisa laughed. "Like Mocha said, we're family!"

"Ha ha!" Mocha gave a light chuckle. "…You know, if we're going to make a New Universe after all this is over, I wonder if we'd be allowed to bring the Shandians back."

"If we could, then I don't see why we shouldn't." Aisa said. "But I still plan to stick with you guys 'til the end."

"Sounds like an idea worth making." April finished her next canvas, depicting the friends dancing around a fire in their tribal getup under a crescent moon. The moon itself was another creation of hers shining in the painted sky.

* * *

 **And someone finally helped me think of a good Darkness scene!**


	15. Ice Cream Land

**Today's Thirteen skit features a new character from Sarstar98!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 15: Ice Cream Land_**

 **Oil Ice Mountain**

Summer was a wonderful time in even Iceland. With school out for everyone, kids were either joyfully playing at the playground or at the cool, refreshing pool. But Sector IC, on the other hand, were freezing on Oil Ice Mountain, simply because Suki wanted to play up there. "Wheeeee!" She left a glittery trail in her wake, gracefully skiing up and down slippery slopes on her own feet. "Hurry up, Sister-chan! Don't be sloooow!"

"We don't know how to control these things!" Terry shouted as he and his friends were sledding on the backs of sentient snowmen. "Or see the frickin' path we're supposed to race on!"

"I assume we're just supposed to follow Suki!" MaKayla called.

"Snowy Twister!" Suki sprouted up a cyclone of snow, catching the team inside as they screamed to the heavens.

After the cyclone vanished, the kids all plopped down onto the snow, along with the remains of their snowmen. "Snowball War!" Suki willed the large snowballs to levitate and chuck them against the older kids.

"No changing the game in the middle of one!" George retorted, molding and throwing a snowball, but the child caught it with bending, made it twice George's height, and crushed him with it.

Before they knew it, a wall of snow was rising around them, enclosing to become a giant snowball. "For the love of crud…" Terry moaned.

"YAAAAAAY!" Suki leapt on top of the giant snowball. As her friends' heads peeped out of it, Suki began balancing on and rolling the snowball downhill.

"Ow!" Terry yelped when Suki stepped on his head. "Why can we-" he was briefly buried under snow, "-never do any- ow!" stepped on by Suki, "-thing without-" buried in snow, "SUKI!"

"She's one of the Seven Lights, so she's going to need bodyguards by the time we get to the New World." MaKayla reasoned.

"What's a Seven Light, Miyuki-chan?"

"I take it she STILL doesn't know?" Lola questioned.

"Know what? Are you planning a surprise party, Sister-ch-"

The snowball CRASHED into a log cabin, half-burying it in snow. Miyuki poked out and said, "Uh-oh. I think this is the Climbers' house."

"I'm not shoveling an OUNCE of snow when it's Suki's fault!" Terry stated.

"It's okay, these people are pretty passive." Kayla said. "If we're lucky, they'll just bend the snow off their selves."

"DAMMIT, POPO!" The sudden shout prompted the kids to re-submerge in the snow. Nana stomped outside and examined the snow with anger. "I told you to play with the kids AWAY from the house! After getting your stupid ass fired, the LEAST you can do is show more concern for our WELFARE!"

"The kids aren't even HERE, stupid, what you think I rolled a snowball into our house for the heck of it?!" Popo yelled from inside.

"You know it ain't gonna be YOUR house for very long, this is probably some pre-meditative revenge scheme!"

"You're calling me a stupid-ass and you assume I can 'pre-meditate'?!"

The fighting continued as the five sectormates poked their heads out of the opposite side of the pile, making the shape of a ring. "This would actually explain the avalanches I've been hearing lately." Kayla said.

"Are we going to confess for their sake?" Terry asked begrudgingly.

"It's the right thing to do, Terry." George replied.

Immediately, Suki burst out of the snow (in the center of their ring), hands clamped over her ears as she ran. "Well, I guess a child's innocence results in dishonesty." Lola figured.

"Suki!" Miyuki pursued her.

"Hey, wait!" yelled Terry.

"Who's back there?" The others flinched when Nana and Popo stepped around to find them. "What are you kids doing? Popo, did you crush them in snow without looking?!"

"I DIDN'T DO THIS! !"

"Both of you calm down!" MaKayla helped herself out of the cold fluff. "The snowball was our fault, okay? We were playing higher up and it just happened on accident."

"But if we're being honest, it's mostly 100% Suki's fault, 'cause she trapped us in it." Terry noted.

"Oh, it's okay, kids." Popo smiled. "She was going to find some excuse to blame me, anyway."

"Well, I don't usually have you as the prime suspect for NOTHING."

"Right, 'cause we have to live in Eskimo days where HUSBAND is man of house, and husband does all work, not the lazy submissive wife! Why can't we just set up a tent while I hunt for meat?"

"YOU'RE living in a tent, I'm taking the kids and going somewhere else!"

"The Frozen HELL you are!"

"This series was better without the realism…" Terry said.

Miyuki followed Suki's footprints down a hill and around a ledge. "Suki?" She was sitting on the ground.

"Hi, Sister-chan!" She grinned happily. "I thought I saw a snow bunny, but I think I lost it. Then I realized, I could make my own snow bunny! Look!" She held up a tiny snow-made bunny in her palm. "Isn't he cuuute?"

Miyuki loomed her face very close to where the bunny could kiss the tip of her nose. "Ha ha!"

"I wanna keep him, but I think he wants to be with his family." She gently set the bunny near her feet and used bending to create a family of bunnies, frolicking happily among the flakes.

Miyuki smiled. The bunnies reflected her sister's innocence. She was ashamed to have to ruin it. "…Suki, now that we have a moment, there's something I need to tell you about."

"What, Miyuki-chan?"

"Um… you remember when we made you sit in that big room with all those other people? And that giant door opened, then there was the… big green monster?"

"I thought it was a school play!"

"Ha ha! Well, it wasn't. The thing is, Suki… you're sort of a Chosen One. You're one of Seven people who are supposed to save the universe."

"Tee hee hee! Don't be silly, Miyuki-chan! Why would somebody choose ME to save the universe? Don't they know I'm too young?"

"I really don't know, Suki." Miyuki chuckled. "But it's true. You have a really important job to do. In a few years, we're going to be fighting some powerful villains, and if we lose, everything we know and love will be destroyed."

"Nuh-uuuuh! Bad guys never destroy everything because we always win!"

"Yeah, but we can't underestimate these guys. I mean, we're only on this giant boat because Lord English destroyed our home universe."

"Giant boat? Sister-chan, what kinda crazy dream did you have? Do we gotta put you in the crazy house?"

"Wow… you don't even remember. Suki, I better just show you." Miyuki pulled Suki to her feet. "Nebula, warp us out!" In a flash, the sisters vanished. The snow bunnies collapsed into dead fluff.

 ** _Noah_**

The girls reappeared in the Planet Storage. "Whuh? How did we get here? Ooo, look at the pretty ornaments!" Suki pointed happily at the tiny planets. "Are you planning Christmas early?"

"Suki, those are planets. Shrunken planets. See, there's Earth. Nebula here shrunk them to keep them safe inside this ship. Come take a look."

Miyuki took Suki outside on the _Noah_ 's deck. A lime-green current surrounded them as they seemed to sail on endlessly. "Sister-chan… this is weird. Hey, look at that sting ray!" She pointed ahead. "It's so big! What's that big thing on its back?"

"Suki, don't you get it? The universe was destroyed, so we're all taking refuge on this ship. All the planets and everybody we know. And in about three years, they'll be relying on US to protect them. Part of that responsibility falls to you, because you're one of the Seven Lights. I'm trying to tell you so you'll be ready, Suki."

"R…Ready for what?"

"Ready to fight all the powerful villains I just mentioned. You need to become even better at icebending, and you need to learn how to use that key in your pocket."

"This little key that turns into a big key?" Suki drew her Keyblade. "Oop!" It suddenly poofed to sword size.

"Yeah. I think you need to learn to fight with it. Everyone's depending on you to protect them."

"But I don't know how to protect them!"

"I know. That's why you have to train and be ready to fight."

"But I don't wanna! It sounds hard!" Suki threw the Keyblade on the deck in anger. "Aah!" It poofed back to her hand.

"I don't think you have a choice, Suki…"

"NO, NO, NO, NO! !" Suki bashed the key against the deck in a fury. "I don't WANNA be a Light, don't WANNA! Miyuki-chan, quit joking with me! Tell me it's a joke!"

"Suki, it's not. I don't know how else to explain it to you. It's…It's your destiny."

"NOOOOOOO!" Suki dropped the Keyblade and ran back into the hull. The key poofed to her hand, she dropped it, it poofed back, she dropped it…

"Suki… I'm sorry…"

 ** _King Dutchman_**

Bill's morning began like any other: not knowing if it was really morning in this out-of-shape universe. He just felt like going to sleep, now he feels like waking up. He lazily limped to the bathroom, showered in some kind of dark water, and brushed his teeth with gold toothpaste. With a snap of his fingers, he was in his normal attire. "Ah, another day, another apocalypse." he said as he pushed open the door to his office.

"WAAAAAAAHHHH!" The peace and quiet was ruined by a familiar scream.

"That's why I didn't get an alarm clock." Bill said, heading in the voice's direction. "Baldy, what are you crying about this… time?!"

"BILL! HEEEEELP!" It seemed that the Multiverse Portal was spiraling out of control, and Baldy's eyes were seen in it. "I woke up with a serious case of the swirlies! Get me my brain-numbing medicine!"

"Haha, so Dimentio decided to pull a little prank on you, did he? Okay, you can let him go now."

"Unfortunately, that isn't me." Bill turned, shocked to find Dimentio behind him. The jester's face appeared far more gloomy than usual. "I don't know why, but I feel far more empty today." An aura of Death brimmed around him.

"YOU! SQUID FREAK!" bellowed Yellow Diamond's voice down the hall. Bill walked out, seeing the giant covered in barnacles and a tentacled beard. "What did you DO TO ME?!"

"I could ask the very same-ah!" replied Jones, flicking a wand that made a wall explode. He was also in his human form. "This wand smells like a naked man! I miss not having a nose."

"Zorc! Where are you?!" A little card wobbled up the hall, containing Voldemort. "I know you're behind this! Hey, what are you doing with my wand, Jones?!"

"Who stole my Infinity Gauntlet?!" Thanos stomped into the room, burning with dark flames.

"I saw Teach scratching his armpit with it." Ganon replied, sparking with lightning.

"Xehanort, what are all your keys doing in my room?" Madara asked, carrying a load of Keyblades in his arms and discarding them on the floor.

"Do I seem odd to anyone?" Xehanort seemed to be flickering between distorted body parts, holding Aizen's sword. "I feel odd today…"

"Oof! Has anyone seen my sword?!" Aizen was walking around dizzily, using Madara's Sharingan to see. "I feel like I can see everything, yet I see nothing! Ow!"

"Someone just tell me what's going on here…" Zeref walked in, his body having changed into a jack-in-the-box.

"Hey, fellas! Enjoying my Easter Eggs?!" taunted an unknown voice. Bill looked toward his office, the Darknesses following him. "I mean, we can make it any holiday we want in a dimension without time, right?" A figure rotated in Bill's office chair before resting his gold-plated boots on the desk and stopping. The strange man had silvery-black hair with matching goat horns, and black and silver armor that seemed to highlight his abs.

"Oh, great. Dimentio, did you let in another drifter?" Bill asked.

"If I did, he went right under my nose."

"Let's just say invisibility powers are common." The man said, flicking a glass ball into the air and catching it. "Name's Pyronem. Blood Knight to the Devil of Deprivation." He tossed a business card to Bill, who skimmed the info.

"'Blood Knight, Daemonis… Special skill: Stealing peoples' powers'?" Bill cocked a brow.

"Bingo, right on the dot!" Pyronem showed more balls between his fingers before they left with a slight-of-hand. "I basically did one of those rock-in-a-cup shuffle games, but with their powers."

"Right, right, sure ya did. Well, how 'bout I just call up the Big Man and have him erase you from existence, okay?"

"No worries, man!" Pyro was up on his feet, flashing the 'A-OK' sign. "I already spoke with your boss and he was okay! By the way, did you know that in some universes, this sign is racist?"

"Yeah, that was the media's fault." Bill shrugged. "Honestly, they're just asking to be destroyed—WAIT, whaddyou mean he was okay?!"

"See for yourself~" Pyro chucked a ball that poofed into a TV, showing static before it played a recording of Lord English reading a story to Pyro.

 ** _"And so, the white-haired emo chick decided she was okay with the purple albino boy painting her nails. They lived happily ever after and had emo albino babies. I wanna write a sequel, but I wanna think of a name for emo-albino hybrids."_**

 _"How about 'Emobino'?" Pyro asked._

 ** _"YES! THAT IS BRILLIANT! Those names were just asking to be fused! Like two interlinking hands, they fit!"_**

 _"They sure do, Big Man! Your writing is truly inspiring!" Pyro grinned with pure dishonesty. "I can't wait for the next piece! So-can-I-do-the-thing?"_

 ** _"Of course! Anything for a fan! But only for a day, we can't goof around forever."_** _English snapped his fingers and poofed a card in Pyro's hand._

"See? A day pass to use my power on the Darknesses!" Pyro held it for confirmation.

 _BOOOOOM!_ The ship suddenly rumbled violently under the familiar quaking of Blackbeard's Tremor power. However, the quake originated from Truman Zorc's tiny left foot, the child having just walked in in his pajamas. "So, that's why my room fell to pieces! You have a lot of nerve."

"Zehahaha! It's not much different from my own power, at least!" Teach laughed, flexing the Infinity Gauntlet's fingers.

"Where are you getting off with this, Pyro-boy?" Bill asked.

"Come on, Cipher, you want allies, right? Well, I know a couple-a guys who'd just love to get in on this business! They're super strong, super bad, so I think they fit your 'Bill'… get it? And all I want you guys to do is go a day using each other's powers! Like a bonding exercise! Heck, I even got a couple body-swap powers if you wanna use those."

"Can I have the TV power?" Baldy asked, still whirling in the portal.

"Hmm… what do you guys think?" Bill asked his associates.

Ganon, Thanos, Diamond, Madara, and Jones all shared the same response: FIST-PALM!

In a second, those five were walking out with their restored powers. "Puny aliens…" Diamond mumbled. Thanos sniffed his gauntlet and flinched in disgust.

"Well, not my worst first impression." Pyronem said. "What about the rest of you?"

The remaining Darknesses exchanged glances. "I suppose I could give it a go." Dimentio said glumly.

"Not having my curse for a day could be fun." Zeref replied, his hair falling out.

"Hahaha! This feels rather fun!" Truman happily stomped his foot and shook the ship.

"Does that mean the rest of us get the day off?" Teach asked, currently with no powers at all.

"I guess so." Bill shrugged.

"Sweet! Aizen, let's hit the cherry bar!" The pirate dragged his friend off.

"As for the rest of you, get back to work! Or at least… try to make it work." (Play "Town Mission Comical" from _Sonic 2006_!)

In the World of Titans, the people of Shiganshina cried and fled as the man-eating Titans had breached their city. Hundreds were being consumed by the minute, and there was utterly no hope for anyone. **"HELLO! MIND IF I JOIN IN?"**

The Titans looked up, jaws stretched wider than ever: a colossal Xehanort completely dwarfed the walls, making the Titans seem like ants. The Titans ran for their lives, many diving into the sea. "Heh heh heh. Aizen's power makes it too easy." Xehanort chortled, the giant illusion mimicking him. "Now then… All humans will submit to Lord English or I will trample the world!" The humans bowed in submission, knowing all hope was lost, anyway.

On Planet Etheria, a skull-faced man was hard at work designing a complex machine. "After a thousand failures, my portal is bound to work this time! I just need it open for a brief millisecond, and the Horde's armies will-"

"HEEEEEELLLLP!" Baldy's portal burst through the ceiling, destroying the machine like a chainsaw and buzzing around the room, soon to break out and return to the sky. Before Hordak could even question what happened, the sky ruptured, and a fleet began laying waste to the kingdom.

Zorc landed on Rokkenjima, a private island with a peaceful forest. The possessed child happily began stomping his foot, feeling stronger than ever in his little body as the island collapsed under a powerful earthquake. The rich family who were conversing in the nearby mansion were swiftly buried under the rubble. Having had his fun on the ruined island, Zorc left. Only one survivor, a woman named Eva, managed to free herself from the rubble. "G-George… Hideyoshi… everyone is dead! Ange will be devastated… how will I ever explain this to her?"

Dimentio was at Charles Darwin Middle School, figuring he could at least kill some animals. The problem is, he was required to "love" things to harness the Death Chi… and he held no love for this cluttered mess of a school. These smelly, filthy, idiotic animals were a complete contrast to that which he loved. "Endless space… why must I always be denied my endless space? So empty…so quiet… I…I love it so much…"

His heart grew with powerful love, and in a second, the entire school ground was whisked into ashes. "Well… better than something." Dimentio smiled.

Zeref landed on Dream Land, having already engaged Kirby and friends in a battle: "Super Fist of Blue Magic, Giant Death Hammer!" Figuring anything goes with Baldy's power, he was sure to win in an instant! …A giant piece of rotting ham fell on Zeref. "No, I said 'Death Hammer,' not Dead Ham!"

"You need to do funny things!" Baldy yelled, whirling over the sky.

"Fine! Fist of Blue Magic, minigun that shoots inflating gum into peoples' lungs!" A minigun poofed in his hands, shooting gum into Kirby's mouth. Unfortunately, since Kirby's lungs were endless, the gum expanded to infinity, becoming its own gummy universe with bubbly inhabitants. Eventually, the Gummen learned of the existence of the outer universe, so they broke the dimensional barriers, setting foot in Dream Land, and began to conquer the kingdom in order to open a leaf-blower factory. "Well… that works." (End song.)

"Ahh ha ha ha ha! A little iffy, but I think my Darknesses are having fun." Bill laughed.

"I can feel them growing closer already." Pyronem said. "Perhaps they'd like to go another day."

"I'm not going another minute in this card!" Voldemort spun around in his card.

"Whoops, forgot you were down there."

"Eh heh heh… but more importantly, I hope you'll hold up your end of the deal." Bill faced up at Pyro with a raised brow. "Didn't you promise me some super strong guys?"

"Chill out, Billy, I never forget a deal." Pyro flicked up another glass ball, which poofed into a stack of papers. "I already printed a bunch of job ads! …You wouldn't believe how hard it was to find someone with job ad powers. Just say the word and I'll send these out to my friends. They're a pretty busy bunch, so don't expect a call right away."

"So long as we get our names out there, I don't care how long it takes! Just tell them it'll be better to call before we get to them first."

 **Sector IC Treehouse**

"Why didn't you just tell her after the Arendelle incident?" Terry asked her.

"She had already been through enough that day. Also, I guess I just sort of… neglected to tell her." Miyuki scratched her head, feeling sheepish. "Maybe I just assumed she would learn it on her own. It seemed like everyone else knew about it…"

"We're lucky we got this far without her even knowing." Kayla said. "Maybe… it was for the best that she _didn't_ know. Suki's never known what it means to have a huge responsibility. Unlike us, she's lived most of her life carefree and happy."

"Yet, she insists on going with us everywhere!" Terry shouted. "She goes with us on all our missions, and the worst part is she kicks WAY more butt than we do!"

"Oh my God, Bro, are you jealous of Suki?!" Lola laughed.

"NO! !" Terry blushed. "I just don't get why Suki is SO good at fighting and comes on SO many missions with us, the second we actually need her for something, she's gonna act like a baby and cry!"

"Guys, we're thinking about this the wrong way." George said. "I mean, Suki never practiced icebending to get stronger and fight enemies. She does icebending because it's fun. And her skill kinda came naturally, I guess."

"Finally, one of you gets it!" said a voice from above. With a start, the kids looked up to find Jack Frost sitting on a branch. The winter spirit softly drifted down and set foot on the wood floor. "Her free spirit and her love makes Suki who she is. She's the example that there's still fun to be had in childhood. Not like you Kids Next Door operatives."

"And who are you to talk?!" Terry retorted. "You practically tricked Suki into helping you with Elsa!"

"Fine, you got me there. But Elsa's storm was created from darkness, that's why I needed Suki's icebending to counter it. I know that it's important for Suki to know, but she isn't like you guys. Her strength comes from having fun and being happy."

"But is that going to be enough to fight the Darknesses?" Miyuki asked.

"Well, how about we not actually _think_ about fighting the Darknesses?" Jack smiled intuitively. "Maybe just let Suki do her own thing, y'know?"

"Hmm… I think I understand what you mean."

 **Suki's Room**

Suki had created a tiny amusement park from the snow in her room. The snowpeople rode the gentle mini Ferris wheel, the calm-moving mini roller coaster, and tasted snowflake-sized ice cream. "Oh!" A snowchild seemed to trip. "I'm sorry, Snowboy!" She picked him upright. In truth, Suki hadn't been very focused in the last hour. She couldn't comprehend the fact everyone was living on a tiny planet. What if everyone on Earth was being controlled just like her snowpeople?

There was a light knock on her door. "Suki-chan, it's me. I brought someone to visit you." Miyuki entered, followed by the person who made Suki's eyes brighten with joy.

"Jack Frost! ! Oop, don't step on my snowpeople!"

"Oops, sorry!" Jack stopped himself, seeing the mini theme park by his feet. "Aww, you made yourself a little park! What's it called?"

"It's called Ice Cream Land! All the rides are made-a ice, and they only serve ice cream! 'Cause that's all snowpeople needs."

"It looks like a wonderful place, Suki!" Miyuki smiled. "I wish we were small enough to go there."

"We don't need to be any smaller, Sister-chan."

"Oh yeah… I wanted to talk about that." At hearing this, the snowpeople all fell and the rides stopped. Miyuki frowned nervously. "Ahem… Suki…" Then, with a sweet grin, she said, "I actually WAS joking!"

"HUH? ?"

"Yep! That was really just a museum we warped you to! My friends and I staged the whole thing as a prank. I'm sorry if we scared you too badly."

"Ooooohhh! Hee hee hee! Miyuki-chan, you're silly! …But, what's the big key for?" She took out the Keyblade- "Whoa!" it poofed to sword size.

"I got you that as a gift. Lots of our friends have them now. They help improve your bending abilities. With it, you can do even more amazing things with your icebending!"

"Really? Like what?"

"Well, take a look down there." Jack indicated the tiny snowy theme park. "If those snowpeople can enjoy a tiny Ice Cream Land, imagine how much fun people would have at a _life-size_ Ice Cream Land?"

"I could _make thaaaat? ?"_ Her young eyes were brimming with imagination.

"Give it a try, Suki!" Miyuki said.

 **The field outside Oil Ice Mountain**

"So… how do I use this Key-thingy?" Suki questioned.

"We have NO idea." George laughed.

"Just try your best, Suki!" MaKayla encouraged.

"Okee!" Suki channeled icebending to her Keyblade, the weapon shining with mystical blue light. The grass field froze to ice under her surge of chi, and the operatives gazed in awe as a Ferris wheel of pure, glittering ice materialized out of thin air.

Children at the playground felt the air become slightly chillier. "Hey… what's that over there?" A boy pointed in the distance, seeing the top of the Ferris wheel.

"I dunno. Wanna go see?"

Suki conjured a roller coaster designed like Santa's sleigh, a giant snowball that people could sit in as it would roll across a track, and a skyscraper-sized Christmas Tree with stairs leading up to each branch, simply meant for exploration and observing all the colorful decorations. Within minutes, kids from all around the neighborhood came to see this summer winter wonderland. They even came straight from the pool without changing out of their swim gear. "What is this place? ?" a girl exclaimed.

"This is ICE CREAM LAAAAAAND!" Suki created the front gate to spell the park's name in solid ice.

"Where's the ice cream?!" a boy asked in excitement.

"We… just opened up, so we need to order some!" MaKayla answered with equal excitement. "Anyway, COME AND ENJOY THE RIDES!"

"YAAAAAY!" The children charged into the park with utmost joy. The only ones wearing a shred of winter clothes were Sonny and Donna.

"Is Suki gonna be able to manage this whole park by herself?" Lola asked.

"Relax." Jack chuckled. "I'll give her a hand with controlling these rides. Meet ya at the roller coaster!" He soared off.

"Sigh… we're never gonna have a real summer, are we?" Terry made a light smile.

"There ain't no summer in Iceland!" Kayla giggled. "And especially not Ice Cream Land!"

"Hee hee hee! Everybody's so happyyy!" Suki twirled on her toes.

"They sure are, Suki! You created something really amazing here!" Miyuki said.

"Hee hee! …Miyuki-chan… you're really bad at joking."

"Uh… I am?" Miyuki blushed.

"All that stuff you told me is real, isn't it? You just want me to feel better… but I gotta do all that stuff, don't I?"

"Well… yes. But that doesn't mean you can't have fun doing it. Just enjoy yourself for now, Suki. Have as much fun as you like!"

"Ha ha ha! Okay, Sister-chan! I'll have lots and LOTS of fun! And one day, Ice Cream Land is gonna be EEEEVEN bigger!"


	16. It's Fun To Be Dead

**By far the shortest chapter.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 16: It's Fun To Be Dead_**

 **In a sunset desert**

"Did you know a Skeleton Soldier summoned by dark magic doesn't have its own soul?" Django said as a troupe of skeletons carried him and Kimaya on a platform. "They used to be their own person, but now it's the music that controls them." He played a catchy tune on his Mystic Guitar. "Their souls are probably floating up in Heaven. The poor fools."

"They lucky, I guess." Kimaya said. "They got no more worries. They set."

"Bored is more like it. There's only one good way to live: and that's being undead." He strummed the guitar while Kimaya played a harmonica. (Play "Marmalade Valley" from _Paper Mario: Color Splash_!)

 _It's much more fun to… BE undead_

 _Detach your neck and… SPIN your head! *spins it on his finger like basketball*_

 _Iiiiit's such an EASY thing_

 _When you're sipping wine and then you choke on a ring!_

 _Whoooo wants to be a spirit…_

 _When you can make a xylophone right out of your bones! *plays his abs like one*_

"LET'S HEAR IT!" cheered Kim.

 _It's so much fun to… BE undead_

 _Fancy skull lines… and eyes shine red! *his eyes brim*_

 _Noooo time for SLEEPING, hear?_

 _I don't want no worms creeping in my ear_

 _Stay awake, all day…_

 _Wake up some friends and waste the night away!_

 _BA DUM BUM. *a pyramid of skeletons rise and dance*_

"Boy, Django. Bein' dead sure sounds hella fun." Kimaya said. "Is they anything wrong with it?"

"Well, there _are_ a few issues. Like:"

 _There's a hole in my stomach_

 _Where food used to go! *lifts shirt*_

"Knew that."

 _There's a hole in my brain_

 _Where SCHOOL used to go! *shows spider-web in skull*_

"Screw that."

 _There's a hole in my bum where POO still goes!_

"EW THAT!"

 _And I don't have to waste my mornings_

 _Cleaning my nose!_

"True that!"

 _But one thing in me's still whole!_

 _My heart's still full of love_

 _And I'm still full of soul!_

"Aww, ain't you a charmer?" Kimaya smirked. "A'ight, Django, maybe Ah'll consider joining you. What do I gotta do?"

"Oh, there are plenty of ways. All are easy."

 _If you wanna join me, you just have to die_

 _Just find a cliff and SAY good-byyyye!_

 _I'll see you on the OTHER siii-ii-ide!_

 _I'll make you BONA-fiiide!_

 _It's very EASY to be DEAD!_

 _All you have to do is get shot in the head *draws gun*_

"You first." Kimaya swipes the gun and shoots back.

"Bo-o-o-o-o-one!" Django's head spins, but he's still strumming along. "Well, ya got me there! True, dying isn't totally easy. First, you gotta endure a funeral. A bunch of people crying and blowing noses. Makes ya lucky you won't produce that junk anymore."

"Yeh, but then I couldn't poisonbend anymore. I need mah belly for that."

"I could probably make an arrangement for that. Your body still keeps its chi after death, usually."

"Aw, ain't you sweet? Ah right, Django, I'll consider your offer. One day, I might join you in the undead."

"Okay, but it won't be right for me to encourage it. Nor do I want you to commit suicide. It'd just make ya look like an emo person! I know it's fun to be undead, but wait for death to come naturally, my friend."

"You got it. …We still makin' a CD outta this song, right?"

"Heck yeah!"

 **Newbase Cafeteria; 2 days later**

 _"It's much more fun to… BE undead. Detach your neck and… SPIN your head!"_ Kids were lightly nodding their head to the song.

"Blimey, nobody liked _Color Splash_ and he made a song outta one of its soundtracks." Sheila said.

"Has a nice ring to it." Mason shrugged.

"It's orright. But there's a few things wrong with it."

"Heh, you're a music critic?"

"I'm just sayin':"

 _If I was dead, then I couldn't taste_

 _No yummy foods or toothy paste_

 _No sun to WARM my skin! *kids look at her and nod*_

 _Ah couldn't run or flex my shin! *she kicks up*_

 _What's so great about bein' dead…_

 _If I can't feel the wind brush past my head!_

Her performance garnered applause.

 **Kimaya's House**

"If you wanna join me, you just have to die." Kimaya sung quietly during breakfast. "Just find a cliff and SAY good-byyyye! I'll see you on the OTHER siii-ii-ide!"

"Kimaya, stop singing that." Kami told her.


	17. Heir to the Gas Mask

**I meant to post this chapter AGES AGO, but never finished it. I wanna post it now because it ties in with a future story.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 17: Heir to the Gas Mask_**

 **York Household**

"Phew, what a wild ride that was…" Nolan sighed, returning to his house and hanging up his coat. "Gotta tell you, Dani, Mumbo's still got the magic. He trapped us in a mirror maze that made us think we were boy scouts. …It was scarier than it sounds."

"Oh, nothing scares you, sweetums." Danika said, planting a kiss on his cheek while Cheshire forcibly grabbed his shadow and tried to suck its face off. "Dillon wanted to get back to his game, so he already ate. I kept yours hot though! Unless you got more world-saving to do."

"Not tonight. Hopefully, the Brotherhooders get the memo about the worlds being shrunk. And that means more quality time with mah boy!" He turned to Dillon on the couch.

"Never say that again, Dad."

"Ah, they grow up so fast. Still playing _Arkham Country_?"

"Hyeah, check it out!" Dillon pointed. "Vanellope glitched herself in the game and she's beatin' up all the bad guys!" Indeed, Batman was standing in place while Vanellope zipped around and knocked out enemies.

 _"Alfred, I've taken out the thugs."_ Batman said.

 _"NO YOU DIDN'T, stop stealing my thunder, you big Batjerk!"_ Vanellope shouted.

"Good to see ol' Batman isn't getting old, huh?" Nolan chuckled.

"Yeah, but the Nightwing sections are my favorite. I like Nightwing."

"Yeah, he's cool. Batman's gotta be careful about having so many kids, though. They're gonna start to get jealous of each other!"

"I think one of them kinda did…"

"Ah, yeah. But just think, if I get too old, you may have to take over the Sandman gig."

"Come on, like I wanna wear a trenchcoat and a gas mask. I mean, after I get Midna back, my shadowbending will be so strong, I won't need any equipment!"

"You're seriously planning to rely on Midna to bail you out of training?"

"What, no! I'm training on my own time. I just don't need the Sandman gig to kick butt."

"I thought you loved the Sandman gig?"

"I liked it when I was little, but I… well, I've been kicking a lot of butt lately. Heck, I defeated a World Leader! What'd you do during that battle, Dad? I mean, you had a good talk with King Andrew, but mostly, you were just sorta… there."

"Oh… I see. Alright, well, I'll be in the Sandcave if ya need me. Just, eh… turn the secret knob in the closet."

"Ya, I know." Dillon said, uncaring. With no more to say, Nolan rolled to said Sandcave. By the time he was gone, Dillon spoke up, "Oh yeah, Dad, someone came over to… eh, he'll figure it out."

Nolan entered the Sandcave with a glum expression, activating the main computer. As he scanned Quahog via his personal borrowed-from-KND satellite, he remained unaware of the sky-blue eyes gazing at him from the ceiling. The short, jumpsuit-clad assassin landed silently on his feet, drawing his knife and STABBING Sandman in the neck.

"Hu-!" Nolan gasped. He felt a rubber thing poking his neck. "Who's there?!" He whipped around, the figure jumping back.

"I killed you." The person glared, aiming his knife. "And in a few minutes, your body will realize it. …Ha ha! Just kidding!" He took off the ninja mask, exposing his sky-blue hair.

"Oh… You're the boy from Magnostadt. Nagisa, wasn't it?"

"Both correct! So, this is your hideout, huh?" The boy walked around. "Nice place! How much did it cost to install this under an ordinary house? Heh, I hope your wife wasn't too upset."

Nolan flushed. "Uh… H-How did you get in here?"

"I installed cameras in your house when everyone was asleep, saw you go in the closet, then I hid in the hallway's ceiling and watched you input the code as I followed you in just now."

"You…You did?!"

"Hnah! I just knocked on the door, Dillon answered, and he said I could go in! Kept saying how his dad liked to sneak him the updated codes on a strip of paper. Kind of weak security, if you ask me. If this were a real knife, I could've assassinated you!"

"Oh, please, I knew you were there all along. I saw you with my Detective Vision, you weren't holding anything deadly."

"Nice try!" Nolan nearly jumped out of his seat when Goombella jumped out from behind him. "But we BOTH know the Detective Vision is in your mask! I don't see you wearing it."

"You, too?! Is your whole sector here?"

"Nah, just me and Goombella; she couldn't resist coming to meet Sandman. See, you didn't know we were here! You could be DEAD!"

"Well, what's it to you? What are you even doing here?"

"Eh, it's kinda complicated." Nagisa explained as he leisurely explored the base, tossing the knife up and down. "Our school made us do an online survey where we figure out what we wanna do for a career, and like, during it, we had to think of an adult that we really admired… and the only one I could think of was you."

"…I'm… flattered?" Nolan said with a brow raised.

"Yeah, and another part of the assignment required me to ask other kids what they wanna do. Sheila wants to be a pirate, Mason wants to be a soda manufacturer, Kodama wants to be a supervillain… and then I realized, if we could be anything we wanna be, then I would like to be an assassin!"

"Whoa whoa whoa! I don't know what you've heard, kid, but the Sandman doesn't kill!"

"I know, I know! I don't kill either. But I was thinking I could do it like you do! Like, how… Batman does it."

"Find a different career, kid. The path I follow is too dark for your understanding."

"You just go out at night to beat up criminals. How is that any different from what the KND does? You even WORK with the KND often!"

"Ugh! Then why do you want to do what I do when you're already doing it?!"

"Eh, I dunno." Nagisa picked up a grappling hook. "Maybe I just feel like I need a proper teacher. With my own dad leaving when I was little, and my mom… wanting to cut off my privates."

". . . . ." Nolan had no comment.

"I mean, I'm not asking for an apprenticeship. You already have Dillon, so it'd probably be too much trouble to train someone else, am I right?" he chuckled.

"Er… yeah…" Nolan wasn't sure that would be happening anytime soon. "But I guess I could give you a crash course if you wanted."

"Really? Sweet! Uh, am I gonna need a wheelchair?"

"What? No. Just… come with me down to the training room." Nolan rolled into a downward corridor.

"Hee hee, there are no stairs in this base!" Goombella giggled.

Nolan led them to a large gymnasium-like room, instructing Nagisa to stand near the middle. "First, we're going to test your combat ability. Even stealth masters can't avoid a confrontation once in a while." He tapped a few buttons on a terminal.

"What code are you programming?" Goombella asked, jumping on his shoulder.

"It's pretty complicated."

"You typed '231' and you're about to push 'Enter.'"

"Ugh…" Nolan pushed 'Enter.' Five Stormtroopers materialized as solid holograms.

"This will be easy!" Nagisa ran up and dealt quick punches to the first Stormtrooper before kicking him down, and when another grabbed him from behind, he kicked its shin, then back-flipped behind the trooper, kicking him into another one. Nagisa jumped over another, grabbed its head, and did an aerial flip as he tossed the trooper into another. However, the troopers easily recovered.

"You haven't hit them hard enough." Nolan said.

"Against Stormtroopers?! What level did you set them to?!"

"It says Level 4." Goombella read.

"Quit looking! Alright, Nagisa, let's switch to stealth. The job goes fast, so be ready to change tactics." Nolan inputted another code (431), and holograms of five armed Stormtroopers materialized within a series of cans, desks, and other objects. Nagisa quickly ducked behind some cans. He heard a Stormtrooper coming around the corner, so Nagisa opened a vent and slipped in. The Stormtrooper calmly walked over the vent, Nagisa's sharp eyes fixed on him. The moment he passed, Nagisa hopped out and STABBED him in the neck with his rubber knife!

"…" The Stormtrooper turned to him confusedly. "I'm wearing plastic armor, and you have a rubber knife."

"Nagisa, what were you thinking?!" Nolan questioned.

"Hey, if this were a real knife, he would be dead!"

"So would you." The Stormtrooper said. With that, they all bombarded Nagisa with lasers.

"Ow-! Ow-! Ouch! Ah!"

"He's dead." Nolan said, turning the hologram off.

"Sigh… Sorry. Heheheh." Nagisa scratched his head sheepishly. "To tell the truth, I'm not super proficient when it comes to combat."

"He's right." Goombella smirked. "You should've been there when we took on Mr. Fizz last week."

 **Last week**

"You will not stop me, Sector SA!" declared Mr. Fizz. "My army of Soda Ninjas will stop you!" Indeed, twenty ninjas with soda bottle nun-chucks surrounded the operatives.

Nagisa merely glared. He took the first step forward, and the ninjas leapt. Morgiana blasted up and kicked the first one, zipped back to kick the second, every single ninja targeted Nagisa, but Morgiana moved with rocket legs and kicked them down. Mr. Fizz panicked, for Nagisa had a scary look in his sharp eyes. He walked calmly and fearlessly, for not a single ninja could reach him before Morgiana attacked. Nagisa drew a knife, Fizz backed against the wall in fear. When the boy was a second away from reaching him, Nagisa THREW the knife into the air, and Fizz looked up with a gasp. **CLAP!** The sound startled Fizz into submission.

Nagisa twirled his knife and said, "Mission accomplished!" Morgiana smiled and nodded, having knocked out the last ninja.

 **Present time**

"Well, at least you know how to have faith in your teammates." Nolan said. "Look, Nagisa, you're gonna have to drop the knife if you wanna do what I do. Instead of trying with holograms, I'll train you myself. Give me your strongest punch." He held his hand forward.

"HUH!" Nagisa punched.

"…Well, it's not weak. But it's not tough enough to scare criminals."

"That's a shame. My only workout buddy is Morgiana and she's the strongest girl I know."

"Yeah, but all he ever does with her is dodge or block her attacks." Goombella reasoned. "She's just naturally built, so it's sort of an unfair match."

"Doesn't he even work out?"

"Sometimes, I do." Nagisa replied. "But… I dunno. Whenever I'm lifting weights or doing squats, I always get bored. Maybe I'm just not built for combat. (Or it could be my mom talking…)"

"…" Nolan glanced at his knife. "What do you even do with that knife, anyway?"

"Scare enemies and pretend to be an assassin. You know, it's funny, I don't kill people, but I love watching people get killed on TV. …I mean, it wouldn't be the same in real life."

Nolan scratched his chin. "You know, let's set up a different course for you."

Within minutes, Nolan set up another stealth course. Nagisa hid in a vent and crept over to an unsuspecting Stormtrooper. Just like last time, he jumped out and STABBED him in the neck. This time, the Stormtrooper fell dead. His scream attracted two more Stormtroopers, so Nagisa laid a M.A.R.B.L.E. down. He hid in the vent and crawled away, climbing out of another vent and watching them. When they were close, Nagisa CLAPPED and exploded the small bomb. The last two Stormtroopers approached where the explosion was heard (boy, these guys aren't bright) from two different directions. Nagisa got behind the first one and chucked his knife into his back, killing him. The last trooper went to pick out the knife, but Nagisa had already crept behind him to twist his neck.

"Uh… Excellent job." Nolan said.

"Can I try one with a sniper rifle next?!" he asked excitedly.

"Uhh… Sure? ?"

Nagisa was soon stationed on a high part of the room, holding a holographic gun. Stormtroopers were patrolling around a maze of short walls. Nagisa crept to different sides of his walkway and found the perfect angles to shoot them. He was able to snipe each Stormtrooper before they had a chance to notice each other. "Ha ha HA! Man, that was AWESOME!" He raised the gun proudly.

"I only set 'em to Level 2, don't get cocky." Nolan said. "But how are you so good at killing people if you don't like killing?"

"I guess because I watch a lot of TV and fantasize doing it all the time." Nagisa replied, climbing down to the main floor. "Besides, they were only just holograms. … _Do_ you think I could be a good assassin, Mr. York?"

"Honestly, kid… yes. There's just something about you that seems… _built_ for it. And that's why I think you should find a different teacher."

"But I wanna learn from you!" Nagisa exclaimed with hands folded.

"Y-You do?" Nolan asked, taken off guard. He hadn't seen that look in anyone's eyes since Dillon was seven years old. The eyes of someone that viewed him as a hero and an inspiration.

"Yes! Because, I…I can't think of anyone else. And the report is due by the end of summer! I don't wanna spend my whole summer doing this assignment!"

"Oh." Nolan said with disbelief. "Look, Nagisa, I'm sorry, but a non-killer training an assassin not to kill… it just doesn't look right."

"But doesn't 'Sandman' use gas-type weaponry to knock out his opponents? How does THAT work without killing?"

"Because it's non-lethal gas that's supposed to stun the senses, of course." Nolan raised a glove. "Some of it emits from holes in my glove whenever I 'choke' armed guards. Of course, most of the time, I have to beat people up, and I can't always get in a good position to make them breathe it."

"Okay…" Nagisa held up his rubber knife. "…But what if you could make some sort of… _solid_ version of that gas? A kind that could stun someone's senses simply by the touch, without having to ingest it?"

"How would you make something like that?"

"Don't look at me, YOU'RE the scientist! I was just tossing ideas around."

"Hmmm…" Nolan stroked his chin.

"Oooo, he's thinking of something!" Goombella beamed. "He's so cute when he makes that look!"

"Actually, Nagisa… could you come back tomorrow and bring a few things for me?"

These things in question were, in fact, Island Cloud chunks from Skypia, broke into little fluffy pieces. Nolan took a vial of liquid Nightmare Toxin and dipped a drop onto a cloud piece. The white fluff slowly turned pink, then Nolan picked a piece off with his gloved hand. He molded it into a tiny sphere, the size of a bullet. He took his glove off and decided to pinch it with his bare fingers. He gained nightmarish visions of The Shimmer and dropped the ball. He needed a moment to recompose himself, to which he shook his head 'no.'

He repeated the process, but this time added a dab of his own knock-out gas. He touched the ball barehanded again, but the effect remained the same. Afterwards, Nolan researched things that could counter fearbending, and Light Chi came up.

Nagisa would then get in contact with Cheren, who contacted Nebula, who contacted the Avalar KND, who would send over a shipment of Sun Flowers. They all questioned Nagisa's intentions, to which he replied it was merely a side project.

Nagisa and Nolan grinded the flowers into liquid light and imbued them into the cloud chunks, mixed with Nightmare Toxin and knock-out gas. However, the Light Chi seemed to negate the fear gas completely, and the compound had no effect unless someone would hold it to their nose and sniff the gas – it had less scent than it would in its pure form.

"We need something that could put a shock through the body just by the touch of it." Nagisa said.

"I HAVE AN IDEA! !" Goombella jumped, scaring them both.

Nagisa again used Cheren to contact the Skypian KND and have the Birkan branch send over chunks of Thunder Cloud. Nolan donned rubber gloves to work with the electric substance, mixing it with Fear Toxin, some Sun Flower to negate the nightmares, and knock-out gas. Nolan touched it and felt a shock in his fingers. His hand was stunned senseless, but it was still not enough. They spent the next couple weeks trying different compounds and amounts. If the substance was harmful to the touch, they wouldn't be able to handle it. They spent a few more nights working on it.

Their latest test resulted in a tiny pink bullet. Nolan pinched the soft substance, but felt no shock. He gave it to Nagisa, who took a few steps back and chucked the bullet into Sandman's hand, sending an invisible shock that numbed his arm. The three smiled, having finally made a breakthrough. Afterwards, Nolan designed guns that required no powder, just a simple spring to blast the harmless bullets out. He gave it to Nagisa, materializing 10 holographic Stormtroopers. Nagisa dodged their lasers with ease and shot back, taking the plastic-armored soldiers out while leaving nary a wound.

Nolan later shaved out a paper-thin layer of the substance and wrapped it over Nagisa's knife. Nagisa smirked and sliced Nolan in the stomach, sending an aching sensation that was equal to a real cut, yet non-fatal.

"I call it… Antikill!" Nagisa proclaimed.

"It's perfect." Nolan smiled.

"And IIIIII helped!" Goombella said proudly.

"Dad, Mom says it's time for dinner!" Dillon called, coming downstairs. "Huh? You're here again, Nagisa?"

"Oh, yah." Nolan said. "We've just been working on something."

"Your dad makes a great teacher, Dillon!" Nagisa said. "He's so cool!"

"HA HA ha! Wow, Nagisa, you sound even lamer than I used to be! Don't tell me you're gonna be dressing up like that and playing 'Discount Batman' too."

"Not exactly, but… what's so lame about it?"

"I dunno. It's just, after everything we've been through lately, my dad's shtick just feels kinda… 'meh.' You know? I mean, no offense, Dad, we appreciate you for keeping the city safe, but… well, we kinda have a universe to save now, and I doubt you'd be up to that. …Anyway, should I tell Mom that Nagisa's joining us? I'm sure we got somethin' for you to eat." With that, Dillon returned upstairs.

"GET BACK HERE, you jerk!" Goombella tried to chase him, but Nolan grabbed her ponytail. "Do you know who this guy is, he defeated Darth Genious, saved the world, and built my hometown! !"

"Take it easy, Little Mushroom." Nolan told her.

"But aren't you upset?" Nagisa asked. "I mean, I always imagined your son looked up to you."

"Well, he used to. But honestly, Nagisa, this is part of growing up. Kids stop paying attention to their idols and start wanting to be their own person." Nolan held and stared at his gas mask. "Honestly, I'm glad. Dillon won't have to waste his time wondering if his old man is proud. Not that I would ever be disappointed. …" He faced Nagisa again. "Nagisa… I have to admit: during this time, I was actually considering giving you my belt. Making you the next Sandman. …But I can't."

"Why, because you don't have a belt in girl's size?" Nagisa glared.

"What?! No!"

"Ha ha, just kidding! I know where you're going with this. You're having second thoughts about passing on the title because you think I should follow my own path, too, right?"

"Well, that too. But what I actually meant was, even though Dillon is tired of me… he's still my son. And I couldn't just trade him for someone else. It was an honor to work with you, Nagisa-"

"Ahem!"

"-and you, too, Goombella, but Dillon is the one I need to train. And not just for combat."

"I understand." Nagisa frowned. "But… could we at least keep in touch?"

"Of course!" Nolan extended a hand. "After all, you're an honorary member of the Sand Clan now!"

"The Sand Clan?" Nagisa snickered. "Did you just come up with that?"

"I was gonna say 'Sand Family,' but then I thought I'd make it rhyme."

"Heh heh heh. It's an honor, Sandman!" Nagisa grabbed his hand.

"Eeek!" Nolan was zapped and his hand went numb.

"Ha ha ha!" Nagisa showed him his hand, which had little pieces of Antikill taped to it. "I'm silent, but deadly!"

"You'll make a perfect assassin, kid!" Nolan laughed.

 **Unknown hideout**

"IT CAN'T BE!" Caesar Clown exclaimed. "I-Is that really you… Darth Genious?!"

"You BET IT IS!" cheered Revan Bane Sidious, still in Inferius form. His loyal Brotherhood villains roared behind him. "And WE are going to start anew! Evolving from maniacal, evil supervillains to even MORE maniacally evil supervillains! And we want YOU!"

"COUNT ME IN!" Caesar beamed.

"Excellent! Then, I want you ALL to listen up!" Revan hovered to the ceiling. "It's clear that the Kids Next Door are up against some BIG TIME bad guys. And those bad guys have the means to take over the universe. Unfortunately… I fear these villains will be beyond our power. They probably think we Brotherhooders are a bunch of JOKES! That's why the Kids Next Door is training to fight them. And so, I want each and every one of you… to train your hearts out and HELP them!"

". . . . ." The villains were baffled. "Help the Kids Next DOOR?!" questioned Knightbrace.

"I'm afraid it's our only choice. As they are now, the Kids Next Door essentially rule this world. And if WE want to rule the universe ourselves, we first have to do something about those OTHER guys. We'll let the KND handle MOST of the work, and by the end of this, they'll be too tired to fight. That's when we MAKE OUR COMEBACK!"

 _"YAAAAAAAH!"_

"But first, we have OTHER matters to attend to. I'm sorry to say that I may not be able to last in this form. My free will is limited, and I know the spirits will try to capture me. That is why… Caesar… I have brought you THIS!" Revan teleported a coffin onto the floor. "My corpse."


	18. Let's Get Original

**Game's Note: This chapter was written by IDA Official, also known as Mal Masque.**

 **IDA's Note: This story was written as a side-story/reference to Gamewizard2008's _Legend of the Seven Lights_ series, as well as a birthday present. Happy birthday, Wizard-Man, you apocalyptic delight, you. Be supportive and give his work a viewing, especially if you enjoy my work and absurd crossovers.  
**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 18: Let's Get Original_**

 **Neutral Territory Pocket Dimension  
Location: Order of Purity Flagship _Upon Angel's Wings_**

"I don't like this, sir." Watcher said, trailing after Zedekiah Strong as the two walked down the glistening white hallways of the massive spaceship. "You're the one who invoked the Treaty of Three, we should be having this meeting on the Universal Star, not on this… gaudy eye-sore of a splitter ship!" Zedekiah sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Ever since Zedekiah called for an emergency meeting with the leaders of the two other Universal Powers, the Army of Abominations and the Order of Purity, the altered terms of the time and meeting place had been irritating Watcher, as well as several other Councilors of the IDA, to no end. It didn't cease even when Zedekiah and Watcher arrived on the enormous humanoid-like flagship of the Order, _Upon Angel's Wings_ , the blind ward to the Founder of the IDA prattling on and on about how the IDA shouldn't bend to the demands of people who defected thousands of years ago, yet Zedekiah was still compliant.

"Watcher, the only way I could get Reginald to agree to this meeting would be if we could hold it on his ship." Zedekiah calmly explained, ignoring the looks the two men got from the silver-armored guards as they made their way. "The Treaty of Three means all three parties must be involved: Myself, Reginald, and Mask. So, we're having the meeting here, end of story." The two arrived at a large open doorway, guarded by a pair of golden armored warriors with faux white angel wings.

The two guards stepped aside and allowed Zedekiah and Watcher to enter the spacious meeting room. The walls were lined with great blue statues of angels lining the walls, portraits of battles between men and monster adorned the walls, and the elegant glass table sat in the center of the room, surrounded by crystal chairs, two of which were presently occupied. Zedekiah and Watcher took their seats, overhearing half of a conversation. The one primarily doing the talking was a certain man in a mask, wearing his grey cotton jacket and a derby hat of all things.

"And so, I'm talking to the man." said the masked man. "He looks absolutely terrified as hell, and I say to him in this cool demonic voice thanks to a synthesizer I got surgically implanted into my vocal chords 'Are we clear on the deal?' and he just nods vigorously." The masked man laughed heartily. "I thought he was going to piss himself!" He sighed and slumped down into his seat. "So, yeah, that's how I got my daughter enrolled at a prestigious rich academy in Japan." 

_High Lord and Master of the Army of Abominations_

 _MALVONIUS "MASK" DE MASQUE_

Sitting in an opposite seat, looking like he wanted to throw himself down a flight of stairs, was an incredibly handsome man with long flowing blonde hair, dressed in incredible shining gold and silver armor with winged shoulders, and bearing the emblem of the Order of Purity on the centerpiece. His hands idly clutched a magnificent large sword with a hilt designed like angel wings as it laid at his side. The knight turned and saw Zedekiah and Watcher take their seats, his bored expression shifting to only the faintest hints of a smile.

"You've finally made it, Sir Strong." the knight said in a warm, yet tired voice. "Welcome to _Upon Angel's Wings_." 

_Knight-King of the Order of Purity_

 _SIR REGINALD THE HONORED_

"Thank you, Reginald." Zedekiah said, a faint smirk appearing on his bearded face. "It appears I have saved you from the torture that is Mask's story-telling again." The Knight-King chuckled slightly, while Mask simply pouted.

"Is it wrong for a father to be extremely proud of his daughter being put on the path to success in life?" Mask asked. "I think not! Still, nice to see you showed up to your own meeting, Zed." He jabbed a thumb at Sir Reginald. "I was starting to get bored talking with the glorified boy-scout." Sir Reginald furrowed his brow, drumming his armored hand upon the table.

"Need I remind you whose ship we're having this meeting in?" Reginald rhetorically asked.

"And we are glad to have it on this splendid ship." Zedekiah said in a hushed tone.

"Splendid? This thing is a gaudy eye-sore!" Mask proclaimed, waving his arms about. "It looks like a giant person with wings, only you Purity twits forgot the legs and head. It's a wonder you idiots haven't been blown out of the sky since you could see this thing from a galaxy away."

"This coming from a man whose flagship is a gargantuan synthetic carcass." Reginald snapped back. Mask angrily slammed his hand on the table.

"Hey, the Skull of Destruction is a work of art and it puts the fear of me into my enemies." Mask retorted, glaring daggers at Reginald. "The fact it's made from the husk of a long-dead ancient robotic alien just makes it even cooler, so shut your pretty face." Zedekiah groaned and knocked on the table.

"Can we actually focus on our meeting here?" Zedekiah said in a level tone.

"I don't feel I should remind you that the lives of countless thousand worlds are at stake." Mask chuckled and leaned into his seat once more while Reginald sat upright in his seat and released his grip on the hilt of his blade. "Thank you. Watcher, if you will." Watcher nodded and placed both his hands on the table. A great green runic circle encompassed the table, forming into a swirling window into the Void.

"As you no doubt know," Watcher explained, focusing on the magical rune, "the Universal Nexus, or as the crasser would refer," Mask snickered a bit, "the Multiverse, faces a disaster the likes of which almost as catastrophic as the Void Invasion or the Eldritch Wars." The magical window changed to view a great collection of stars and galaxies. "The Gameverse, one of the larger Dimensional Fusions, recently had an apocalyptic event." The image of the universe began to distort and warp in a myriad of colors, before some ungodly monstrosity with eight-balls for eyes burst forth.

"Ah, yes, the abomination known as Lord English." Sir Reginald mused, gazing at the creature with disgust. "That monster is a living embodiment of chaos. I'm surprised he doesn't work for you, High Lord."

"Shut your trap, pretty boy." Mask snapped, but immediately reclined back in his seat when Zedekiah glared at him. "Go on, Watcher."

Watcher gave a firm nod and continued. "Lord English, aided by a force of Alternates and even a few Originals, known as the Thirteen Darknesses, have been spreading pandemonium and anarchy across a multitude of universes." The image split into smaller windows, each displaying a different catastrophe being committed by The Thirteen: Worlds being swallowed by oceans, the dead being resurrected as slaves, timelines being altered to create improbabilities, complete subjugation, total annihilation, occasional oddities that make no sense, it was a disaster that continues to grow and grow.

"Such horrors these monsters commit." Sir Reginald breathlessly said.

"Normally, I enjoy watching this kind of crap unfold," Mask said in an unusually serious tone, "but when it happens to worlds under MY rule and protection, that's when I get pissed." Watcher dispelled the runic symbols and the images vanished.

"Not only have the universes under our protection fallen prey to these menaces," Zedekiah said, "but they plan on merging all worlds, including the Original Worlds." Sir Reginald banged his fist on the table, his face displaying rage.

"Those CURS!" Sir Reginald shouted. "Are they not aware of the consequences of such callous actions?! They could bring the Elder Gods back from the far reaches with that much destructive energy." The Knight-King withdrew his fist from the sizeable crack on the table.

"Or worse, end up feeding a Manifestation like Mister Mayhem." Mask added, also looking very bemused. "Hell, even the Justicar and the Angelic Legion would go ballistic and purge everything, INCLUDING the Original Worlds."

"And now you see why I've called upon the Treaty of Three." Zedekiah said, rising from his seat. The dark-garbed man paced about the table, elucidating the matters at hand. "The IDA has been attempting to fight The Thirteen and their forces on all fronts… but to little success." Both Mask and Sir Reginald exchanged slightly worried and concerned looks before returning their gazes to Zedekiah. "While some of their members consist of Alternates, of those such as Yellow Diamond and Team Rocket leader Giovanni, the rest are all Originals. And you know what is said about the comparison between Alternates, Parallels and Originals."

"Nothing beats the Originals." Mask said. "And that's why you're having problems, nearly all of your forces are Alternates and Parallels." Zedekiah simply nodded.

"Most of our forces are as well, Sir Strong," Sir Reginald added, "as does the Army. I know you desire to have the Universal Coalition, but even with our combined strengths, we can only assume we can hold the line, not push forward." This little statement actually brought a smile to Zedekiah's face, a faint and tiny one at that.

"Then it is my pleasure to announce that I have a plan that will not only even the playing field," he stopped pacing, standing between the two Universal Power leaders, "we fight fire… with fire." Sir Reginald was taken aback by Zedekiah's bold proclamation, while Mask was giggling maniacally.

"Sir Strong," Sir Reginald said, eyes wide as dinner plates. "You surely aren't suggesting…" Zedekiah slowly nodded. Mask barked a loud laugh, nearly falling out of his seat in the process.

"Zedekiah Strong, mister rule book," Mask said between giggles, "wants to actually get ORIGINALS to fight with us! I never thought I'd see the day you'd decide to break a rule you made eons ago. And a big one at that!" Zedekiah frowned, taking a seat between the two other men.

"Normally, I would be against such actions," Zedekiah explained. "However, given the enemy has already shown its hand, it's only fair we reveal shuffle the deck a bit." Zedekiah produced several case files from his suit and tossed them on the table. "My Agents are already on the search, trying to rescue these people from the now breached Original Worlds. Given The Thirteen are augmented due to them possessing fragments of Lord English's power and, get this, KEYBLADES, they're greatly outclassed without proper aid. Fortunately, I've already started scouting a few potential candidates…"

 **Universe: 0N3P-1EC3-SHJ  
The Grand Line**

The ocean rocked violently for the pirate ship _Thousand Sunny_ as cannonballs rained down from all sides. It was chaos, these ghostly ships were not natural, even by the standards of the erratic and unforgiving Grand Line. Monstrous aquatic humans (not to be confused with Fishmen, these guys were MUCH uglier) had already snatched up most of the captain's crew, and now all he could do was defend his vessel. Six fish-like pirates had surrounded the captain with cutlasses and pistols, primed and ready to take the young and adventurous man out.

"Give it up, Straw Hat!" croaked an eel-headed pirate. "We got you surrounded and took all yer friends. No escaping now!" They were right, they did have him completely surrounded on all sides. It was a bad situation… for them. The kid placed a hand atop his trademark straw hat and smirked deviously.

"You guys are seriously gonna regret messing with me." The kid said, winding up his fist to attack. "GUM-GUM…" The kid swung his arm about, stretching it as though it were made of rubber. "HAMMER!" The fist struck the heads of the pirates surrounding him, knocking them overboard and into the depths. He laughed triumphantly, even over the roar of cannon fire from the enemy ships. There was a crash, the sound of wood splintering into pieces… but the _Thousand Sunny_ was still afloat.

Cannons rang out again, and one of the unusual ships exploded, sinking into the briny blue. Straw Hat leaned over the side of his ship and saw a fleet of large frigates bearing a great teal star on the sails, demolishing the enemy ships. Straw Hat was cheering for the arrival of the sudden help, but his cheering faded away when he saw a ship leading the charge, a shoddy looking thing that seemed to be made up of different ship pieces like a crude puzzle, started sailing towards the _Thousand Sunny_. Soon, the ship arrived and pulled anchor. The captain of the ship, a handsome blonde man wearing a blue captain's jacket waved over.

"Ahoy there!" The captain called out. "Glad we found you! Those Davy Jones Pirates are a nightmare! I'm Guybrush Threepwood, captain of the _Screaming Narwhal_ and the Monkey Island Pirates!" Captain Threepwood stood on the railing of his ship. "We're here to get your help to stop these evil guys from destroying reality as we know it! You up for beating some bad guys?" Straw Hat simply smiled and guffawed.

"You had me at 'beating up bad guys'!"

 **** _Captain of the Straw Hat Pirates_

 _"Straw Hat" MONKEY D. LUFFY_

 **Universe: N1NJ-4W4R-SHJ  
Forest Outside Hidden Leaf Village**

Strange shadow-like beings swerved between the trees, brandishing devilish weapons and lurking about like apex predators of the forest. Their beady yellow eyes darted about, as though they were hunting something, or rather, someone. As they searched, one fell from the treetops, a kunai was seen in its head before the creature disappeared in a puff of black smoke. Another pair fell to shuriken blades that found themselves between the creatures' eyes. Quietly, more and more of these shadow creatures fell from attacks unseen and opponent unknown, until there was one left, a creature garbed in a silver body-armor and sporting beady red eyes. It drew out a katana, expecting an attack from anywhere. It twitched its head at every twig snapping, every leaf rustle, every time the wind blew.

"Hey, creep!" called out a gruff, young sounding voice from the woods.

"This is for kidnapping my friends!" The creature looked up… and saw an entire small army of yellow-haired doppelganger ninjas pounce upon it from all angles. They looked exactly the same: yellow hair, orange and black jumpsuits, the blue headband with the insignia of a local village, and that furious look in his eyes. The creature stood no chance before it was beaten to death. The doppelgangers vanished in puffs of smoke, leaving the original ninja behind to stare at his handiwork. "Bastards, I'll kill 'em all. Madara, too!"

"You fight well, young one." said a smooth, mysterious voice. The ninja whirled around and saw an unusual man, slender and garbed in a sleek bodysuit and a bizarre black helmet. He stood on the tip of a tree branch as though it were a platform.

"You with those creeps that attacked my village?" the young ninja asked, noticing the futuristic sword clipped to the new arrival's belt. The mysterious man hopped down from his perch and bowed.

"I am a friend. These creatures are not." the mysterious man said. "Do call me Zer0." The young man blinked in surprise at the man's speech pattern.

"Did… you just speak in haiku?" he asked. Zer0 nodded, pacing about the area.

"I was looking for a young man with great potential." Zer0 said. "To help stop an encroaching darkness… I believe I have found him." He turned to the young man. "Naruto Uzumaki, come with me, and you will be able to rescue your friends."

The young man widened his eyes in surprise. "Are you serious? We can save Sakura and the others?" The young man asked. A red :) appeared on Zer0's helm, as though he were smiling.

"Believe it."

 **** _Ninja of the Hidden Leaf Village_

 _NARUTO UZUMAKI_

 **Universe: 13L3-4CH-SHJ  
Tokyo, Japan**

The city was being demolished by horrific beings, great beast-like monsters with bodies black as coal and wearing white and red skull-like masks were attacking everything and everyone on sight. Werewolves hunted in packs, slaughtering innocents by the score. Large gorilla monsters brought down doors and windows to snatch away people cowering in their homes. A great-snake beast plowed through buildings as though they were nothing but sandcastles, while giant elephant monsters trampled on the remains and giant birds picked out whatever humans survived. Amidst it all was a young man with fiery orange hair, slashing at a pack of werewolf beasts with reckless abandon with a giant black sword, having held them back by the score. He took down a beast and quickly evaded, leaping up on top of a building to oversee the carnage.

"Crap, these aren't normal Hollows." he muttered, wiping the blood that ran down his head. "Hell, I don't think these even ARE Hollows if normal people can see them." He sighed, watching in total despair as everything fell apart.

"That's because they AREN'T, Reaper." said the tired voice of an old man. The Reaper turned around and saw that, sitting behind him in a wheelchair, was an elderly man in Victorian garb, sporting a peg-leg and a very tired look on his face. "They're Grimm, a unique brand of Beast that hunts by sensing negativity. They are the ultimate predators… but they still can be killed." The young man stood up and cautiously looked at the old man.

"You should probably get out of here." he said, readying his blade. "These things are dangerous and I can't be responsible for-"

"You think because I sit in this chair, I am helpless?" the old man snapped. "Truly, the youth these days are so callous to their elders…" The young man was about to turn and leave this old man to his rambling. "Unless this is just your personality… Ichigo." The young man stopped in his tracks, turning around to look at the old man.

"What? How do you-" Ichigo started to ask.

"-know your name? I know more than that, Reaper. But what matters to me and my associates right now is your potential." He rolled his chair forward, overseeing the carnage below. "I'm sure you're aware that an old enemy of yours has received… a boon of sorts?"

"Yeah. Aizen just showed up with this sword-key thing and kicked my ass with it." Ichigo explained, furrowing his brow. "It was like it gave him a massive power boost." The old man nodded solemnly.

"Yes, and he's not the only one. Thirteen of those keys were gifted by an all-powerful and destructive being that seeks to cause untold terrors and catastrophe. This…" he waved his hand over the destruction, "is only the beginning."

"Lemme guess…" Ichigo began, glancing down at the old man. "You need my help, don't you? I know the clichés." The old man chuckled and nodded. "Well, I'd love to, but I'm needed here."

"Don't worry, son. My group is on it. While we don't have the fancy technology those whippersnappers amongst the Remnant Huntsmen, you cannot doubt the power, tricks, and dedication that comes from the Hunter's Workshop. Take a look, young man." Ichigo obliged, taking a glance at the streets… and saw many of the Grimm had either fled or had been cut down where they stood by dark-garbed people wielding wicked weapons. Where once there were hundreds, there were merely dozens of the beastly monsters remaining. Ichigo blinked in surprise, turning to the old man, who bore a small grin on his face.

"'Guess my schedule just freed up." Ichigo said, hefting his sword. "Count me in, old man."

"Please," the old man said, drumming his fingers on the arm of his wheelchair. "Call me Gehrman of the Workshop."

 _Shinigami and Hollow Hunter_

 _ICHIGO KUROSAKI_

 **Universe: [SERIAL NUMBER CORRUPTED]  
Somewhere Insane, Someplace Stupid**

"I'm not going back out there." Rick said, the lazily-dressed man laid on his back staring at the ceiling.

"This is… too demented for me." his partner, Slick, dressed in fine attire (consisting of white slacks and a black turtle neck sweater) sputtered in annoyance, running a comb through his pompadour.

"Dude, stop being a little baby and go out there." Slick bluntly said. "A little weirdness shouldn't bother you so much." Rick just sat up and glared at his partner in crime.

"Weirdness? This place is the Realm Without Laws!" Rick shouted. "Not even PHYSICS make sense here! I saw an anthropomorphic taco juggling exploding oranges whilst preaching about the brand-new religion of real estate! There were a pair of tap-dancing Shawarma makers using wooden pencils to rotate it over an open microwave that wasn't even plugged in." He sat up, his irritation clearly showing on his face. "SOME JACKASS NEARLY RAN OFF WITH MY HAIR FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" He flopped onto his back like a whiny little baby, too scared of an unusual and partially demented world. "And then there's THAT JACKASS!"

"Who are you talking about?" Slick asked, the usually crasser and more erratic of the two.

"HIM! The freakin' narrator!" Rick exclaimed, clearly losing his mind talking about the handsome, gallant and omniscient narrator. "You seriously can't hear him?! The smug dick-bag has been making fun of me and blowing up his own ego since we landed in this freakin' universe!" Oh, come on now, I'm not blowing up my own ego! Uh, I mean – Rick was clearly losing his mind. Slick sighed and folded his arms.

"Looks like this place is taking a toll on you, Rick." Slick said, clicking his tongue. "Good thing we already succeeded in our mission in finding the Bo-Tector's Original and all his buddies." Rick moaned into his hands like someone who really needs to bend over and get that really large stick out of his–

"STOP!" Rick objected, cutting the narrator off. "Just… stop. Alright, now…" He slowly stood up, holding his hands up as a sign of surrender. "Enough… with the insults, please. I'm tired, this has been a very long week for me, putting up with this insane world and its insane people, just to find an insane Original and his equally insane buddies. Can we please just stop before I go insane?" Says the man talking to the disembodied voice known only as the narrator that only HE can apparently hear. Alright, fine, truce. "Thank you." Rick bowed in thanks while Slick was wondering what the hell his buddy was going through.

"Right…" Slick drawled out. "SO! Let's head back to the ship and get back to the Universal Star." Rick nodded, walking out with his friend into the open world, where just a few feet away was a ball-shaped spaceship. Standing outside of it was a certain hero of all, a muscular man with a sunny afro like the rising sun, wearing cool and stylish black jeans and a blue shirt, and topping it all off with slick shades that only he could make awesome. "You ready to go, big guy?"

The man chuckled, his sunglasses glinting with determination and vigor. "Buddy, I was ready before I was born last Tuesday."

 _Master of the Fist of the Nose-Hair and Logic Breaker_

 _BOBOBO-BO BO-BOBO_

 **Universe Cluster: "The Kingdoms"  
Somewhere in the depths of space…**

A lone space ship, lean and smooth like a chrome arrow with large rear engines, drifted aimlessly about the cosmos in search of their target. The hard part about finding an Original who also happens to be a World Jumper is the constant moving. Moving between cities, moving between countries, moving between planets, hell, moving between entire universes because it is a World Jumper's destiny. It's like trying to find a needle among fifty different haystacks, with each haystack being the size of a building.

Luckily, the crew of the OGC-1 was known for their dedication to their missions! Through thick and thin, Captain Jay and Co-Captain Hamilton are sworn to completing their mission with complete haste and efficiency! They are firm! They are strong-hearted! They will find the Original known as the 'Key-Bearer' without any distractions that get in the – and they're both sleeping at the wheel.

The two idiots sitting in the cockpit, the idiot human with the square-ish head, blue space uniform and naughty magazine draped across his face like a hot towel was snoring loud enough to be heard from the next planet over. He is also the captain of the OGC-1, believe it or not. His Co-Pilot isn't any better either, the Koalon alien (that being an anthropomorphic Koala for you uninformed) was dozing off with a half-chewed eucalyptus leaf in his mouth. Yep, pride of the IDA Small Fighters Brigade here, people. Probably would have been better the two had been awake when they bumped into the garish, multicolored ship drifting past them. The bump locked the two ships in place, waking Hamilton from his dazed state.

"Wha-huh?!" Hamilton groggily said in his nasally voice, dropping his leaf and blearily waking up. He took notice of the other ship and began to nudge the captain awake. "Ah crap, Jay, I think we hit someone. Jay!"

"Yeah, I know I'd hit that, Miss Multiverse…" Jay said in a delirious and sleeping tone. Hamilton decided to go a little bit rougher and slugged Jay on the shoulder, knocking the magazine off Jay's face and waking him up. "Ow, dude, what the hell?! I was having the Miss Multiverse dream…"

"Daydream about getting with the sexiest woman in the Multiverse later, Jay." Hamilton said. "We just hit someone."

"Aw man, what?" Jay groaned, reclining in his chair. "They better not have scratched the ship. Alright, let's hail 'em." Hamilton nodded and worked his fingers on the command computer, sending out a signal to the other ship to open communications. After a bit, the signal bounced back, and a voice call came on.

"Hello? Am I coming through clearly?" A young man's voice came back over the call.

"Yeah, we hear you clearly." Jay said. He leaned over to Hamilton and whispered to him. "I bet fifty this kid's a student driver." Hamilton rolled his eyes, but shot a thumbs-up to agree with the bet.

"Listen, I'm so sorry about hitting you guys." The kid apologized. "My head's been all over the place lately, what with the chaos involving those weird monsters showing up, the Heartless acting up, I thought you guys were going to move out of the way…"

"Yeah, you better be sorry, kid!" Jay smugly snapped. "Do you have any idea what could have happened if we collided head on?" Jay made explosion noises with his mouth. "We'd light up space like fireworks on Mercenary Day. Did you really want that to happen just because you were being irresponsible?" Hamilton shot Jay an irritated look, given that they were BOTH asleep and driving.

"N-No sir." The kid nervously responded.

"Glad we got that settled." Jay said, propping his feet on the console. "Now, we won't take this matter to court, just pay us fifty-thousand big ones and then we'll call this square, okay, kid?"

"FIFTY THOUSAND?!" the kid shouted over the call.

"Jay, that's uncalled for!" Hamilton admonished. "He's just a kid, and besides, we're BOTH at fault because we dozed off at the wheel."

"Well excuse me for being tired so much lately!" Jay snapped back. "Not my fault we haven't gotten any chance to rest ever since we got this 'Search and Recruit' mission." He threw his hands in the air and began complaining. "Flying around this Cluster, checking DOZENS of worlds and towns for the past MONTH, all just to find ONE FREAKIN' KID WITH A KEY!" Jay flopped back into his seat, pinching the bridge of his nose while Hamilton sat in stunned silence.

"… Did you say you're looking for a kid with a key?" The kid asked.

Hamilton sighed. "Yeah, we work for a group that specializes in helping in big catastrophes and we're on a mission to find a kid in this Universe Cluster who has a weapon that looks like a key. We need his help to stop a bunch of evil guys from destroying the Multiverse."

"Hamilton, don't blab the mission to some random kid I'm trying to con…" Hamilton said, patting his co-captain on the shoulder.

"Well, maybe I can help." the kid said. "I spend almost all my time helping people, maybe I can help you track down this person." Hamilton and Jay raised cautious eyebrows. "I'll do it to make up for accidentally hitting your ship. Sound fair?" The two space pilots exchanged glances. Sure, the offer came out of nowhere from some random kid they bumped into in space, but it was never a bad idea to look a space gift horse in the mouth. With a confirming nod, Jay returned the message.

"Sure kid, the OGC-1 accepts your help." Jay said, smirking. "Now how's about a name?" The kid responded by requesting to open video channels. Hamilton shrugged and opened the channels and the mysterious kid revealed himself. He was a teen with spiky brown hair, baby-blue eyes, a black jacket with blue undershirt, and hefting an unusual key-like sword on his shoulder.

"It's Sora." he said. "The kid you're looking for."

 **** _Wielder of the Keyblade_

 _SORA_

 ** _Upon Angel's Wings_ ; Guest Room**

"We've finished acquiring all our major candidates for the mission." Zedekiah explained to their special guest. "However, with little knowledge of this world, I fear they will be at a disadvantage. That's why I would like you to lead them."

"So, that's what you need me for, eh?" replied a man in his thirties, with a black robe, a beard, and an arrow on his bald head. "But although I've been wandering that dimension for the past 20 years, even I still have a hard time understanding it."

"It's not just about navigating that universe, but you're the only one we have that has a firm understanding of your laws. Not to mention your Keyblade will make you a valuable asset to them."

"Oh, I'll help them, don't worry. I just haven't had a team in so long, I fear I may be rusty."

 _Master of the Dark Elements_

 _NEGATAR GNAA_

"So, this plan of yours is already in effect, Zed?" Mask asked while he and Sir Reginald examined the stacks upon stacks of case files. The darkly-garbed man smiled and nodded.

"Most of them have already been found and are inbound on a frigate to the universe codenamed 'New World.'" Zedekiah explained. "However, I would like to ask your assistance in gathering the rest, maybe even more." He resumed his pace about the meeting table. "We already have tremendous numbers and forces at our backs. My Agents, your Army, your Knights of the Order, these specially selected Originals will be the catalyst that will tip the scales in this battle against impossible odds!" He placed his hands on the table, a great smile encompassing his face. "What say you, High Lord and Knight-King? Will you help me take up arms against the Thirteen Darknesses and the monster that seeks to undo eons of universal stability?"

"You don't even need to WAIT to hear my answer, Sir Strong." Sir Reginald said, rising to his feet and sporting a compassionate face. "It would go against my very moral philosophy to let innocents suffer from such grievous misdeeds." He reached to his side and unsheathed his majestic angelic blade, pointing it towards the heavens themselves. "I, Knight-King Reginald of the Order of Purity, will lend my blade and our Order to answer the Treaty of Three!" Mask laughed heartily, standing from his seat and placing a hand on the hilt of his rapier.

"Man, could you GET any more theatrical and hammy, Reggie?" Mask sneered. "This isn't High-School theater doing 'Henry VII', this is war of the worlds!" He drew out his rapier, the silver-lined blade gleaming in the light. "And nobody is going to destroy worlds that I could end up ruling over! Not if me and my Army have anything to say about it." He placed his blade alongside Sir Reginald's sword. "Consider High Lord Mask and the Army of Abominations new bit players in this game, Zed, not just because the Treaty of Three told me to."

Zedekiah's chest swelled with pride. Three men and the Powers they represented, each with differing ideals and beliefs, who would rather go sword-to-sword instead of seeing eye-to-eye, had been brought together against a common goal. He turned to Watcher, his blind ward producing a simple sword in a simple scabbard for Zedekiah. Zedekiah drew the sword and placed it amongst the others in a display of true comradery.

"And so, I bring this trifecta of Universal Powers together," Zedekiah proclaimed. "By vowing that I, Zedekiah Strong, Founder and Head of the Inter-Dimensional Agency, with High Lord Mask and Knight-King Sir Reginald, enact the Treaty of Three. The Multiverse and Universal Nexus will be balanced once more!" The three blades crossed, a light gleaming off the blades like a beacon of hope.

"For order!" Sir Reginald proclaimed.

"For survival!" Mask added with a dastardly smile.

"For one and for all!" Zedekiah concluded. The swords were returned to their sheaths, the three men exchanging handshakes and smiles. "Gentlemen, I wish you luck on finding the rest of the Originals."

"Thank you, Sir Strong." Sir Reginald said, picking up a handful of files. "I'll have the best Paladins and Battle-Priests scour the cosmos to find these Originals. I'm certain…" He glanced through a few of the names. "Ruby Rose, Allen Walker, and Steven Universe will be cooperative in fighting the Darknesses."

"You have fun with the kids." Mask said, holding at entire stack of files. "I'm going after this Kurosaki Reaper kid and entire Joestar lineage! Eight certified badass generations of family! Who gives a damn if one of my Courtiers has a hissy fit because of it?" He barked a laugh. "Like he'll try anything if he doesn't want me to spear him through the throat for the fifth time this week." Zedekiah rolled his eye and picked up the remaining files from the table.

"Thank you again for agreeing to this meeting." Zedekiah humbly said.

"Hopefully, we can resolve this issue before even greater catastrophe comes forth, like the Eldritch Beings escaping through cracks in the Dimensional Barriers or something like that." Mask laughed and added his own two cents.

"Or the True Penance Chambers open up and all sorts of ungodly horrors escape into the Multiverse!" Mask noticed that Zedekiah and Sir Reginald weren't laughing with him. "We're…We're not doing a bit, are we?" He sighed and frowned a bit. "I thought we were doing a bit." He cleared his throat and decided to make himself scarce. "I'll see myself out. Got places to be, things to do, WMDs to prepare, potential traitors to root out, the usual. See you dicks later!" Mask left, while Sir Reginald bowed out of politeness.

"A pleasure to see you again, Sir Strong." Sir Reginald said. "I bid you farewell until we meet again." Zedekiah gave a curt nod as the Knight-King took his leave. Watcher collected the remaining files and walked towards Zedekiah, a slightly concerned look on his face.

"Are you absolutely certain this will work?" Watcher asked. "Operation: Dimensional Rebels is fraught with risks."

"I've almost never been more certain of anything in my life, Watcher." Zedekiah said, walking out of the room with Watcher tailing him. "I trust the predictions that the Chronicler made, they will be followed to a 't', and when this all blows over, I'm dedicating an entire library to the old bastard back at Base Prime and declaring New World neutral ground for the Universal Powers." Watcher sighed, but didn't press the matter further. After countless eons of serving under Zedekiah, Watcher had known never to doubt the Judge of Worlds and his choices.

Everything had a reason for doing as they do in his eyes, but when they strayed from the path they were set on, Zedekiah and the IDA were there to set things in place once more. Now was the time to rely on not just the IDA, but others. Rely on the Order, rely on the Army, rely on the Originals, and of course, rely on the ones fighting against the enemy with all the courage in their hearts and souls, the Seven Lights.

Gods help them all…


End file.
